Purity, Modesty, and How We Dress At Mass

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Today’s EWTN homily was given by Fr. Dominic Mary. He spoke of St. Bernadine of Siena, who is well know for his promotion of the virtue of purity. Fr. Dominic’s homily focused on modesty and the way that we dress, especially at Mass.

Here are a few highlights from his comments:

Purity requires modesty. Modesty is the dignity of the person and protects the mystery of the person.

Culture now sees people as things. We have become desynthesized to the value of a person.

We should not dress in a way that provokes others to have an unhealthy curiosity.

We come to Mass and pray, “lead us not into temptation”, but dress in a way that could lead others into temptation and sin.

He also spoke specifically about how one should dress for Mass, especially the ladies.

Here’s a link if you would like to view a portion of Fr. Dominic Mary’s homily concerning modesty and how we dress. The full homily can be seen on EWTN’s website or on their YouTube channel.
 
Thanks for sharing. I really REALLY dislike the way some women dress at mass. I am a man who asks Jesus in his daily prayers to make me more pure, more holy, and to keep me from falling into temptation. One of those hot button temptations for me is lust. Although it would be harder for me to physically act upon it, my mind is another story. And at the very moment where I am offering myself up in the Lord’s house, trying to prepare myself to receive him, I have to strain myself to avoid looking at the women at mass dressed immodestly. It’s bad enough that I have to see this out in the world, but I wish church was at least a safe zone.

Women don’t realize how visual some (most?) men are, and the way they dress can directly affect our spiritual state. I know it’s a tough subject but I wish more priests would address this issue, however gently, in their homilies or at least in the church bulletins. Ladies, you’re beautiful-- but please cover up at mass!!! 👍
 
Haven’t seen Fr. Dom in a while, but he’s chewin’ bubble gum and takin’ names! 👍
 
Thanks for this, I typically dress modestly but realized that I’m not always aware of what might be immodest. This was helpful.
 
Thanks for sharing. I am a woman and I thank you for commenting on this for it has been a struggle for me in my life so far wondering why we( women) cant differentiate church and clubs. May God have mercy on us. To all men who have been tempted because of our outfits, I ask forgiveness on behalf of all women.

Father, grant that we learn to differentiate your temple with other places. Teach us to respect your house and that we may always remember that your house is sacred and that we should enter it with purity of body and heart! Mother Mary intercedes for us that we may be worthy to approach our Father’s house with dignity. Amen.
 
Aline38 said:
Thanks for sharing. I am a woman and I thank you for commenting on this for it has been a struggle for me in my life so far wondering why we( women) cant differentiate church and clubs. May God have mercy on us. To all men who have been tempted because of our outfits, I ask forgiveness on behalf of all women.

Father, grant that we learn to differentiate your temple with other places. Teach us to respect your house and that we may always remember that your house is sacred and that we should enter it with purity of body and heart! Mother Mary intercedes for us that we may be worthy to approach our Father’s house with dignity. Amen.
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At the protestant church I sing in, there was a confirmation last week. I saw a girl who is about 13-14, get confirmed in a skirt that was higher than mid thigh and barely covered her fishnets. I was shocked.
 
greenwoj said:
Thanks for sharing. I really REALLY dislike the way some women dress at mass. I am a man who asks Jesus in his daily prayers to make me more pure, more holy, and to keep me from falling into temptation. One of those hot button temptations for me is lust. Although it would be harder for me to physically act upon it, my mind is another story. And at the very moment where I am offering myself up in the Lord’s house, trying to prepare myself to receive him, I have to strain myself to avoid looking at the women at mass dressed immodestly. It’s bad enough that I have to see this out in the world, but I wish church was at least a safe zone.

Women don’t realize how visual some (most?) men are, and the way they dress can directly affect our spiritual state. I know it’s a tough subject but I wish more priests would address this issue, however gently, in their homilies or at least in the church bulletins. Ladies, you’re beautiful-- but please cover up at mass!!! 👍
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Thanks for the honesty! I wish more women realized this.
 
Thank you! I am a guy and have many “lady friends”, many of whom I find attractive. I want them to dress modestly so I won’t be distracted (even though ultimately the choise not to lust is my responsibility, and I think I’ve become good at resisting sexual temptation). One way I learned to fight such temptation is to quote Psalm 84: "How lovely is Your dwelling place, O Lord of hosts! " It helps remind me that she is God’s daughter and a Temple of the Holy Spirit.
 
Around ten years ago, I worked in a ministry that served women in addiction. Many of these ladies came from the streets. My ministry at that time involved taking the Catholic ladies in recovery to Mass. Many of these ladies were pretty raw, coming from a street situation. However, they had a great desire to reconcile with Jesus and His church. All that they had to wear at the time would be considered immodest, and not pure at all. But they wore the best they had. They spent some time preparing themselves as best they could. The pew would sometimes have six or seven of these ladies. And at first, some of our brothers and sisters in the church gave us stares, scowls, etc. BUT, when they learned what was happening, their hearts melted. Soon my ministry was gone, as these brothers and sisters took over, took the girls for breakfasts, lunches, etc. and began to mentor to them. Wonderful relationships occured when people adopted them and my ministry was over. And over time, many of the girls began to dress much more modestly.

I guess it’s a matter of being aware of what’s happening … at least sometimes.

Blessings
 
I also viewed the Daily Mass today on EWTN wherein Father Dominic preached on purity of dress for attending Mass. Father didn’t concentrate only on the ladies - men came under scruitny also — shorts at Mass, shoes with no socks - 😦

My understanding is that Father Dominic is assigned to the Seminary and that is why we don’t get to see him very much on EWTN. I certainly do miss his “in your face” homilies when we do have the privilege of his celebrating the Mass.

My parish is an historical church and during the summer months the church is packed with tourists. Last Sunday a young woman actually presented herself in the Communion line in short shorts, flip flops and a half blouse (whatever that is called). I was shocked.:eek:

I also have a problem with our Cantors who wear blouses with no sleeves; I really dislike to see Cantors or Readers so close to the Altar with bare arms. I believe these people can be told by the Music Director and/or the Rector and/or another official to cover up while at the Altar.

But, what is the Rector to do about the tourists? Can we have a homily which would offend half of the people sitting in the pews? Many pastors feel that they are happy the people are coming to Mass at all.

It is a dilemna.:sad_yes:

:amen:
 
mullenpm said:
I also viewed the Daily Mass today on EWTN wherein Father Dominic preached on purity of dress for attending Mass. Father didn’t concentrate only on the ladies - men came under scruitny also — shorts at Mass, shoes with no socks - 😦

My understanding is that Father Dominic is assigned to the Seminary and that is why we don’t get to see him very much on EWTN. I certainly do miss his “in your face” homilies when we do have the privilege of his celebrating the Mass.

My parish is an historical church and during the summer months the church is packed with tourists. Last Sunday a young woman actually presented herself in the Communion line in short shorts, flip flops and a half blouse (whatever that is called). I was shocked.:eek:

I also have a problem with our Cantors who wear blouses with no sleeves; I really dislike to see Cantors or Readers so close to the Altar with bare arms. I believe these people can be told by the Music Director and/or the Rector and/or another official to cover up while at the Altar.

But, what is the Rector to do about the tourists? Can we have a homily which would offend half of the people sitting in the pews? Many pastors feel that they are happy the people are coming to Mass at all.

It is a dilemna.:sad_yes:

:amen:
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Better offend tourists than God?
 
Sailor_Kenshin said:
Haven’t seen Fr. Dom in a while, but he’s chewin’ bubble gum and takin’ names! 👍
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This is the first time that I’ve heard Father Dominic. I appreciate that he preached with conviction and spoke plainly. Sometimes people do need to be “knocked upside the head”.
 
I agree that modesty at mass is sometimes neglected but I think a far more neglected issue is the simple appropriateness of clothing at mass. I see people at mass in tracksuit bottoms and dressed like they would if they were popping to the shop rather than going to mass. Admittedly I don’t have specific clothes I can wear for mass (I can’t afford it) but I try to look well-presented and smart. The priest at my old parish once talked about how we’ve lost the concept of wearing our ‘Sunday Best’. He also talked about once seeing a man come up for communion with a shirt saying ‘filled with the spirit’ and only when he saw the back as the man turned away after did he see that the back showed it was a reference to alcohol rather than the Holy Spirit - I mean on what planet do people think that’s an appropriate thing to wear to church???
 
I will have to watch this sermon when at home as my work computer doesn’t display media well.

I do admit in my younger years wearing jeans to church, but I don’t now. I’d much rather people wear a nice pair of jeans that are clean & not ripped with a nice shirt or sweater to church compared to ripped jeans or very tight/short/revealing clothes.
 
marlap2 said:
Around ten years ago, I worked in a ministry that served women in addiction…

Blessings
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Hi Marlap,

GREAT story! Just goes to show there’s always room for giving people the benefit of the doubt and realizing there’s exceptional circumstances. But the norm is still modesty. Maybe someone could have lent some clothing for the occasion?

I have always dressed up for church, but there have been one or two Sundays where unusual circumstances intervened and I ended up in more casual clothing. I felt a bit uncomfortable, and certainly glad that nobody [rudely] took it upon themselves to express disapproval. But I wish Sunday dress clothes were still the norm.

God Bless,
Joan
 
PerfectTiming said:
I agree that modesty at mass is sometimes neglected but I think a far more neglected issue is the simple appropriateness of clothing at mass. I see people at mass in tracksuit bottoms and dressed like they would if they were popping to the shop rather than going to mass. Admittedly I don’t have specific clothes I can wear for mass (I can’t afford it) but I try to look well-presented and smart. The priest at my old parish once talked about how we’ve lost the concept of wearing our ‘Sunday Best’. He also talked about once seeing a man come up for communion with a shirt saying ‘filled with the spirit’ and only when he saw the back as the man turned away after did he see that the back showed it was a reference to alcohol rather than the Holy Spirit - I mean on what planet do people think that’s an appropriate thing to wear to church???
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I ask myself that question that too. I was at an ordination last night and I felt very over-dressed in my blouse and skirt suit.:eek: I sweated throughout the entire Mass (no a/c in the church), but still. One would think that at the very least, one would think about dressing up for something such as an ordination???🤷
 
I don’t really care how you dress at mass, I’ve got to be honest.

I mean, I don’t know what’s in your heart. That’s not for me to judge. What is for me to judge is how I conduct myself, and how I can better live in accord with what’s right.
 
VeritasLuxMea said:
I don’t really care how you dress at mass, I’ve got to be honest.

I mean, I don’t know what’s in your heart. That’s not for me to judge. What is for me to judge is how I conduct myself, and how I can better live in accord with what’s right.
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We should show respect for being in the house of God. As with many things, our attitude towards the virtue of Modesty is a result of other, deeper issues.

Fr. Dominic’s stance is conservative and traditional, but he does make a very strong argument and some very good points. Watch the whole video. He really gets rolling after a while.

Here’s the link again.
 
novusCatholic said:
We should show respect for being in the house of God. As with many things, our attitude towards the virtue of Modesty is a result of other, deeper issues.

Fr. Dominic’s stance is conservative and traditional, but he does make a very strong argument and some very good points. Watch the whole video. He really gets rolling after a while.

Here’s the link again.
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I promise I will watch the whole thing, absolutely, but I’m on my way to a wedding right now so I’ll watch it when I come home.

I was just making the point, and perhaps he addressed this (I’ll find out later), that my primary concern is your state of mind, not your state of dress (as much as the two may be connected, they may not.)

Also, not to nitpick at all, just out of curiosity: what of those in climates/cultures where it is often 100 degrees hot and swamped with humidity or where it is typical to wear far less than is worn in North America and Northern Europe?
 
I’ve watched part of the homily on my mobile phone, and will have to search out the full version as I am at work.

He really makes you think about how you dress for Mass and showing respect for others. I am sure many people may need to re-think their wardrobe choices for Mass. I certainly am doing so even though I do dress modestly and know not to wear tight, revealing or cleavage bearing clothing to Mass - item types I save for outside of church & the office.

With the summer time coming in the USA, I certainly hope people will not wear the short shorts, tanks, spaghetti straps, etc. But of course with me living in a state in the USA dependent on tourism, many priests probably think its better that people show up even if they are going swimming afterward or just came from the local lake etc compared to offending visitors.
 
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