Does she contribute financially to your family or the sisters’ when she is living with you all? If not, she should be. She should not be able to gamble away her money and become a burden on her children.
Yes.
yup. typo. sorry.
So he helped pay the mortgage and now she is freeloading off her children and blowing the equity from the house at the casino?!?! That has to stop.
Ohhhh, I’d be furious, too! But, in fairness, I’ve accidentally left my garage door up before, too.
No cooking. No raw meat. Period. You should not have to watch her like you would a two-year-old. If she doesn’t understand that or want to follow those rules, she needs to make other arrangements.Next time she’s here, we’re going to continue to establish some rules, such as she has to clean hands after touching raw meat, no cooking without us home, etc. I’m just tired of her attitude and swearing at me under her breath in another language.
In looking back at what I wrote last night (in pain from falling down our stairs), I probably didn’t come across as charitable toward your MIL as I would’ve liked….
Ah, now that you mention it, there are some amazing space-age home systems now that allow you to do stuff with your cell phone when you’re away from home.
That’s really uncalled for. You are allowing her to be a guest in your home for an extended period of time, despite your health issues and responsibilities to your daughter. The very least she can do is not be rude.As for opening up her kids to her adult children, my husband had to help her pay the mortgage so she wouldn’t lose the house. So, the favor has been returned. We have been letting her stay on and off for years.
We have told her she is not allowed to cook by herself, which she obeyed. We’ll just have to see how she does when she comes for the summer. That way we can better assess her stability. Other than cooking, I also worry about the security of my home. She has left our home unlocked before, which freaks me out. One time I was across town, and she was on her way to the casino. She called me and said she couldn’t remember if she closed the garage door, AND she didn’t bother to have her friend drive her back to check. I was furious.
Next time she’s here, we’re going to continue to establish some rules, such as she has to clean hands after touching raw meat, no cooking without us home, etc. I’m just tired of her attitude and swearing at me under her breath in another language.
Well, the OP might not know what she’s saying (unless her husband is translating–which might be happening).
Maybe. I see what you mean. But if it’s directed at the OP, i.e. insinuating that the OP is responsible for the MIL’s misery, it would still be considered rude, IMHO.
Oh yeah, definitely rude. But that’s one of those situations where if you say something, it’s “What? I’m only praying. Can’t an old lady practice her faith?” If this has been MIL’s way of dealing with conflict forever, good luck getting her to change it now.
Right.
:hugs: Yes! I helped my Daddy die too. He had a lung transplant and I quit my career to become his caregiver. Sadly, the medicine for LT’s (prednisone) make people emotional & my baby sister only experienced Dad’s anger, drunkenness, and dark emotions. I had to the full rainbow of emotions from dark to light and cheery. It was indeed a way forms to repay my Dad for all my rebellion and his patience.
I think the key in your situation versus the OP’s is that this was YOUR mother, not your MIL. Very different dynamics for sure for most people
That’s true, too, to some extent, but some people are just hard to live with. Like I said in my earlier post, I really like my MIL, but I couldn’t live with her. And neither could my husband. But **both **of us would be fine living with my mother (in our home). She is very easy to get along with and not particular about anything.I think the key in your situation versus the OP’s is that this was YOUR mother, not your MIL. Very different dynamics for sure for most people
LOL….yes, that is EXACTLY how I would feel regarding my mom versus my MIL (who just bought a house a mile down the road from us….please pray for meThat’s true, too, to some extent, but some people are just hard to live with. Like I said in my earlier post, I really like my MIL, but I couldn’t live with her. And neither could my husband. But **both **of us would be fine living with my mother (in our home). She is very easy to get along with and not particular about anything.
I have a feeling I’m the kind of person who would be hard for my adult children to live with. So maybe I should start working on that now…
) But, I do think, in general, moms tend to be more well-behaved toward their own daughters than their daughter-in-laws and usually have a closer relationship with them. Unfortunately, my MIL doesn’t have any daughters to focus her time and energy on 
Fabulous idea!!!If I survive my husband, I plan to live out my days on a cruise ship….cheaper than a nursing home