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deheister
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Try “If You Really Loved Me” by Jason Evert. He addresses 100 common questions teens have about sex and relationships.
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brazenarticle
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It’s apparently common today. When I was a teen, someone mentioned the term “giving head” and I had no clue what that meant. They were referring to a couple in the car next to us. I was naive I suppose even at age 18 in this regard. I recall this was where many couples would be away from each other for two weeks, us guys leaving for two weeks annual training in the Guards. So, yes, i was just 18 and new to all of these comments from my peers, most older than I. When I got married, the subject did not enter my mind really, but when my spouse became pregnant with our first and only child, and as it got along, we started to experiment with and use oral stimulation and she pleasured me and I wanted to reciprocate without harming the child inside her and so we learned how this worked and frankly I never confessed it as a sin. I did not deem it anything. It helped us through an otherwise difficult time. She passed away about 10 years later in a vehicle accident, she’s been gone for 4 years now and I’m not sexually active but have learned there is nothing wrong with it. I still have my lovely teenage daughter and she’s a joy, but there are issues as she grows up without her mother which I must deal with that are not always easy or pleasant to play the heavy, but that was another thread her.
Let’s face it, most Catholics do have all types of sex in the marital relationship mostly with loving recreation in mind, not procreation or we’d have very large families especially if we refrained from using birth control. So, my thought is between loving adult partners, with mutual consent and in the privacy of their bed, oral sex is just fine. Kissing the mouth, nose, neck, ears, feet, hands and other private areas should not be a sin in any religion. No one is harmed physically. It’s a matter of mutual agreement. Some of this perhaps belonged on another thread as to oral sex, but it was closed as many of the best ones are for whatever reasons. Sorry if I strayed too far or off topic. I’ve had many posts removed so my batting average is about 100 and time here I feel is near an end. Best regards to all. Maybe I should give this forum up for the rest of Lent? I think the Moderators would like to see that from some of us, lol!
Blessings to all!
Let’s face it, most Catholics do have all types of sex in the marital relationship mostly with loving recreation in mind, not procreation or we’d have very large families especially if we refrained from using birth control. So, my thought is between loving adult partners, with mutual consent and in the privacy of their bed, oral sex is just fine. Kissing the mouth, nose, neck, ears, feet, hands and other private areas should not be a sin in any religion. No one is harmed physically. It’s a matter of mutual agreement. Some of this perhaps belonged on another thread as to oral sex, but it was closed as many of the best ones are for whatever reasons. Sorry if I strayed too far or off topic. I’ve had many posts removed so my batting average is about 100 and time here I feel is near an end. Best regards to all. Maybe I should give this forum up for the rest of Lent? I think the Moderators would like to see that from some of us, lol!
Blessings to all!
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brazenarticle
Guest
As to a reply to the question as to student age 14 and teacher. That’s a tough one, but someone did suggest you avoid attempting any reply which can be deemed big trouble as to what she may relay to her parents as to what you said. Obviously if she was attending a sex education class, this would be handled by that health and phys ed teacher in an age appropriate manner. Heck as I said, I had no clue as to oral sex at age 18, but today it’s all over the internet. My first adult film, called a smoker, was seen by me at age 18 in the military shown by the sargeant in charge in the barracks. It not avoidable and very shocking.
Well, it reminds me of a question my daughter had, maybe it was at age 4 or 5. Where did I come from daddy? I said, like a typical dad, not wanting to touch this one, I suggested she go ask mommy. I later asked my wife, did she ask you that question? Where did she come from??? Yes, she said, and I told her, she came from Detroit before we moved here. She said oh, OK.
Well, it reminds me of a question my daughter had, maybe it was at age 4 or 5. Where did I come from daddy? I said, like a typical dad, not wanting to touch this one, I suggested she go ask mommy. I later asked my wife, did she ask you that question? Where did she come from??? Yes, she said, and I told her, she came from Detroit before we moved here. She said oh, OK.
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YipYupYep
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Makes sense to me and rightly omits the possibility of it becoming an end all of a sexual experience.
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Gerard_Nadal
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Dude you are begging for a lawsuit or worse.:blackeye::blackeye::stretcher: :frighten: Discontinue all talk of this IMMEDIATELY and do the following.
When teaching sex, it would be ideal if you could have a responsible married couple with teen children or older, as well as one of the Priests there for the question and answer session.
In the future, when you’re blindsided by a question such as this, “Ask your mother” is the only prudent response.
When teaching sex, it would be ideal if you could have a responsible married couple with teen children or older, as well as one of the Priests there for the question and answer session.
In the future, when you’re blindsided by a question such as this, “Ask your mother” is the only prudent response.
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brazenarticle
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A question like that asked by a 14 year old girl is quite odd especially to a male teacher, especially one in their 20’s. You can’t win as to a reply. Who is jail bait, you or her? I think you, if you thought you were helping her by answering it. As someone suggests, the best response is to suggest they seek a parent’s reply or if not a trusted church counselor or better yet her family doctor or if not a clinic advisor or even the school nurse. I’d go with a flea flicker in your case if there is such a person as a school nurse today. I’d recommend the school nurse to simplify it as if they would really ask them. Let them take the ball and run with it. We live in such litigious world today and 14 year old can set us up so easily. Personally, I would write a dated memo to the principal and document the query. Time and date stamped! This will keep you clear you and convey the anxiety to the higher ups and just say, I referred her to the school nurse or the sex education teacher.
They, the kids, hold the cards, you do not! Let us know how it turned out, it’s been many weeks since your post.
They, the kids, hold the cards, you do not! Let us know how it turned out, it’s been many weeks since your post.
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Mike_Dye
Guest
I have been a RCIA instructor for a quarter of a century and of course this program is for adults. I do sessions on moral issues including human sexuality. I would answer a teen in the same way I answer adult questions. Sex outside of Marriage is sinful. That is all a teen needs to know. With adults I can go into more detail, but I would not instruct teens or kids for a million bucks. Not because I don’t love them but I just don’t feel qualified. It really takes a special person to relate to them and I am decades removed
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brazenarticle
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Well, many of us are decades removed, but this came to our very young kids in the mid 90’s, over 10 years now, with young Monica bringing this country down to its knees along with her. The children read about this and Clinton, an oustanding president was impeached at the lowest congressional level. He survived it as to the senate’s vote and was not removed and left two full terms of office with the highest job approval rating of any president of modern times. No mean feat. It was not the end of the world as to the oral sex by this woman who stalked him for many months and infatuated by him, star struck, but certainly many 14 year olds, 12 to 17 in fact, not yet on the internet in those days knew what it was about and wondered why. It was out of wedlock, exposed in the media which made it explosive. Many of these political folks have huge egos. Churchhill was one of those and some people will call them pigs, I call them Protestants! But, I know what you’re thinking…
Don’t ask me about the Kennedy’s, as some are still very much alive yet. Lucifer is waiting I guess?
Don’t ask me about the Kennedy’s, as some are still very much alive yet. Lucifer is waiting I guess?
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brazenarticle
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PS: As to the pigs comment I was quipping just in case anyone took any offense and both sides right and left wing in the USA voted these guys/gals in by the people have demonstrated horrors the past few years. These are our elected officials making a lot of taxpayer’s hard earned money with the best fully paid health care of all the land not enjoyed by most working Americans.
It make us sick to think about these people, dirty deeded, immoral or crooked as two snakes folks and some of us voted and entrusted them, tsk…tsk… Anyways, just a PS to my prior. I think we can and will do better under this new honest and open administration that will not tolerate that nonsense of the past one! God bless our tens of thousands wounded in Iraq and our 4200 plus that gave up their life under the last administration searching for weapons of mass destruction. One that meant the end of their life was a WMD to their family. I wish Democracy as we know it was possible in the Middle East but I know better. Those 4200 should never of died in that fiasco. The many religious sects in Iraq are at each other’s throats. I suspect another Saddam to emerge soon. Lots of oil money. We’ve been financing them to the turn of $12 billion a month but I suspect we’re making Iran stronger than ever and Al Qaeda has the breeding ground they’ve never had before over the past few years. Sad but true. This needs to go to the political forum if there is one here. Sorry. Forgive me. Have blessed day and ignore my drivel. I got carried away.
It make us sick to think about these people, dirty deeded, immoral or crooked as two snakes folks and some of us voted and entrusted them, tsk…tsk… Anyways, just a PS to my prior. I think we can and will do better under this new honest and open administration that will not tolerate that nonsense of the past one! God bless our tens of thousands wounded in Iraq and our 4200 plus that gave up their life under the last administration searching for weapons of mass destruction. One that meant the end of their life was a WMD to their family. I wish Democracy as we know it was possible in the Middle East but I know better. Those 4200 should never of died in that fiasco. The many religious sects in Iraq are at each other’s throats. I suspect another Saddam to emerge soon. Lots of oil money. We’ve been financing them to the turn of $12 billion a month but I suspect we’re making Iran stronger than ever and Al Qaeda has the breeding ground they’ve never had before over the past few years. Sad but true. This needs to go to the political forum if there is one here. Sorry. Forgive me. Have blessed day and ignore my drivel. I got carried away.
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MarieCB
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Well … no. Oral sex is not going to make a woman pregnant. Actually, there are a lot of things you can do sexually which will not cause pregnancy. I’m coming to realize that the RCC teaches that each and every one of them are wrong.
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centurionguard
Guest
, (Cincinnati, Ohio: Servant Books, 2000), 92-93]
Nihil Obstat: Rev. Gerard Beigel, S.T.D.
Censor Librorum
Mr. Timothy J. McCarthy, J.C.L.
Vice Chancellor, Archdiocese of Denver
Imprimatur: Most Rev. Charles J. Chaput, O.F.M. Cap.
Archbishop of Denver
April 27, 2004
(((“So Long as Oral Sex “is” within the context for a completed act of intercourse.”)))
Which for most catholics is rarely the case, otherwise the preliminaries of O.S. wouldn’t be as so important as it is presently to so many catholics. A number of more traditional catholics (don’t) necessarily subscribe to the consensus of what Christopher West boldly claims as being an absolute authority on Catholic Sex In the marriage bed. As one gentlemen already said in this thread…Oral Sex in the marriage bed can indeed lead to an abomination in the eyes of God.
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centurionguard
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They say that sexual appetites of the flesh…namely Lusts begets lust. And this happens even in the marriage bed.
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PatienceAndLove
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So- if a woman cannot climax during regular sex- tough luck?
I think not! How is that unitive? So long as the marriage act, at it’s completion, is unitive and procreative in nature, there is nothing wrong with oral sex or manual stimulation.
I think not! How is that unitive? So long as the marriage act, at it’s completion, is unitive and procreative in nature, there is nothing wrong with oral sex or manual stimulation.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
Actually, it’s the extra-scrupulous who misunderstand the Church’s teachings and insist that the rest of us believe as they do- that anything outside of missionary style sex is disordered, dehumanizing, and lustful.
Anyone with an ounce of thought in their head realizes that sex cannot be one-sided (ie: the woman never/rarely achieves orgasm) and that one-sided sex leads to resentment, which leads to a breakdown of the unitive nature of sex. And if there is no unitive nature, there sure as heck won’t be a precreative nature, since no procreating will be occuring!
There is a certain amount of wiggle room within the marital embrace to allow for mutual pleasure. If that means that the man or woman needs to help the other with a little oral or manual pleasure, so be it. God designed us with sexual bits that need stimulated. Orgasm, esp for the woman, releases oxytocin, a hormone that is ESSENTIAL to bonding. Labor naturally releases it, to create bonding between mother and child. The only other time oxytocin is released is during orgasm.
So- are you (general you to those nays-ayers)saying that a woman should be denied the ability to psychologically bond with her husband because YOU disagree with oral sex or some forms of manual stimulation?
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jkiernan56
Guest
Very good points. I also enjoyed the feistiness … a rebel like me I see … or else others might label you as such … but not in my eyes … LOL
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baylee
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OK, so I’m trying to visualize this scenario. A wife stimulates her husband (orally or manually) right up to the point of ejaculation …and then both quickly switch positions right in the middle of this so that he finishes vaginally. Somehow this seems awfully awkward and unnatural to me.
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Rico_S
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PatienceAndLove
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One does not orally stimulate the husband to the point of ejaculation. Oral stimulation for a man is part of foreplay, long before the husband is ready to ejaculate into his wife.
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PatienceAndLove
Guest
See above where I discussed the release of oxytocin- the bonding hormone
Orgasms flood the brain with this hormone, causing a psychological bonding on the base levels of the brain, thereby ensuring that the woman (for lack of better term) stays bonded to her husband.
So yes, the unitive nature can be linked to pleasure. If a woman receives pleasure while being with her husband, chances are she will seek out the marital embrace far more often, and not reject her husband on a regular basis.
Women who feel like “sperm receptacles” are usually not being fulfilled sexually in the bedroom. When a husband takes the time to “turn on” his wife, and stimulate her, she will reach orgasm easily, and sometimes multiple times. This, in turn, is pleasurable for the husband because he is pleasing his wife, and the feeling of a woman orgasming will stimulate the husband to orgasm.
Additionally- female orgasm will actually help “suck” sperm up into the womb, helping aid in conception. Yes, conception can occur without orgasm, but the orgasm will aid this conception along.
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