Punished for being selfish?

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Uknee

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I am from Chicago, when u was 18 i left to Mexico with my mother because she was sick and noone was able to help her out, i met my husband there and we had a son and a daughter, 6 years later i invested my money in doing my daughters birth abroad and my husbands residency, i brought them to Californua where i dremt of the american dream but all i did was put them in a hole, we live in an RV and my 5 year old goes to school with small clothes and with holes on it, he tells me he wants a Nintendo DS like the rest of the kids but i caant affort one so he just lowers his head and says “ok” im so proud of him never complaining about mommy not being able to buy him things.
I had to go to the hospital for a horrible pain i was having on both kidneys and all they did was put an iv on and send me home still with the pain and now i have to pay $2,000 in hospital bills because my job doesnt offer insurance and i cant apply for medicare because of my husbands legal status, i cant “depend” on thr government.
I feel God is punishing me for beibg selfish and bringing my family to the U.S i wanted to get away from the violence and brought them into poverty when my husband didnt even want to come to begin with. am i as horrible as i feel? Please be honest.
 
Hello.

You do not have to pay the hospital bills. The hospital can write it off.
 
It is an unfortunate event, not a punishment.

Check with your parish for assistance. WIC, SNAP and Medicaid should be available to you and your children due to your own citizenship. They are primarily about making sure people are taken care of, not enforcing immigration laws. If you had acted before returning to the U.S., your husband should have had an easy time getting a spousal visa. It may still be possible for him to get one but he’ll probably have to return to Mexico until it’s complete. You should talk to an immigration lawyer for advice (many will consult the poor for free - and the diocese may know one to talk to).
 
You are NOT being punnished. I promise you. Ever heard the saying “can’t get blood/water from a stone”? If your broke, your broke. Hospital bills, for the poor, I think wind up at the bottom of the pile.

I am poor. I am behind in my rent, my utlities, my car payment, my car insurance, owe family money, have significant credit card debt, and have outstanding medical expenses. The old medical bills go on the bottom of my list.

I have also let an illegal immigrant stay with me in my apartment before. He was new to this country and I wanted to help him and I did. If it was my wife or husband I wouldn’t give it a second thought.

The way I see it there are laws made by God, and laws made by man. My father told me that before God revealed himself to Moses there were tons of laws, God cut them back to 10 commandments.

Today there are tons of laws made by man. They increase every day. I consider myself smart enough to figure out what the reallly important laws are (don’t murder, don’t rape, don’t steal, don’t assault people) and what the laws made by man are that are not really high on God’s priority list, and possibly not on his list at all. Slavery used to be legal… people who cry about ‘the rule of law’ would have had to support slavery back when it was legal and would be for chasing down people providing them with santuary.

You have your family. Let your conscience guide you as to what laws are really important in the teachings of Jesus Christ, what would Jesus Christ do in such a situation? Love your neighbor as yourself. it doesn’t say “unless they wer born OVER THERE”

I have endured more struggles with bad life circumstances in the past 4 years than I have in the past 20 before that. Things are getting better this past year. I never thoght God was punnishing me. I considerd it bad luck. Now I have my faith and God and Jesus I can turn to all the time, every day, for comfort, hope, etc and I do that. And it helps.

I believe that hte immigration laws have recently changed so that if a US citizen is married to someone who is illegal, if they have children then it is automatically a hardship to send the illegal immigrant back to their country. Prior to this, the illegla had to go back to their country for 10 years unless you could prove EXTREME HARDSHIP… like you are a quadrapalegic and your spouce is a nurse that provides you with round the clock care…that would be a slam dunk case. The further you get from that the harder it was to prove EXTREME hardhsip.

Now the law is if you have kids it is automatically a hardship…which it obviously is…breaking up the family…something I belive that God and Jesus would both strongly be against.

Now this is going to pose some people wanting to scam the system in future years…although I’d immagine that far fewer people would be willing to have a baby with someone to scam immigration than go to a civil union cerimony…but it may happen…

But in your case you already have your children. So your immigration case is easy now where before it could be hard. It will take time and processing, etc but because of this law your husband will only have to go back for a very short time (possibly you with him to do paperwork there) compared to 10 YEARS which was the law like a year ago.

Can you immagine that? Married to someone you love, means the world to you. You even have children together. Your a taxpayer and a citizen. And the government wants to rip your family apart for 10 YEARS because some paperwork rules were not followed and otherwise your spouce is a law abiding citizen, not a crook or thief or someone who does violence…

not a law Jesus would support IMHO.
 
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Uknee said:
I am from Chicago, when u was 18 i left to Mexico with my mother because she was sick and noone was able to help her out, i met my husband there and we had a son and a daughter, 6 years later i invested my money in doing my daughters birth abroad and my husbands residency, i brought them to Californua where i dremt of the american dream but all i did was put them in a hole, we live in an RV and my 5 year old goes to school with small clothes and with holes on it, he tells me he wants a Nintendo DS like the rest of the kids but i caant affort one so he just lowers his head and says “ok” im so proud of him never complaining about mommy not being able to buy him things.
I had to go to the hospital for a horrible pain i was having on both kidneys and all they did was put an iv on and send me home still with the pain and now i have to pay $2,000 in hospital bills because my job doesnt offer insurance and i cant apply for medicare because of my husbands legal status, i cant “depend” on thr government.
I feel God is punishing me for beibg selfish and bringing my family to the U.S i wanted to get away from the violence and brought them into poverty when my husband didnt even want to come to begin with. am i as horrible as i feel? Please be honest.
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Your post was very confusing to me. First, in answer to your question, I do not think God punishes people for being selfish. Nor do I think (based on this brief description) that you were necessarily being selfish. Sometimes though, we find ourselves in situations due to our own decisions that are unpleasant.

If you (an American Citizen) left the United States and met and married a man in Mexico, and then returned to the United States, that man can apply for citizenship. At least I think that is the hurdle you are discussing when you say you can’t apply for medicare because of your husband’s legal status.

No one can or should depend on the government. The government is not there for people to depend on. It is there to provide the framework on which the country is run. To be successful one must help oneself (in a legal way.)

If you are having medical problems, you should visit a physician’s office first before going to an emergency room. Any bills a person runs up, whether at a doctor’s office or at a hospital, are their responsibility. Even if you can only pay them $5 a month, I feel it is your moral obligation to pay. When people say, “you should just ignore those medical bills…” they forget that they also say, “I don’t know why healthcare is so expensive!” One reason healthcare is so expensive is because people run up bills they don’t intend on paying.

The other statements I don’t get in your post were about you investing your money in doing your daughter’s birth abroad and your husband’s residency. If you are an American citizen, than in most cases any child you have is also an American citizen. And if your husband is doing his residency (to become a doctor) then wouldn’t he be able to help you with your medical issue?

Sorry if my assumptions about your post were incorrect. These are just my opinions based on what you wrote.
 
As an aside, good luck finding any physician to even see you without insurance.

I
have insurance and cannot even imagine how horrible it is to go without. Continue to use the emergency room, try and find a non-profit and/or Catholic hospital they get tax write-offs for providing charity care. Many though fail to provide charity care and instead pay their administrators big, big bucks.

I am against Obamacare, but believe Catholic hospitals, physicians, dentists (especially) are failing their fellow citizens when they live lives we go into debt to fund. They owe it to society as Catholic health care providers to care first, bill second and to bill an amt within reason for that person.
 
I think that when she was talking about her husband’s ‘residency’ she was referring to where he resides.

I think you should contact Catholic Charities for assitance. I placed a call to them about 8 months ago when things were very bad for my financially to find out any assistiance I might be able to get. I was very reluctant to place the call, but even more reluctant to become homelss.

I didn’t follow through in connecting with them for help (borrowed money from family) but they did indicate there were services available to families in need. It is the charity I would turn to in the future and the charity I will donate to when I am able to afford dontating money to a charity.

Your situation is complicated because your married to an illegal immigrant. But since you have dependent children, you should be able to get healthcare for them regardless of their fathers status re: immigration.

And with things like food stamps you will count as a family minus 1, since your husband is an illegal immigrant. So if you have 2 kids your a family of 3 as far as the food stamps application is concerned. You will have to include his income and yours but will not be able to count him as a member of the family when determining eligibility.

If you truely beome desperate you can go to a homeless shelter. I lived in a few 20 years ago, and from what I hear the ones for families are much better than the ones for single adults. It’s worth looking into.

Then you can get on your feet and eventually you’ll be paying more in taxes each year than what you go from the system in the way of help when your in the desperate circumstances you are in now.

If you have access to the internet I would suggest doing searches for agencies that could be of service to you and explaining your circumstances and it might take yo ua little while but should be able to get directed to one or more agencies that could help you. At a minimum you need someone to talk to regarding your stress around your life circumstances.

It’s not as bad as it seems. Your overwhelmed at the moment so your emotions are making things seems worse than they are. Try and do things to relax and be calm like meditation and prayer. Deep breaths, etc. More prayer. And get on the internet and phone to find angencies that can help you over this short term hurdle.

It’s best if you do this sooner rather than later, and always keep your focus on getting out of the system, getting off any benefits or help you may get, it’s a trap of quicksand that swallows people for hte good of the government to ramp up the stats of the number of people they ‘need’ to help. What you need is to take steps to get your family on its feet. If you need to use some charity to do so that’s what it’s there for. Just keep your foucs on using it minimally to get you trhough your emergenvcy so you don’t get stuck there. That way you can get help and can give someone else the advice I’m giving you, as someone who used to be homelss but got out of the system and work for a living, despite all my problems, and feel the dignity that comes with that.

God Bless
 
Dear sister,
you are not being selfish, you are doing the best you can. It’s very hard with 2 small children.
When you speak of your husband’s “residency,” do you mean he’s a resident alien, with a green card? Or something else?
Medicare is for people who are over 65 or disabled, it doesn’t sound like you fit into those categories.
California is the worst state, in my opinion, to live in for medical care right now. Their system is disintegrating, though many doctors are fighting valiantly to provide care. It may improve in the future, but if I lived there, I would move.

Have you considered going to school to improve your lot? You could take courses in medical billing, or become a CNA leading to an RN, or any number of things that are in demand, and would lead to a better life for your family. You could take one or two courses at a time, and still work.
 
Viki63 said:
Medicare is for people who are over 65 or disabled, it doesn’t sound like you fit into those categories.
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small correction: Medicaid/Medi-Cal is for all low income people, regardless of age.
 
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