G
gconwill
Guest
New here, Was told via a posted reply to my initial “Tell us about yourself” post to put this up here so that more people might see it. I don’t know about being “blessed” by reading it, but I do hope it might help some who have lost their initial zeal upon con(re)version to our wonderful, Roman Catholic faith see something of themselves in their own cross journey.
Hi to all and all of God’s blessings be with you always! My name is Geoff. I am a cradle Catholic who wants to deepen my faith by living it truly, giving special witness with everything I am capable of to St John Paul the Great’s call for the New Evangelization.
Some background: I was born to a large family, the eldest of six at a time when most of my peers were the babies of such large families. My mother is a cradle Catholic, also from a large family. My dad (God rest his soul) was from a very small, Protestant one. I was raised in the Church and went from 1st to 12th grades at Catholic schools. In college, I drifted away but never changed religions. Then one day back in '97, I walked into a church my maternal great grandmother had attended as a young girl, simply to see the place as a tourist might. As I stood there, transfixed by the beauty of a stained glass window, I heard these ladies saying the Rosary. It had been so long since I had heard those prayers though, I didn’t recognize them as being the Rosary as such, just sensing keenly their steely strength as one might the St Michael’s prayer, casting out demons and calling me home to Jesus. Next thing I knew I was sitting down at the very back pew for two whole hours, me and the crucified, glorified Lord having a heart-to-heart not so much in words but in such a way that I absolutely knew that our Lord Jesus Christ was indeed born incarnate, had suffered for our sins, died and rose again on the third day. I groaned inwardly at the thought of how much time I had misspent during my youth, and quickly tried to make up for lost time. I started to attend Mass and going to Reconciliation as often as possible with the thought I must become a priest. But God had other plans for me.
Shortly after this, I moved back home, with the primary goal of getting my baby brother properly catechized, taking this with a view to my ultimate judgement before God for all eternity my additional role as my brother’s godfather. I feel to this day he feels rather forced-fed our mutual religion by me, but thanks to a loving mother who has been ever faithful to Christ and his Church, has come to an active understanding of what it means to be Catholic in today’s world.
I’ve had my own struggles of course with this messianic kind of zeal I think that happens to most people, especially when they find God again after so long away. For one, after I had gotten on my knees to ask for a vocation and shortly thereafter was truly rewarded with one, I gave it all up to go on a self-appointed “mission from God” to tell a Hindu friend of mine about Jesus-in Australia! Then the day after I had gotten a successful job interview to go further with this “mission”- this time in Korea, I got my plane ticket to go back home, which I had accidentally on purpose washed because I loved Australia so. It was very vivid to me seeing the choices before me, the ticket being held in my mind’s and heart’s eye by the Holy Mother herself, telling me “my son, my son, if you go any further you will lose yourself in the world”. So I made the hardest decision in my life- to return home a la the Gesarene demoniac to be a quiet witness to Jesus and my quietly lived Roman Catholic faith.
Since then, I’ve been astounded to receive the selfsame vocation I had before I left America, but it has been such a hard-won struggle that I sometimes have to wonder where has my faith gone since. I still go to Mass, receive all the sacraments (thank God, esp for Confession), am a lector and attend weekly Eucharistic Adoration. But I don’t pray as I used to or ought, struggle harder than even at the very beginning of my faith journey to find my way spiritually in a world which seems increasingly to distance itself from God. And all this after once, when I got back home from my “mission”, I had asked the Lord plaintively, why did he call me back in such a dramatic way( in my eyes anyway). His crystal-clear answer- just to pray.
If anybody can give me a clue as to what I might could do to deepen my faith and become a real contributor to the New Evanglization, I sure would appreciate it. Here’s something I know I would like to try (only if I can do so humbly and absolutely without becoming proud or too full of myself): writing some faith-filled, entertaining fiction like G K Chesterton and Tolkien that edifies and somehow brings people closer to God and their own knowledge of Him within their own hearts and minds without them really knowing I am doing so.
Hi to all and all of God’s blessings be with you always! My name is Geoff. I am a cradle Catholic who wants to deepen my faith by living it truly, giving special witness with everything I am capable of to St John Paul the Great’s call for the New Evangelization.
Some background: I was born to a large family, the eldest of six at a time when most of my peers were the babies of such large families. My mother is a cradle Catholic, also from a large family. My dad (God rest his soul) was from a very small, Protestant one. I was raised in the Church and went from 1st to 12th grades at Catholic schools. In college, I drifted away but never changed religions. Then one day back in '97, I walked into a church my maternal great grandmother had attended as a young girl, simply to see the place as a tourist might. As I stood there, transfixed by the beauty of a stained glass window, I heard these ladies saying the Rosary. It had been so long since I had heard those prayers though, I didn’t recognize them as being the Rosary as such, just sensing keenly their steely strength as one might the St Michael’s prayer, casting out demons and calling me home to Jesus. Next thing I knew I was sitting down at the very back pew for two whole hours, me and the crucified, glorified Lord having a heart-to-heart not so much in words but in such a way that I absolutely knew that our Lord Jesus Christ was indeed born incarnate, had suffered for our sins, died and rose again on the third day. I groaned inwardly at the thought of how much time I had misspent during my youth, and quickly tried to make up for lost time. I started to attend Mass and going to Reconciliation as often as possible with the thought I must become a priest. But God had other plans for me.
Shortly after this, I moved back home, with the primary goal of getting my baby brother properly catechized, taking this with a view to my ultimate judgement before God for all eternity my additional role as my brother’s godfather. I feel to this day he feels rather forced-fed our mutual religion by me, but thanks to a loving mother who has been ever faithful to Christ and his Church, has come to an active understanding of what it means to be Catholic in today’s world.
I’ve had my own struggles of course with this messianic kind of zeal I think that happens to most people, especially when they find God again after so long away. For one, after I had gotten on my knees to ask for a vocation and shortly thereafter was truly rewarded with one, I gave it all up to go on a self-appointed “mission from God” to tell a Hindu friend of mine about Jesus-in Australia! Then the day after I had gotten a successful job interview to go further with this “mission”- this time in Korea, I got my plane ticket to go back home, which I had accidentally on purpose washed because I loved Australia so. It was very vivid to me seeing the choices before me, the ticket being held in my mind’s and heart’s eye by the Holy Mother herself, telling me “my son, my son, if you go any further you will lose yourself in the world”. So I made the hardest decision in my life- to return home a la the Gesarene demoniac to be a quiet witness to Jesus and my quietly lived Roman Catholic faith.
Since then, I’ve been astounded to receive the selfsame vocation I had before I left America, but it has been such a hard-won struggle that I sometimes have to wonder where has my faith gone since. I still go to Mass, receive all the sacraments (thank God, esp for Confession), am a lector and attend weekly Eucharistic Adoration. But I don’t pray as I used to or ought, struggle harder than even at the very beginning of my faith journey to find my way spiritually in a world which seems increasingly to distance itself from God. And all this after once, when I got back home from my “mission”, I had asked the Lord plaintively, why did he call me back in such a dramatic way( in my eyes anyway). His crystal-clear answer- just to pray.
If anybody can give me a clue as to what I might could do to deepen my faith and become a real contributor to the New Evanglization, I sure would appreciate it. Here’s something I know I would like to try (only if I can do so humbly and absolutely without becoming proud or too full of myself): writing some faith-filled, entertaining fiction like G K Chesterton and Tolkien that edifies and somehow brings people closer to God and their own knowledge of Him within their own hearts and minds without them really knowing I am doing so.
