Q re: tieing my tubes.

[mt_gooseberry]

GETTING YOUR TUBES TIED IS NOT 100% CERTAIN TO PREVENT PREGNANCY. My best friend’s sister just found out she is pregnant…5 years after having had her tubes tied. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is hysterectomy or total abstinence.

I am praying for you and your family. Take care of yourself and that baby!

 

[sweetpea8319]

I just wanted to add on to the other posters on your OP, I am an NFP instructor for CCLI, and I felt compelled to write because the predicament you are going through is so similar to my MIL’s in her younger days. My MIL had 8 kids, some cycles using Calendar Rhythm because that was what was available in her day, and other cycles just leaving it open to God in her life. During her last few pregnancies, she had terrible pregnancies with huge health risks, and at the birth of her 8th child (my husband), she actually died on the birthing table for a number of minutes from extreme hemmoraging before being resuscitated.

Due to her life circumstances with a lower paying job that my FIL worked at (and that she was the major “bread winner”) and if she died there would be nobody to take care of the kids, the doctor recommended Vasectomy. They both knew this was against church teaching, so this was not an easy decision. She consulted three priests, a conservative, moderate, and liberal one, all of who said to do it, that the sin would be on their shoulders because she was more needed to raise her family than be dead.

So they had the Vasectomy.

I can say that happily she’s still alive today, and her kids are all grown with kids of their own. But what was the cost? I believe there was great spiritual fallout in her family due to their decision to disobey God’s natural law. A couple of her children no longer practice the faith. Many of them use any number of different artifical contraceptives or barriers. One has also gotten a vasectomy. They live knowing what the Church teaches, but choose not to follow it. I believe that this in great part has to do with the fact that they know their parents choose this and so that in a way has given them permission to also do that in their lives.

Now there is much complexity to the subject that I’m not describing, but it sounds very much like the future that this OP may experience if they choose not to live in God’s love by obeying his natural laws. I am not telling you what to choose, as we are all given free will, but you must weigh your choices with all gravity and know what the possible outcome may be if you choose to let sin and temptation enter your lives. And this may very well be the greatest temptation you will face in your live, and cause you to give the greatest sacrifice possible - your life to Christ, or even your womanhood.

But if Christ asked that of you, would you give it to Him for all He’s given you???

I mentioned previously that I am an NFP instructor. It sounds like NFP has just been spotty in your life, thus you have conceived while practicing it. It’s not always the case that you’ll conceive, especially as others have said, when practicing it in the most conservative manner. You might also take a brush-up course www.ccli.org, to help you become more comfortable in practicing the method. I would also concur with the others that you can even practice it and also use a fertility monitor to help p(name removed by moderator)oint days of fertility, so you can know with a certainty which days to avoid, and thus eliminate possibility of unintended pregnancy. If you choose to be diligent, it works like a charm. If you choose to be wishy-washy, you’ll be surprised by the turnout.

With that, I wish you the best and God bless you always!

Blessings,
Stacey

Mama to 4 beautiful girls
My new website, www.glutenfreefamilies.com

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

We’re forbidden to provide medical advice, but I should note that my wife has been counseled by a high-risk OBGYN that if she were to get pregnant and there was an implantation on the scar… their usual course of action is a partial or complete hysterectomy after delivery.

The risk climbs with each successive pregnancy for women who have classical incisions, even if the classical cuts are “just” on the inside like it is for my wife.

My point is that I concur with the other posters who say you should ask your doctor about the possible need for a hysterectomy. I know it’s a seriously painful thing to consider, but it’s not some loophole to get around the Church’s teaching. Uterine rupture is not a small thing.

OP, here is something else to ask, can uterine rupture happen even if not pregnant? If pregnancy is what causes the rupture, and the hysterectomy is to prevent pregnancy, and isn’t something that would be done for a woman that is not planning on being sexually active, then the Church teaches it is not ok to do this.

GETTING YOUR TUBES TIED IS NOT 100% CERTAIN TO PREVENT PREGNANCY. My best friend’s sister just found out she is pregnant…5 years after having had her tubes tied. The only way to 100% prevent pregnancy is hysterectomy or total abstinence.

I am praying for you and your family. Take care of yourself and that baby!

 

[AngelEyes4Jesus]

I just wanted to give a small update that after speaking with a priest…he recommended either sterilization or hystorectomy. he said the reason for the sterlilization was not because we didnt want anymore children (and in fact we are struggling because we do indeed want more) bbut is d/t health issues. He said the sterilization was a secondary result to the need to remain healthy. I am going to speak to another priest as well. But he said I have proven loyal to God and his teahcings and that He didnt expect me to die on the table trying to prove my loyalty to Him,.

 

[maryjk]

I just wanted to give a small update that after speaking with a priest…he recommended either sterilization or hystorectomy. he said the reason for the sterlilization was not because we didnt want anymore children (and in fact we are struggling because we do indeed want more) bbut is d/t health issues. He said the sterilization was a secondary result to the need to remain healthy. I am going to speak to another priest as well. But he said I have proven loyal to God and his teahcings and that He didnt expect me to die on the table trying to prove my loyalty to Him,.

Exact opposite of what my priest told me.

No, don’t get pregnant if it will endanger your health. But sterilization is never the answer.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I think there is a lot of wisdom in Sweetpea’s post. I have someone in my family that had a similar situation (not a mother of 8, but “died” while having her last child, and was brought back).
I did not know her situation until a couple days before my wedding and she shared with me what had happened and how she had used very strictly a very very conservative version of NFP for all the years after her last child was born. I believe she may be past menopause right now, not sure , but I do know they did not have any surprise children after her last.

If anyone suggests barrier method, you know that not only are they suggesting something against our faith, they are also suggesting something that would be foolish to do because of the high failure rate.

Also, whoever suggests that it is either death or sterilization, is incorrect as well. There is the difficult path of abstinence that could be used if all other moral options have been exhausted. Nevertheless, if the situation is that dire that pregnancy has to be avoided at all costs, then maybe abstinence is an option, at least until you can feel that you are comfortable enough with a strict form of NFP maybe?

I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. It is easy for us to tell you the teachings of the Church, they are very clear cut, black and white, when it comes to sterilization. We also know it is the best for us, to follow the Church’s wisdom and natural law. Everything is for our good, there is no doubt about that. The difficult part is bearing the cross, and that is something you are doing and we need to help you out by praying for you, giving you our support.

Life is just a blink in the eye compared to eternity. While we are here on Earth we need to always try to do what is best, seek His will, even if it is difficult. Our actions and decisions here on our short time on Earth will have eternal repercussions!!!
Ask God to help you out, put yourself in His hands, to help you make the correct decisions. I will pray for you during this pregnancy. May it be smooth and may baby and mom come out healthy and safe.
Keep studying your body, learning about God’s design for our bodies, consulting the medical community, learn more about NFP. I pray you are able to be at peace with following our Church’s teachings, knowing God wants what is best for us, even when society tries to push us in a different directions. Following God’s will can often be difficult, a narrow path, but it is very much worth it.

 

[lifeisbeautiful]

I just wanted to give a small update that after speaking with a priest…he recommended either sterilization or hystorectomy. he said the reason for the sterlilization was not because we didnt want anymore children (and in fact we are struggling because we do indeed want more) bbut is d/t health issues. He said the sterilization was a secondary result to the need to remain healthy. I am going to speak to another priest as well. But he said I have proven loyal to God and his teahcings and that He didnt expect me to die on the table trying to prove my loyalty to Him,.

I was writing my post while you posted this.
I am so sad to hear this priest suggested this. Can you contact your local bishop? The priest is not being loyal to God in and His teachings, he is not being faithful to the Magisterium by suggesting something that the Church teaches is intrinsically evil:

From the Catechism

In contrast, “every action which, whether in anticipation of the conjugal act, or in its accomplishment, or in the development of its natural consequences, proposes, whether as an end or as a means, to render procreation impossible” is intrinsically evil:159

Sterilization is not a secondary result of sterilization. It is the primary result, there is no way around this.

ETA: Humanae Vitae

Unlawful Birth Control Methods

1. Therefore We base Our words on the first principles of a human and Christian doctrine of marriage when We are obliged once more to declare that the direct interruption of the generative process already begun and, above all, all direct abortion, even for therapeutic reasons, are to be absolutely excluded as lawful means of regulating the number of children. (14) Equally to be condemned, as the magisterium of the Church has affirmed on many occasions, is direct sterilization, whether of the man or of the woman, whether permanent or temporary. (15)

Similarly excluded is any action which either before, at the moment of, or after sexual intercourse, is specifically intended to prevent procreation—whether as an end or as a means. (16)

Neither is it valid to argue, as a justification for sexual intercourse which is deliberately contraceptive, that a lesser evil is to be preferred to a greater one, or that such intercourse would merge with procreative acts of past and future to form a single entity, and so be qualified by exactly the same moral goodness as these. Though it is true that sometimes it is lawful to tolerate a lesser moral evil in order to avoid a greater evil or in order to promote a greater good," it is never lawful, even for the gravest reasons, to do evil that good may come of it (18)—in other words, to intend directly something which of its very nature contradicts the moral order, and which must therefore be judged unworthy of man, even though the intention is to protect or promote the welfare of an individual, of a family or of society in general. Consequently, it is a serious error to think that a whole married life of otherwise normal relations can justify sexual intercourse which is deliberately contraceptive and so intrinsically wrong.

Neither the Church nor her doctrine is inconsistent when she considers it lawful for married people to take advantage of the infertile period but condemns as always unlawful the use of means which directly prevent conception, even when the reasons given for the later practice may appear to be upright and serious.

 

[The_Bucket]

I just wanted to give a small update that after speaking with a priest…he recommended either sterilization or hystorectomy. he said the reason for the sterlilization was not because we didnt want anymore children (and in fact we are struggling because we do indeed want more) bbut is d/t health issues. He said the sterilization was a secondary result to the need to remain healthy. I am going to speak to another priest as well. But he said I have proven loyal to God and his teahcings and that He didnt expect me to die on the table trying to prove my loyalty to Him,.

Some priests are going to tell you things that are against the doctrine of the Church and that’s what’s happening here. You’re being told something that is wrong, though I imagine the culpability is greater on him because he’s the one who is supposed to provide good counsel.

God does indeed ask for our very lives to prove our loyalty to Him, though that does not mean you intentionally put yourself in danger that can be avoided. That’s why I said you should ask about the need for a hysterectomy. Like I said, my wife was told that an implantation on a scar will result in bleeding during the delivery/surgery process of that child that necessitates at least a partial hysterectomy. I don’t know if that’s the case for you, but I’d ask about it.

 

[7armyrugrats]

Unfortunately it isn’t uncommon for priests to give us “permission” to use birth control. At one point in my marriage, a priest dicouraged my husband and I from NFP and told us tgat we could use the pill or depo shot because we had just cause to avoid conception at the time. Thankfully my mother was with us at the time and being her Pre Vatican 2 self pitched a fit. She get highly offended when people–especially Catholics–don’t appreciate large families. She was given a hard time for having 6 kids (tried to have more), and then became a foster parent. Hysterectomy is fine. Tubal ligation will never be fine. It’s not 100% effective, it can cause more health problems not prevent or fix any at all, it’s morally indefensible…it is self-mutilation. My sister has regretted her decision to have it done for years. The hysterectomy still needed to be done and she sent so long suffering both physically and emotionally because of it. Hopefully your priest just had a momentary lapse in judgement and a moment of weakness. I pray he doesn’t advise other couples like this as well. Yes, they are human just like the rest of us.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Praying for the OP. What a very scary scenario.

Firstly, I would try to remain calm and think of all the questions you have for your doctor regarding placenta acreta, and find out his statistics in dealing with this condition. Find out if he refers to or works with specialists, especially during the c-section, if he recommends any specialists to assist.

Also, you are mentioning the possibility of giving birth as early as 25 weeks. Please find out if your hospital has a level 3 NICU. See if you can have a consult with the neonatologist team. Find out the stats for that NICU and research other possible NICU’s in your area.

Sometimes when we receive bad or scary news it’s hard to process it all and we focus on one aspect. Try to be calm, get all your questions ready to discuss with your doctor.

I’ll pray for you. I had a surprise preemie. It’s a hard scenario. Try to prepare as well as you can.

Praying.

 

[Zelie_Louis]

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