Purity and Chastity

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Prayers needed for my boyfriend’s conversion. He admitted to me about his sexual life in the past and told me that he is willing to be chaste and pure again for our relationship to work out since he wants to marry me someday. I broke up with him last September due to infidelity (caught him flirting with other women online). He struggled with pornography as well. He recently had a change of heart after I introduced him to Jason Evert’s talks on chastity and purity; and decided to quit the habit of watching porn. On the other hand, I myself am also having a hard time forgetting all the flirting he did with other women and accepting the fact that he did not save himself for marriage. I am a virgin, and I have always been a faithful girlfriend to him. I do not know how to get past his impure behaviours. I am in a huge dilemma right now. I do not know if our relationship is still worth saving or not. Please pray for me, and pray for Alvin.
 
Prayers needed for my boyfriend’s conversion. He admitted to me about his sexual life in the past and told me that he is willing to be chaste and pure again for our relationship to work out since he wants to marry me someday. I broke up with him last September due to infidelity (caught him flirting with other women online). He struggled with pornography as well. He recently had a change of heart after I introduced him to Jason Evert’s talks on chastity and purity; and decided to quit the habit of watching porn. On the other hand, I myself am also having a hard time forgetting all the flirting he did with other women and accepting the fact that he did not save himself for marriage. I am a virgin, and I have always been a faithful girlfriend to him. I do not know how to get past his impure behaviours. I am in a huge dilemma right now. I do not know if our relationship is still worth saving or not. Please pray for me, and pray for Alvin.
Praying for you & Alvin.
 
Make this guy prove he is worthy. I don’t care how long it takes. It is FAR better to be safe than sorry.
 
Praying that the Lord may grant you guidance about your relationship. Also praying for your boyfriend.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen
 
Asking the intercession of St. Joseph and the Blessed Mother for both of you… :crossrc:

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you. Blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.
 
The Lord is a stronghold for the oppressed,
A stronghold in time of distress.

Father in heaven,
you never reject those who seek your help,
and are ever ready to comfort the sorrowful.
Have pity on us in our needs,
and rescue us from all our afflictions.
In Christ’s name,
we implore your compassion. Amen.
 
I will add your intention to the next decade of my Rosary. However I am a 21 year old male. And a devout Catholic. I feel I should tell you that men truly struggle with sexual thoughts, especially when idle. I was exposed to pornography at a young age and it took me about four years total to TRULY say goodbye to it and recognize it for the evil that is.

Porn desensitizes us and separates the context of sex and the marital act. It probably LED to your bf cheating on you who has been influenced not to think of sex in the context of a marriage. A good Catholic therapist can help him but please don’t see him as psychologically crippled or unfit for marriage. Yes men can and will say anything to woo the attractive ladies but if you feel he is sincere about cleaning himself up he probably is. Give him a shot and remember…men are weaker than we seem and we either need a faithful wife or the Lord Himself to back us up.
 
Was rereading parts of the books by Bl.Emmerich , on the Life of Christ { happily to realise how much is left behind , in the earlier causal reading of same - not that it is in any sense inerrant writings ) and came across the connection of Aseneth, wife of Joseph of Old Testament and the connection to Sychar , of the Samaritan woman , whom The Lord seems almost as though going in search of - may be showing us the way and will of honoring family connections , since it is often such connections that can also bring us trouble ;

there is the Old Testament painful episode of Jacob’s daughter Dinah and the killings of the Shechemites , through vengeance and deciet , by Levi and Simeon , sons of Jacob ;

with the Feast of St.Joseph , 9 days from now, one way to honor him could be, through invocation of family connections , from a devotion that Bl. Emmerich recommends , of saying 9 ’ Hail Mary ’ s in honor of the 9 months of the holy pregnancy of Sst.Ann and Joachim, parents of Bl.Mother, from a closely gaurded and holy family line and possibly the holiest couple who ever lived - Bl.Mother , future wife of St.Joseph , along with latter also honored as patrons of purity .

Sts Ann and Joachim had lived in continence and abstaining , for almost 20 years , before bringing forth the Bl.Mother , in the PreFall plan of God , of Immaculate Conception.

Purity in married lives too is said to have powerful beneficial effects for the children and invoking the blessings and protection through family connections , in the bl.Mother and her family connections , on behalf of all the children, young and old, even deceased , might be a good way , to counter many negavtive family influneces that might have come in one way or other !

holyfacedevotion.com/full_litany.htm

Focusing on The Adorable Holy Face, meditating on the life of The Lord , in all the stages, and esp. on The Passion, the 10th station where in , He is portrayed as suffering the pain of having His blood soaked clothing being pulled off, offering up the love and mercy of The Holy Face ,(name removed by moderator)lace of our sinful inclinations - all such means of battling on behalf of all in our lives, would also be the means of trying to love our God with all our mind and heart and strenght !

Bessings !
 
Our father who art in heaven
Hallowed be your name
Your kingdom come
Your will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give us this day our daily bread
And forgive us our trespasses
As we forgive those who trespass against us
Lead us not into temptation
But deliver us from evil.

Eternal God , in whom mercy is endless,
and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible ,
look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us ,
that in difficult moments we might not despair
nor become despondent , but with great confidence ,
submit ourselves to Your Holy Will ,
which is love and mercy itself . Amen
 
He recently had a change of heart after I introduced him to Jason Evert’s talks on chastity and purity…
Excuse me for giving unsolicited advice, but please take a moment to listen to Jason’s views on missionary dating. I think you’ll find them to be useful for your circumstances.

Praying for your intentions.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Amen.
 
We have a lot in common. But I assure you, there’s hope. What’s left is to trust God and have patience.

My boyfriend wasn’t Catholic when I met him, and took him a year to convert. It was painful for me, but I didn’t force him to do it or sped up the process, I was patient, I trusted God, and prayed for my boyfriend to “fall in love with the Truth”, to be passionate about it.
But you also have to be open to God’s will. Maybe he’s not the person intended for your future, or maybe this is a trial for you and to improve your prayer and your trust in Him.
Before my bf’s conversion we read Jason Evert’s books together, talk about them. We also watched his videos and read “Love and Responsibility” together. It’s a good goal to seek together for the best way to learn to love each other. It’s really good learning the sanctity of the marital act. Also the best way to love each other is with God’s love. I kept showing him that, and he had really hard time understanding it. He eventually did, which lead to his conversion. Do that. Love him with God’s love. Show him God’s love. I don’t know the bible by heart, but Corinthians describe how’s love like. Love God in his place meanwhile.
I once made him a box with little pieces of folded paper with phrases and thoughts of saints and other people; (I tried not putting the ones that mentioned God or Jesus at first), and I told him to take one out during the day, or when he was worried or upset. He liked that, and was a nice little gift.

Porn, masturbation, flirting are big issues. And hard, I know. It’s important to talk about this, but never go bersek or start screaming or blackmail the other person. Let the other person talk. Why? when, how… what’s he expecting from that. Then let him know (with love ) what’s really happening, and the pain that is inflicting, to him, to you, to your relationship, to your future marriage, to your future kids. Try helping him find ways to avoid that, or distract the mind. Finally, trully forgiving him, and encouraging him not to do it again.

As I said in the begining, the best thing to do is pray, trust God, and show him His love better than telling him. Showing through little gestures, actions, forgiveness, patience and even little presents are a bigger impact than repeating words. Also is good to let him talk, express his thoughts on the matter, to let out his questions, his doubts, his fears. And listen, listen, listen.
 
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