Qualities For A Wife I've Come Up With

  • Thread starter Thread starter Ego_Svm_Nemo
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my list:

-practicing Catholic and everything that goes along with it
  • similar taste in music, movies, etc.
  • the other side of the same coin, ill be heads she can be tails 😛
  • a great sense of humor, dark sense of humor is an added bonus.
  • assertive
  • isn’t afraid to be who she is, ie doesn’t act differently depending on who she is with.
  • good at arguing and isn’t afraid to roll up the verbal sleeves.
  • witty or diabolically smart
  • loves sports
  • the ultimate bar fight partner
  • good at doing things im not good at
im sure theres more i could think of but thats it for now lol.
 
flyingfish said:
Your list makes it sound like you’ve dated some bad ones!
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The list does come from experience. I tend to move from the prince charming to the non-attractive category pretty fast, hearing the friends line a lot etc. no matter how well it started.
 
Ughhhhhhhhhh. Soooo sick of the dating game/dating theory/dating intellectualizing, including on CAF of ALL places. Am giving up boys for Lent (minus Sundays) but had to rant anyways… why don’t ya’ll just pick a person and stick with them for richer or for poorer, etc. I for one am considering joining a women’s prison. Dating doesn’t need to be an issue there.
 
dakotagirl said:
Ughhhhhhhhhh. Soooo sick of the dating game/dating theory/dating intellectualizing, including on CAF of ALL places. Am giving up boys for Lent (minus Sundays) but had to rant anyways… why don’t ya’ll just pick a person and stick with them for richer or for poorer, etc. I for one am considering joining a women’s prison. Dating doesn’t need to be an issue there.
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This was great! Very funny!

I see alot of people on these forums are having trouble dating, etc. I just don’t see it in my life. I know many people who are having fun being single, and enjoy dating various people. Some have gotten married, they’re happy, but others are single-and happy being so.

Maybe everyone needs to enjoy being themself for awhile before they look for a significant other.

Please,please,please-no offense to anyone.
 
Don’t have to worry about offence, at least as far as I go! Well, I definitely could enjoy myself more than I do now, but I just don’t like the thought, I mean why should I. Let me enjoy someone else and someone else enjoy me, that seems healthier!

Will have to focus on starting a business these days, along with a PR/marketing effort in order to make up for increased dues once you’ve filed DBA, plus, less slacking and more work, plus some gymnastics to get the physical power to pull it off. I think I’ll need some deboorisation in the form of a couple of art trips or some such, as it’s been a while. 😛 Won’t have that much time to think about women, though it kinda still hurts the lady my heart chose doesn’t seem to be choosing me.
 
I’ve been married for 4 years now and here’s what my list would be if I were for whatever reason ever to lose my husband and be married again:
  1. Someone I love enough to make sacrifices every day for him and likewise someone who loves me enough to do the same.
  2. Someone extremely kind.
  3. Someone who shares my same values and is Catholic.
  4. Someone I’m physically attracted to.
  5. Someone who shares my same ideals in marriage (loyalty, children, etc.)
  6. Someone who will work hard and do what it takes to support the family.
Ego_Svm_Nemo, at one time in my life, my list may have looked similar to yours or at least triggered some of the same reactions you’re getting in this thread. I don’t know if anyone who hasn’t been married can really understand what they’re getting themselves into when they make their vows at the altar so life experience is all any of us have to go on when we make such a huge decision. I would guess from your list that with some additional life experiences your list may change and with prayerful consideration develop into what would be best for you.
 
Owns a firearm? Eeewwwww. I would expect the opposite from my spouse. And he sure had better not own an ATV either! Yuck! 😛
 
Sorry, but still super-irritated here. Seriously, I thought MY list was long and uncompromising. Not just here, but having seen profiles on top rated (:bowdown:) Catholic dating websites, one gets a teeny bit jaded.

EXCERPT: “I like…blah blah blah…ice queen…blah blah…Tridentine…blah blah blah… fertile… blah blah blah …homeschooling…etc etc etc.”

At the risk of identifying myself, if I ever go that route, I WILL have a list of requirements that is all of four words long: “Please be morally good.” :mad:
 
What do I think of your list? I think you’re going to be single for a loooong time! That’s what I HONESTLY think. :rolleyes:
 
dakotagirl said:
Sorry, but still super-irritated here. Seriously, I thought MY list was long and uncompromising. Not just here, but having seen profiles on top rated (:bowdown:) Catholic dating websites, one gets a teeny bit jaded.

EXCERPT: “I like…blah blah blah…ice queen…blah blah…Tridentine…blah blah blah… fertile… blah blah blah …homeschooling…etc etc etc.”

At the risk of identifying myself, if I ever go that route, I WILL have a list of requirements that is all of four words long: “Please be morally good.” :mad:
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Amen to this!
 
dakotagirl said:
Sorry, but still super-irritated here. Seriously, I thought MY list was long and uncompromising. Not just here, but having seen profiles on top rated (:bowdown:) Catholic dating websites, one gets a teeny bit jaded.

EXCERPT: “I like…blah blah blah…ice queen…blah blah…Tridentine…blah blah blah… fertile… blah blah blah …homeschooling…etc etc etc.”

At the risk of identifying myself, if I ever go that route, I WILL have a list of requirements that is all of four words long: “Please be morally good.” :mad:
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Or the guys that say, I want a person who is kind, smart, caring, stay at home mom, willing to home school, but they need to look like a model. I saw that on CatholicMatch as one of my matches. :mad: Bite me.
 
I get the impression that some of the younger posters tend to look for a generic good match. I did the same thing many years ago but now wish I had put a bit more thought into seeking the right person instead of the easier options. Looks fade as well as superficial passion. While some of the traits listed may be non important there should be serious soul searching to determine if the person you are dating has long term compatibility with you.
 
Ego_Svm_Nemo, I’m sure I’m old enough to be your mother, but if I were of the age to be marrying, I would be most relieved to be DISQUALIFIED.

Betsy
 
CountrySinger said:
Or the guys that say, I want a person who is kind, smart, caring, stay at home mom, willing to home school, but they need to look like a model. I saw that on CatholicMatch as one of my matches. :mad: Bite me.
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Yep, amen to this! I was on the Catholic dating sites (actually ended up finding DH on one:)) but I remember sooooo well profile after profile either saying the woman must “like to work out” or “keep up with themselves” and I learned that was code for “you gotta be skinny and good looking”. I just laughed to myself and as soon as I read something like that I just kept clicking on.

When I found my future DH’s profile he never had any stipulations about body size or weight or fitness or eating habits. He wanted somebody who was gasp independant! I never read that word on any man’s profile before. You mean a woman who thinks for herself??!!! Be still my heart 😛 So of course I had to PM him and the rest, as they say, is history ;)😃
 
CountrySinger said:
Or the guys that say, I want a person who is kind, smart, caring, stay at home mom, willing to home school, but they need to look like a model. I saw that on CatholicMatch as one of my matches. :mad: Bite me.
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Yep, this is your generic, run of the mill guy on CM. To the poster who said put more thought into it, believe ME, I have spent MANY a wasted minute trying to avoid a bad guy. I say wasted because if they didn’t exist, I could have spent that time doing origami.
 
I met my wife at the Catholic Student Center at our college. We didn’t get married for five years, but first of all, she was my friend and she cared about me.

Yes, we had similar backgrounds. Dads are both engineers. Catholic. etc, etc etc.

The thing was, after we left college, girls I would date just didn’t measure up to her. There was something missing. Not beauty. Not something on a list. It was that connection between us that included attraction, yes, but also respect and a desire to do the best for the other person.

The things on the original list look like they were written to give the OP the best possible odds of a successful marriage (not the child of divorce, etc), but missed the most important part. You should love and respect your spouse and desire to help them get to heaven. Skinny and beautiful aren’t required for that.

If that sounds foreign to the person you are contemplating marriage with, then that is a red flag.
 
I don’t really have too much of a list, but here are some important things I look for in no particular order:
  1. Kind/loving
  2. Attractive to me (doesn’t really matter what others think)
  3. Non smoker (could never date a smoker)
  4. Similar values as me
  5. Similar interests
  6. Positive outlook on life in general
I kind of feel that when I come across the right girl, things will ‘click’ we’ll know it.

Only time will tell…
 
Yeah…No words.

My dad came out of a dysfunctional family. He and my mom worked extra hard to undo it and I had a much more stable upbringing than many of my peers did. And one of my friends, a devout Catholic and hardworking, kind girl, is getting married this fall. Her parents did divorce but she and her fiance are working extra hard to overcome obstacles.

I want a guy who loves and respects me for who I am, no matter how my appearance changes as I age or if I want to work and (GASP) we send our kids to a (good) Catholic school or (good) public school (yes, there are such things, I grew up in a state with good public education). I do work out every day…but I’m not Barbie. And I’m tempted to damage the knee caps of any guy who looks at me and considers my looks and sex appeal to be the most important qualities.

And if I can’t find him, well, too bad. Living without a man isn’t the worst thing that could happen to me.
 
dakotagirl said:
Yep, this is your generic, run of the mill guy on CM. To the poster who said put more thought into it, believe ME, I have spent MANY a wasted minute trying to avoid a bad guy. I say wasted because if they didn’t exist, I could have spent that time doing origami.
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Maybe you have the right idea, to avoid men. :cool: I wish I could be like a man, and leave women hanging, and then just walk away.
 
I am glad that somebody agrees that I am right. IF we could all become lesbians, life would be sooo much easier. I don’t have time to go into all the reasons why, CountrySinger, but for one thing, women are emotional about relationships, whereas men are callous. Women are also prettier - duh.
 
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