Purpose of marriage to get your spouse to Heaven?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lindeno
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
LaLucia, It sounds like you may just understand me more than you know! It’s been 3 years since my husband left and I still hold hope that someday he might “come to his senses” and come back. In my head, I know I want to forgive him if I ever have that chance. I don’t know that I’ll ever get that chance and if the time ever came, I’m sure I’d have a hard time trusting again. I have finally gotten to the point where I’ve let go enough to know that my wanting him back is not enough…He has to WANT to come back.

As far as the whole annullment issue goes, it’s been so long ago since we married, I don’t know that I would even be prepared to answer all the probing questions that might be asked. I do know that when we first met, my husband was not a “practicing” catholilc. He quit going to church on a regular basis when he got out of high school and he only begain going again when I convinced him to go with me while we were dating. He didn’t seem opposed to going regularly at the time we were married, but afterwards, he felt that he shouldn’t have to go to Mass EVERY week. He is an avid hunter and wanted to skip Mass during hunting season or when we were on vacation. I always insisted we find a church for the vacations (I took care of that part myself), but he always seemed resentful when I told him he had an obligation to attend even during hunting season. Now, my 15 year old son feels the same way. I make sure that he attends myself, as I feel responsible for my children’s souls, too.

These were not the type of issues I had to deal with growing up…I am the youngest of 5 and going to Sunday Mass was never an “option”, it was an obligation. But, I’m still o.k. with that! I tell my children that 1 hours at Mass on Sunday is not too much to ask in return for what God has done for them. They’re 20, 18, and 15, so I understand about them being disagreeable from time to time. I remember being that age. I grew out of that and I want them to do the same and appreciate their faith.

Sorry, I’m rambling…I do that…Just guess I’m lonely and miss having someone who understands me. Pray for me, for my children, and FOR MY EX. Thanks!*
 
Hi DManning, I am so sorry that you married a man who wasn’t that much into his religion.
It’s his flaw not yours. His family didn’t teach him about how important it is to attend Mass once per week. Now the kids want to follow in his footsteps.
Are you aware that if you miss Sunday Mass you can still make it up during the week?
During the week the Mass is only 1/2 hour because there is no singing time included.

When you were dating he attended church because you asked him to attend. Once he married you he felt he had you… and didn’t feel he had to attend church anymore.
He really didn’t want to attend church he was just doing it to keep you happy.
That is his major flaw. Most likely his parents didn’t attend church on a regular basis either. Or… they couldn’t make him attend church. That may be a good reason for an annulment. You will not really know until you apply for an annulment.

I have heard stories of husbands running off with a ex- high school girlfriend and then returning home to their wives. But your husband has been gone for three years. Hummm…We never know what the future holds. But I don’t think that God will hold you responsible for your spouse who wasn’t a good Catholic in the first place. Plus he has been a bad influence on the children. You also will not be able to control your kids when they grow up. They will do as they please. God will hold your husband and your kids responsible for their own behavior. You have done the best you could with all of them.

My advise is to get the questions that are asked for an annulment from your Church Office or from your priest. You don’t have to file for it right away. You can just take a year to think about it. I don’t think you are ready to let go of your husband. When your husband left you… it feels like your husband died but he really didn’t but he is nolonger in your life.
You are still mourning the loss of your husband. It may take years to recover from your loss. So… my advise is to go ahead and mourn your loss. PLUS, get envovled in a church activity. Join a prayer group. You can also join an RCIA group just to learn more about the Bible and the new rules of the Church. I have done that and I have learned a lot because we study the Bible and also ask questions that are personal questions and Church rules.
You will make some friends that you will look forward to meeting once per week.
It will be a fun thing to do.
God and your Angels are with you always because you are a very good person and it is not your fault your ex-spouse took off. When he gets old and ill he will remember what a good wife you were to him. He will be sorry he left you.

My advise to you is to go on in your life as a single parent and just do the best you can for you and your kids. They are growing up fast and they will keep you busy and happy with the joy that they bring you. When they grow up and get married they will have babies and those babies will give you some more joy in your life. You will have the time of your life with your grand-kids. That is your joyful future that is God given.

I am now a great grandmother and I just love my grand-kids and great-grand child. I have five grand-children and one great-grand child.
I used to be a counselor in a college for many years. I have also had life experience.
My wisdom comes from life experience and with the help of God I have survived many storms in my life. Remember the gospel of when Jesus was in the small boat in a storm and how he made the storm go away? That is how life is… filled with storms but Jesus is always there to help us survive the storms. Mourning the loss of a loved one…dead or alive is a storm in our lives. But God is always there to comfort us.
PEACE, Lucy
 
I will certainly be praying for you.

I would recommend you seek a spiritual advisor (usually a priest) to help you out with what you could do now.

Know that if you ever need to talk or vent that’s what these forums are for. Plenty of people willing to listen and who want to help. 😃
 
Hi again DManning, you can send me a private message if you like. I am retired and I will answer your messages. Lucy
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top