Qualifications for a Priest's Wife

[ByzCathCantor]

More directly to the OP, a priest’s wife must be willing to also make sacrifices for the good of a parish family, as well as her own.

A rarity for it’s time, I actually grew up in a parish with a married priest and family. The priest’s wife, who we called Pani (title of respect by custom), played a very central role in the life of the parish. She was also expected to have a secular job in order to help support the family financially. As challenging as all this was - mother to three children, leader in parish life and career woman (she worked in the financial services industry) - she exuded love and dedication at all times. It does take a special woman …

Also, many of the wives of priests in earlier times came from other religious families, often daughters of priests themselves who understood the role through their own experience and witness in their own families.

 

[Diak]

She has to be ready to support her husband and share in her own way in the unique place of “pani matka” (or “pani dobrodivka” in some places) in the parish. That even goes for the deacon’s wife to a certain degree. But she also is instrumental in taking on tasks like the catechesis of the younger children, music if she is so inclined, etc. There is also the very special place of “pani dobrodivka” with the women of the parish (my wife can speak volumes about this aspect) as outside of confession sometimes the women tend to confide in the priest or deacon’s wife about certain female things.

There is sacrificing that must be done as the ministerial needs of the parish will require time and effort from the father - sick calls, funerals, catechesis, parish meetings, etc. So the discernment for ordination has to involve both, and in the UGCC for diaconate and priesthood a separate letter of consent of the wife is required. When I had my formal interview with my ordaining bishop at the beginning of my formation, he had my wife come and talk to him separately without me in the room.

 

[5Loaves]

She has to be ready to support her husband and share in her own way in the unique place of “pani matka” (or “pani dobrodivka” in some places) in the parish. That even goes for the deacon’s wife to a certain degree. But she also is instrumental in taking on tasks like the catechesis of the younger children, music if she is so inclined, etc. There is also the very special place of “pani dobrodivka” with the women of the parish (my wife can speak volumes about this aspect) as outside of confession sometimes the women tend to confide in the priest or deacon’s wife about certain female things.

There is sacrificing that must be done as the ministerial needs of the parish will require time and effort from the father - sick calls, funerals, catechesis, parish meetings, etc. So the discernment for ordination has to involve both, and in the UGCC for diaconate and priesthood a separate letter of consent of the wife is required. When I had my formal interview with my ordaining bishop at the beginning of my formation, he had my wife come and talk to him separately without me in the room.

Fr. Loya (Light of the East Radio) has talked maybe annually about married priests, and he specifically talks about the problem here in America where we have a break in the tradition of married clergy because we don’t have girls who have grown up in priestly families now. It is often the case that priests’ wives come from priestly families so they are quite familiar with the family life of a priest. Even when you have married clergy coming in from Protestant traditions those are usually also coming from traditions where they’ve been around clergy wives and know they kind of demands that are put on the wife of a pastor.

There are also some interesting pieces on the Good Guys Wear Black website in the Clergy Wives section.

 

[Diak]

We’re very fortunate that my kids grew up with married clergy almost entirely over the last 20+ years in the UGCC parishes we attended, easily 3/4 of the parish clergy over that time.