Q regarding oral sex

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vince2paul

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Yesterday, after reading Theology of the Body made simple by Fr. Anthony Percy, my 14-year-old student asked me, “WHY do people have oral sex?”

I’ve been having difficulty to explain it to her without being too explicit. Can anybody help me?

Thanks
 
Some people feel that oral sex is a way that they can make each other feel good sexually without the consequences of having sex. They feel that it’s a way to prevent pregnancy, and in some cases avoid sin.

Explain how these thoughts are secular and go against God’s wishes. Then go on to explain how these thoughts are incorrect, that pregnancy can occur anytime you do something sexually and that abstinence is the best way to avoid pregnancy. That abstinence isn’t just avoiding intercourse, but sex altogether. Also explain that oral sex can be just as sinful as regular sex. Also how you should wait until marriage, etc, etc, etc.
 
vince2paul said:
Yesterday, after reading Theology of the Body made simple by Fr. Anthony Percy, my 14-year-old student asked me, “WHY do people have oral sex?”

I’ve been having difficulty to explain it to her without being too explicit. Can anybody help me?

Thanks
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Can you clarify the context of the question? Is your 14 year old asking WHY so much or rather is your student asking is it OK to have OS? And if it is OK, when is it OK?
 
jkiernan56 said:
Can you clarify the context of the question? Is your 14 year old asking WHY so much or rather is your student asking is it OK to have OS? And if it is OK, when is it OK?
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She is just asking why. May be there’ll be questions after I answer the ‘Why’.

I don’t know whether I can ask here, but she also said that the biology teacher stated that Masturbation decreases the chance of men getting prostate cancer. Is it true?

Btw, I’m 23 y.o. male, which is why answering her question is quite awkward… 😊
 
vince2paul said:
She is just asking why. May be there’ll be questions after I answer the ‘Why’.

I don’t know whether I can ask here, but she also said that the biology teacher stated that Masturbation decreases the chance of men getting prostate cancer. Is it true?

Btw, I’m 23 y.o. male, which is why answering her question is quite awkward… 😊
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Another question - do you teach in a Catholic or religious affilated school? That also might be a factor that needs to be considered before an answer is given … or whether one is given at all.
 
If you want to be mechanical, you can say that people’s bodies need a while to get ready for sex, and this is one way people like to get each other ready for intercourse?
 
Just tell her that it is something by which people think that they are avoiding sex, if they are unmarried ((it’s becoming prevalent in teenage years)) and which, if the people are married, can be a pleasurable way to prepare for marital love.
 
vince2paul said:
She is just asking why. May be there’ll be questions after I answer the ‘Why’.

I don’t know whether I can ask here, but she also said that the biology teacher stated that Masturbation decreases the chance of men getting prostate cancer. Is it true?

Btw, I’m 23 y.o. male, which is why answering her question is quite awkward… 😊
Click to expand...
I think you need to refer her to a well-catechised Catholic woman (familiar with Theology of the Body) who has experience dealing with young people. Preferably her mother.

A conversation between the two of you on this topic is likely to either become, or appear to become, inappropriate.

I’d try to bow out gracefully suggesting that it would be best for her to speak to mom, or another teacher, or Sister Mary whomever about subjects of a sexual nature.
 
This is NOT a discussion a prudent 20-something male teacher would entertain with a teenage female student. Best to refer her to her parents, since this touches not only on physical, but moral issues. You could also suggest the school nurse, or another female teacher/coach if she is uncomfortable having this discussion w/her folks.

OS has been minimized to the point that it isn’t viewed very seriously by teens. I think if you treat the issue with discretion and propriety, it will send an important message about the serious nature of the issue.
 
Peer pressure, (everyone else does it). Pressure from their partner, etc.
 
PapaSquash said:
I think you need to refer her to a well-catechised Catholic woman (familiar with Theology of the Body) who has experience dealing with young people. Preferably her mother.

A conversation between the two of you on this topic is likely to either become, or appear to become, inappropriate.

I’d try to bow out gracefully suggesting that it would be best for her to speak to mom, or another teacher, or Sister Mary whomever about subjects of a sexual nature.
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Exactly.

The short answer is that God made sex to feel good. Those feelings are reserved for marriage.
 
The reason why people have oral sex is-plainly put-because they are perverse. There is no reason for partaking in oral sex other than for the purpose of fullfilling a person’s sick and demented desires. It is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
 
StevenMTL said:
The reason why people have oral sex is-plainly put-because they are perverse. There is no reason for partaking in oral sex other than for the purpose of fullfilling a person’s sick and demented desires. It is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
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Most people on the forum disagree with you - because what you’ve said isn’t found in Church teaching.
 
As a 24 year old male, I need to echo some other posters and suggest you find a way to get a woman to answer her question. As a LifeTeen Core member, I know that even the appearance of propriety is key, especially around the 14yr old girls
 
StevenMTL said:
The reason why people have oral sex is-plainly put-because they are perverse. There is no reason for partaking in oral sex other than for the purpose of fullfilling a person’s sick and demented desires. It is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
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This is a clear case of those who see the world in BLACK and WHITE while others actually see COLORS in theirs and other people’s lives. I lean towards the latter.
 
StevenMTL said:
The reason why people have oral sex is-plainly put-because they are perverse. There is no reason for partaking in oral sex other than for the purpose of fullfilling a person’s sick and demented desires. It is an abomination in the eyes of the Lord.
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Oral Stimulation of Wife Permitted

“There’s nothing in the Church’s vision of the body and sexual love that singles out the genitals as being objectively “unkissable” as part of a husband and wife’s intimate foreplay to intercourse. The term “oral sex,” however, most often refers to acts in which orgasm is sought and achieved apart from an act of intercourse. Indeed, many couples consider such behavior a desirable alternative to normal intercourse. And, yes, this is wrong, even for married couples—though the clarification made above regarding female orgasm is applicable here as well: Mutual climax (or at least climax during penetration) remains the ideal to strive for, but it’s not inherently wrong if the wife climaxes as a result of oral stimulation, so long as it’s within the context fo a completed act of intercourse.” [Christopher West, *Good News About Sex and Marriage, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Servant Books, 2000), 92-93]

Nihil Obstat: Rev. Gerard Beigel, S.T.D.
Censor Librorum
Mr. Timothy J. McCarthy, J.C.L.
Vice Chancellor, Archdiocese of Denver

Imprimatur: Most Rev. Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap.
Archbishop of Denver
April 27, 2004
 
Randy_Carson said:
Oral Stimulation of Wife Permitted

“There’s nothing in the Church’s vision of the body and sexual love that singles out the genitals as being objectively “unkissable” as part of a husband and wife’s intimate foreplay to intercourse. The term “oral sex,” however, most often refers to acts in which orgasm is sought and achieved apart from an act of intercourse. Indeed, many couples consider such behavior a desirable alternative to normal intercourse. And, yes, this is wrong, even for married couples—though the clarification made above regarding female orgasm is applicable here as well: Mutual climax (or at least climax during penetration) remains the ideal to strive for, but it’s not inherently wrong if the wife climaxes as a result of oral stimulation, so long as it’s within the context fo a completed act of intercourse.” [Christopher West, *Good News About Sex and Marriage
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, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Servant Books, 2000), 92-93]

Nihil Obstat: Rev. Gerard Beigel, S.T.D.
Censor Librorum
Mr. Timothy J. McCarthy, J.C.L.
Vice Chancellor, Archdiocese of Denver

Imprimatur: Most Rev. Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap.
Archbishop of Denver
April 27, 2004

Thanks for that contribution Randy. It was very clear and precise and right on target.
 
vince2paul said:
She is just asking why. May be there’ll be questions after I answer the ‘Why’.

I don’t know whether I can ask here, but she also said that the biology teacher stated that Masturbation decreases the chance of men getting prostate cancer. Is it true?

Btw, I’m 23 y.o. male, which is why answering her question is quite awkward… 😊
Click to expand...
Where are her parents? Perhaps you should let them know that she has some questions. Or tell her that she would be better off disussing this with her parents. If you know, (not just that she doesn’t want to talk to them about it) that they will not be helpful in teaching her correctly on this, then either answer her yourself or direct her to a Catholic woman to answer the questions.
I would proceed with caution. Is this question coming up during class time and other children are going to hear the answer. My concern is, she will get an answer from you and then run home and tell her parents what you said. If they don’t like how you explained things, they could become a problem for you and for their daughter. Just my 2 cents.
 
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