purity help

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DarthFurg

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ive been struggling with purity and staying pure due to impure touches. i tried extremely hard to stop and would pray when tempted ect ect, but recently slipped up. ii really need help in overcoming this. šŸ˜¦

i confess it at confession and feel so much better. i started sobbing in confession last time. but then it happened again and i HATE it. the priest told me it was normal for my age and then gave me my penance
 
DarthFurg said:
ive been struggling with purity and staying pure due to impure touches. i tried extremely hard to stop and would pray when tempted ect ect, but recently slipped up. ii really need help in overcoming this. šŸ˜¦

i confess it at confession and feel so much better. i started sobbing in confession last time. but then it happened again and i HATE it. the priest told me it was normal for my age and then gave me my penance
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Yupā€¦ itā€™s extremely common for this to happen. Any time after puberty, the body is gearing up for the reproductive years. Itā€™s normal and will not harm you physically. The best thing you can do is try not to worry too much about it. Like it or not, this activity relieves stress. Worry, guilt, shame and fear only produce stress which will cause you to do it even more. It can become a viscious cycle if you allow the guilt to consume you.

Control the things in your enviroment that you can. Stay away from bad movies, books and the wrong crowd and this stuff wonā€™t take over your life. Talk to Jesus about it and tell him how you feel. None of us are able to live in perfectly every day. This is just part of the human condition that none of us are very proud of. Just do your best and be at peace!
šŸ™‚
 
Great advice, TLM08. Might I also add that there are some great resources out there that deal with this situation. Check out Jason Evertā€™s talks (I know you can even look him up on Youtube) and also Christopher Westā€™s ā€œGood News on Sex and Marriage.ā€ They talk frankly about struggling with this kind of temptation.

Keep your chin up and keep that warrior attitude! With God at your side, this too shall pass. šŸ™‚
 
Check out the chastity link on the Catholic forums website too. There are very useful links that I think you will find helpful as well.
 
thank you guys for all your help šŸ˜ƒ
i just am worried that if i die, i will go to hell. i know it seems extreme but it can happen right? i had been trying to stop, i didnt do it for a week but then i did. i know one of the 15 promises of the rosary is you wont die with a mortal sin. should i start praying it more often?
 
Hi buddy,

While we are called to try and resist temptation, we are not called to be perfect. If God only accepted perfect followers, the kingdom of heaven would be empty. Immaturity of youth mitigates the mortal nature of masturbationā€“I wouldnā€™t worry about going to hell. Remember that the only way one gets sent to hell is if they deliberately turn away from God and His mercy. You seem to be genuinely sorry for your actions and our Lord forgives you. I suggest you read John 3:16 and 14:1-6 for comfort and reassurance that God loves us all and will accept every one of us into his kingdom if we accept his forgiveness.

The grace and peace of the Lord be with you!

Mike
 
hi Mike! šŸ™‚

thanks for replying and also the reassurance. and yes, as you said, i am truly sorry and really keep trying to stop. i have another question though. i thought if you commit any moral sin, under the 3 circumstances, and you die you go to hell. i mean i didnt want to turn away from God, heck he is the only thing i want, and i want to go to heaven so badly.
 
Well you may not think so but there are some very positive signs in what you said.

Firstly you cried for your sins, that shows great sorrow. The more sorrow we have for our sins the less we are likely to commit them in future. Iā€™d encourage you to read the story of Mary and Simon the Pharisee in Luke 7:36-. St John Vieanny said many are forgiven but few are converted. People are not converted because they are not sorry and they think they will so it again.

Secondly you show a Fear of the Lord. Thatā€™s a gift of the Holy Spirit and it is so rare today.
So with these two valuable traits you will over come this soon.

The Introduction to the Devout life by St Francis De Sales has some excellent chapters on temptations.
catholicity.com/devoutlife/
I recommend chapters 7,8,9 of book four, they are short and easy to read.

Maybe you could make a plan of what to do if this situation occurs again. Maybe there is a friend you could call who will be a calming influence. Or write yourself a letter about how you felt after it last timeā€¦

Sometimes it happens that we try and avoid a sin and then we start down the wrong path, because we think weā€™ve blown it we stop fighting. We can always stop at any point, there is always some more sin to avoid.

You have two amazing gifts if you hold onto these you will overcome this.
 
Hey Michael šŸ˜ƒ

thanks for the help! i was completely unaware of the ā€œtwo gifts i had.ā€ I knenw Fear of God was a gift of the Holy Spirit, but i never really knew what it was fully. i will definitely read the scripture you said to. And also, when you said people give up after they commit the sin once, they fall into more sin, is kind of how i was feeling. But i want to stay strong and defeat the devil.
 
DarthFurg said:
i have another question though. i thought if you commit any moral sin, under the 3 circumstances, and you die you go to hell.
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Darth, while this may be true, I really donā€™t believe you committed a mortal sin. As I said before, while masturbation is a sin, there are many factors that mitigate the mortal nature of it. These include immaturity, addiction, stress, hormones, etc. For a sin to be mortal it has to be grave matter, you have to have full knowledge, and you must have full consent. Your teenage hormones and young age undoubtedly hinder your ā€œfull consentā€ā€“face it, any man would agree that an erect penis has no conscience. So even though you committed what CAN be a mortal sin, it is most likely a venial sin and will not send you to hell. My best advice to you is to say an Act of Contrition, chill out, and try to avoid temptation. When you fall again, Jesus will be there to catch you. You seem to be a very religious young man and Iā€™m sure you are very loved by God.

Mike
 
hey Mike

that makes me feel a whole lot better. i didnt know about the other circumstances like hormones ect ect. i am pretty religious i guess, at least i try, and i try to surround myself with really devout catholic who have helped me emensly and i owe so much to them for helping me, and because of their help, i have helped my own family get better i guess, but there is always room for growth, and i am far from perfect. i just want to please God, and i know he loves me no matter what, but for my own sake i need to get this under control. and thank you guys for helping me out so much. God bless you guys for all your help, you guys are great šŸ˜ƒ
 
DarthFurg said:
Hey Michael šŸ˜ƒ
ā€¦people give up after they commit the sin once, they fall into more sin, is kind of how i was feeling. But i want to stay strong and defeat the devil.
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Itā€™s a very common thought. We can always stop. People often say Iā€™ve gone this far, it wonā€™t make any difference now what I do. A Nazi could have said Iā€™ve killed 20,000 people, one more wonā€™t make a difference. The answer is of course it will, every sin wounds the body of Christ and our brothers and sisters.
Tell yourself you donā€™t need to go further.
Of course you will stay strong.
 
thanks michael

ya before this, i felt all alone, but now i know a lot of people struggle with this and you guys have helped so much. thank you so much
 
i went there, it seems to be under construction
ill visit again though!šŸ™‚
 
i asked my devout friend about the hormones thing, she says that we must have those under control:confused::confused::confused::confused:
 
DarthFurg said:
i asked my devout friend about the hormones thing, she says that we must have those under control:confused::confused::confused::confused:
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Women may have a little easier time because their bodies are different. You can however influence your brain by learning to control your mind and thoughts and that will help to keep those hormones from controlling your thoughts. I am not condoning masturbation, but the truth is that 90% of young men (or more) do this. The most important thing is for you to develop an attitude of hatred for all sin and avoid it the best you can.
 
DarthFurg. You are not alone. All we can do is take it one day at a time and do acts of penance, pray and Confess. There is a 60 day way of purity course at www.settingcaptivesfree.org. Like you I had fears of hell, purgatory etc. I suppose even while we struggle to fight this we can do genuine acts of charity. They say charity covers a multitude of sins.

Lord be merciful to me a sinner. Though we are sinners we trust in your mercy and Love.:(šŸ˜¦
 
DarthFurg said:
ive been struggling with purity and staying pure due to impure touches. i tried extremely hard to stop and would pray when tempted ect ect, but recently slipped up. ii really need help in overcoming this. šŸ˜¦

i confess it at confession and feel so much better. i started sobbing in confession last time. but then it happened again and i HATE it. the priest told me it was normal for my age and then gave me my penance
Click to expand...
my advice: pray the rosary each day you will gain benefits you never dared to dream of.those who pray the rosary have the power of God in their hands, trust in the one and only Virgin Mary.she will help you.be devoted to the rosary and the devil will flee.
 
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