Suppose your spouse/SO dumps you because they’ve been cheating on you with your best friend all through your relationship. Does it hurt? Yeah. Did they ever lay a finger on you? No.
Fire can be used as a metaphor for purification-- like burning out impurities in metal. Or fire can be used as a metaphor for torture, like being burned alive. Sometimes ice is the metaphor-- the coldness of the absence of love and good things.
There may be literal fire and ice; I’m not arguing one way or the other, because it doesn’t get in the way of the point that’s being made. But we can experience emotional/spiritual pain that is far greater than the physical discomfort we endure.
But ultimately, when we undergo our initial judgment, we’re in the presence of God. And to be compelled to separate ourselves from that after having experienced it— that’s a tough thing. Whether it’s on a temporary basis or a permanent basis, there’s a lot of anguish connected with being separated from the greatest thing in the universe, especially when compounded by a full knowledge of Reality, and a full absence of excuses and self-illusion.