Dear Epistemes,
I’m afraid I don’t know you and have not seen any previous threads about you and your girlfriend, or the situation that you’re in. I cannot arrive at any conclusions about your relationship because I don’t know anything about it, and even if you were to post a lot of information on this message board, it wouldn’t be the same as witnessing the experience between you two.
What I can tell you is what I can estimate, based on reading this one post. First of all, when I saw the title “Pwned!” my automatic assumption was that you had an issue with someone online either stealing your account information or messing up one of your websites, or something gamer-related. The reality is that you’re suggesting that you have “pwned” the people on this message board by getting a lovely card from your girlfriend suggesting that your relationship is working out, despite what others may have said.
“Pwned” is cyber-speak for “owned,” meaning that you “totally own” everyone who is in disagreement with you, by being better then they are. It gives the impression that you are in competiton with everyone on the board who doesn’t fully support you.
In reality, the Catholic Church is one Body in Christ, meaning that there is no competitiveness. Does the eye compete with the hand? Are the legs superior to the nose or the brain? Not at all, for each individual part makes up the whole and is useful in its right and in its way. All the individual parts are there for the use of the soul, just as all the individuals who make up the Church are there for the Creator.
What I infer is that you asked for advice about your long-distance relationship, people suggested that you were not mature enough for marriage, or that you were not willing to make proper sacrifices for your girlfriend in this circumstance, and you now feel the need to “get back” at them, as it were, by bragging about the card and your five-month anniversary.
If people were flaming you or otherwise attacking you without just cause, or were being caustic in their commentary, then it is understandable that you were hurt and wanted to feel justified in your actions. If people were offering you loving instruction in the hopes of helping you beyond what they could see objectively as problems, or suggesting that they objectively saw problems that were beyond overcoming, then your attitude hasn’t been charitable. In either case, remember these two things: people made their comments to you based on whatever information you provided, and whether justified in your anger or not, it is best to offer up charity instead of competition.
I get the sense that you care for the woman in question, but at the same time, you’re waving her around as a banner for everyone to see. That is being uncharitable to your beloved as well as the people on this message board.
My recommendation to you is this - if you are seeking help or answers to questions, and come to this message board with them, meditate on the advice given, retain the good, and reject what is evil. Repay kindness with kindess and evil with kindess. At the very least, ignore anyone who is intentionally unkind and seriously think about what those who are trying to be loving offer you as advice.
Please don’t flaunt your girlfriend as if she were a prize. It diminishes her dignity. Please remember that love is the desire for the good of the other, above the good of yourself. Think, first, before you type or say anything, about whether what you want to say is good for your girlfriend or even for the people on this board. We’re called to love all people, friends and enemies.
If you can apply this advice to your future posts, as you keep us up-to-date on your relationship’s progress, then you will demonstrate the maturity and compassion that other respondents say you’re lacking. But most important, if you follow this advice, you’ll begin to think of others more carefully, which will increase your ability to love your fellow man, and that will fulfill one of the two most important commandments: To love God with all your mind, heart, soul, and strenght, and to love your neighbor as yourself.
