Qualities For A Wife I've Come Up With

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dakotagirl said:
I am glad that somebody agrees that I am right. IF we could all become lesbians, life would be sooo much easier. I don’t have time to go into all the reasons why, CountrySinger, but for one thing, women are emotional about relationships, whereas men are callous. Women are also prettier - duh.
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Men do have one use though… 😃
 
Yes, I KNOW that. How naive do you think I am? They can carry heavy stuff.
 
Does she have to play piano too?

I went out with a guy who asked me if I played the piano or had any talents because he just thought it would be great if his wife had a talent. He also wanted her to wear dresses… he’s never been married, and is in his mid-forties. I suspect it will be a long while before he finds a suitable wife, if he ever does. But that’s just my opinion.

I’ve been on CM. It’s where I met my husband. There are lots of men AND women with really superficial “requirements” listed in their profiles.

Most things in life rarely remain the same. Skinny people can get fat. Women with “great breasts” can lose them to cancer. Peoples interests can change.

I wonder if Gods list is that long?
 
missyfatcat said:
Does she have to play piano too?

I went out with a guy who asked me if I played the piano or had any talents because he just thought it would be great if his wife had a talent. He also wanted her to wear dresses… he’s never been married, and is in his mid-forties. I suspect it will be a long while before he finds a suitable wife, if he ever does. But that’s just my opinion.

I’ve been on CM. It’s where I met my husband. There are lots of men AND women with really superficial “requirements” listed in their profiles.

Most things in life rarely remain the same. Skinny people can get fat. Women with “great breasts” can lose them to cancer. Peoples interests can change.

I wonder if Gods list is that long?
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So if a woman had talents, would they be able have the talent take the place of one of the requirements? I can play the guitar, does that substitute for the fact that my oldest brother is divorced? 😃
 
One more thought.

As I understand it, one of the purposes of marriage is to help each other get to heaven.

If she’s that perfect, then what does she need you for? 😛
 
dakotagirl said:
Yep, this is your generic, run of the mill guy on CM. To the poster who said put more thought into it, believe ME, I have spent MANY a wasted minute trying to avoid a bad guy. I say wasted because if they didn’t exist, I could have spent that time doing origami.
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Unfortunately there are some who rushed into a relationship, ignored the warnings of elder relatives and are now spending the rest of their lives wondering why they didn’t see the obvious issues.
 
PaulinVA said:
I met my wife at the Catholic Student Center at our college. We didn’t get married for five years, but first of all, she was my friend and she cared about me.

Yes, we had similar backgrounds. Dads are both engineers. Catholic. etc, etc etc.

The thing was, after we left college, girls I would date just didn’t measure up to her. There was something missing. Not beauty. Not something on a list. It was that connection between us that included attraction, yes, but also respect and a desire to do the best for the other person.

The things on the original list look like they were written to give the OP the best possible odds of a successful marriage (not the child of divorce, etc), but missed the most important part. You should love and respect your spouse and desire to help them get to heaven. Skinny and beautiful aren’t required for that.

If that sounds foreign to the person you are contemplating marriage with, then that is a red flag.
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love can be born from passion but it can also be born from mutual respect. If the passion and love are there and the basis of respect are not, then the passion can fade and the love can in turn start to fade. If you are married to someone who does and believes things you do not respect then it is difficult to have respect for that person. Likewise if the person does not meet some minimum standard that you have been raised with it can become a strain. I am not talking about physical beauty but lifestyle approach. If you believe in giving to the needy but they don’t it can be a strain. If you believe family should be together for holidays and they don’t it can be a strain. If you believe in raising kids to standard ____ and they don’t it can be a strain. Etc.
 
CountrySinger said:
So if a woman had talents, would they be able have the talent take the place of one of the requirements? I can play the guitar, does that substitute for the fact that my oldest brother is divorced? 😃
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Acoustic or electric?
 
dakotagirl said:
I am glad that somebody agrees that I am right. IF we could all become lesbians, life would be sooo much easier. I don’t have time to go into all the reasons why, CountrySinger, but for one thing, women are emotional about relationships, whereas men are callous. Women are also prettier - duh.
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You’re really starting to enter the danger zone here. Please take two steps towards sanctamaria / LilyElain.

Personally, I’m dating a very emotional girl, and I consider myself to be anything but callous towards her. She is going through a tough time right now, and often times (several times a week) when she has cried on the phone, I’ve driven the 45 minutes from my house just to hug her and give her a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to.

Your beliefs that men are callous and that good men do not exist (implied in your origami post) will prove to self-fulfilling. Why would a good, emotionally supportive man be interested in a woman with such negative attitudes towards men? It took me almost 30 years to find the wonderful woman I have been with for almost 14 months now, but I didn’t feel the need to bash women along the way.

Generally speaking, the single women on here seem to me to have double standards. Without taking the time to read through some really old posts, I seem to recall that some of the women who were attacking men that only wanted to date virgins or want athletic women were evaluating men based on hair color and height. People have no control over their height and hair color. They do have control over what they do with their bodies though, from sex, to food, to exercise.

I know this is another one of my “mean” posts, by I seriously think you are heading down a dangerous path and deserve better for yourself. I wish the more frequent posters here would nip the man-bashing garbage in the bud since they have more credibility than I do.

Oh, and as far as the OP goes, I pretty much agree with what most others on here are saying.
 
NoAvailableName said:
You’re really starting to enter the danger zone here. Please take two steps towards sanctamaria / LilyElain.

Personally, I’m dating a very emotional girl, and I consider myself to be anything but callous towards her. She is going through a tough time right now, and often times (several times a week) when she has cried on the phone, I’ve driven the 45 minutes from my house just to hug her and give her a shoulder to cry on and someone to talk to.

Your beliefs that men are callous and that good men do not exist (implied in your origami post) will prove to self-fulfilling. Why would a good, emotionally supportive man be interested in a woman with such negative attitudes towards men? It took me almost 30 years to find the wonderful woman I have been with for almost 14 months now, but I didn’t feel the need to bash women along the way.

Generally speaking, the single women on here seem to me to have double standards. Without taking the time to read through some really old posts, I seem to recall that some of the women who were attacking men that only wanted to date virgins or want athletic women were evaluating men based on hair color and height. People have no control over their height and hair color. They do have control over what they do with their bodies though, from sex, to food, to exercise.

I know this is another one of my “mean” posts, by I seriously think you are heading down a dangerous path and deserve better for yourself. I wish the more frequent posters here would nip the man-bashing garbage in the bud since they have more credibility than I do.

Oh, and as far as the OP goes, I pretty much agree with what most others on here are saying.
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No, no, I don’t think you are being mean at all. Just a little emotional ;).

You are sweet to be concerned for me. 🙂
 
researching the issue and guess what I found

Every Man needs a
Beautiful wife,
intelligent wife,
caring wife,
loving wife,
sexy wife,
adjusting & cooperative wife,

but it�s sad that law allows only one wife.
 
Ego_Svm_Nemo said:
Okay, here’s a list of qualities for any future wife I might marry in the future.

Could the people who are married on this board, and especially those who have been married 20+ years as you have the most experience, please read over this little preliminary list I’ve made up, and tell me if I’ve set my standards far too high and that I should lower some of my expectations. Also, could you let me know if my standards are far too low, and that I could do much better, and should aim higher.

A lot of these items don’t just center around the person, but also the person’s family as they’ll be getting to know me and vice versa. I know it’s a cliche, but knowing where a person has come from lets me better know where they are going.

This is just a preliminary list, and I’ll be adding and subtracting things as the situation warrants. Everything in this list isn’t set in stone either, I am reasonably flexible I think.

Finally, if anyone wants clarification on some parts of this list, don’t hesitate to ask.

Qualities For A Wife

Physical Attributes:
  • Not terribly important overall. Looks will fade with time; personality is for life.
  • Proportional.
  • Exercises regularly.
  • Keeps junk food intake to a minimum.
(If I can’t look at them, and without hesitation say: “Yes, if your face and hands were burned off in a car accident I would still be by your side for the rest of your life.” and mean it, I won’t consider proposing, let alone marriage.)

Family Attributes:
  • From an intact family. ie: parents not divorced or single mother by choice (I’m not including widows and those who were dealt a bad hand by fate.).
  • Siblings, if any, are not divorced either.
  • Gets along with my mother, father, brother and sister.
  • Her family likes and gets along with me.
Money Habits:
  • SAVES!
  • Knows the difference between necessities and luxuries.
  • Little to no debt.
  • Has a reasonable payment plan to get out of/manage any debt.
  • Has Health Insurance.
  • Has a 401K
  • Every now and then maybe buys something reasonably priced to keep life interesting.
Personality Attributes:
  • Must value and expect loyalty from me.
  • Wants kids.
  • Is good with kids.
  • Agree with my ideas for disciplining children when it is needed.
  • Laughs at my jokes. (Especially the stupid ones.)
  • Does not believe in or agree with divorce.
  • Agrees with me when I say “What part of Forsaking all others, and Till death do us part, do you NOT understand?!?”
  • Puts up with my nuttier/crazier/stranger moments/attributes.
  • Must be pro-life.
Miscellaneous:
(Nice/Fun attributes to have, but not quite needed.)
  • Owns/operates a firearm(s)
  • Has a college education.
  • Agrees with most of my political opinions.
  • Enjoys similar Movies/TV shows/Books.
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Brother, I suggest you run to the confessional, then kneel before the Good Lord to recieve Him in communion at mass. At the same time you should be asking the Lord for the grace to throw away all your wants and pray for the woman HE wants you to marry.

I’ll pray for you

Your brother in Christ,
Zachary
 
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