Question about a wet dream

[ShaunH]

Last night for the first time in a long time I had a wet dream. I know it isn’t usually a sin, but I’m not sure about this time. I was having a lustful dream, and the next thing I knew, I was waking up to an orgasm. A couple of weeks ago, I confessed to masturbation, and since then, I have not once masturbated or even had the want to do so. I just want to know if this would be considered a mortal sin or not, because I’m starting to feel a little guilty, and I’m not sure why. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

 

[MissMichal]

Don’t worry. For an act to be a sin, it has to be done intentionally. Neither the dream nor the physical consequences were intentional, so I think you’re off the hook You may want to examine whether your reading or viewing material has anything to do with this, but more than likely it’s just part of being a young man.

Pax tecum,
-S-

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

My dear friend

No guilt so long as you had no say in it’s occurence and afterwards treat it like a sin of this nature and forget it. If you think about it , it could be sinful like anything else of this nature - unchastity that is. This is because if you think about it you could bring on temptation.

 

[ShaunH]

Thank you for your replies. On the subject of not being able to control your dreams, this is where I think I am getting my guilt. In the dream, for some reason, I felt that I brought on this lustful thought, like it wasn’t completely out of my control. I don’t really know how to explain it, but do you still think I’ll be fine? Or would it be best to take this up at Confession?

 

[OAKIE]

Thank you for your replies. On the subject of not being able to control your dreams, this is where I think I am getting my guilt. In the dream, for some reason, I felt that I brought on this lustful thought, like it wasn’t completely out of my control. I don’t really know how to explain it, but do you still think I’ll be fine? Or would it be best to take this up at Confession?

Mention it next time and be completely truthfull about it, even if it is difficult, and let Jesus guide you by way of his Priest.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Thank you for your replies. On the subject of not being able to control your dreams, this is where I think I am getting my guilt. In the dream, for some reason, I felt that I brought on this lustful thought, like it wasn’t completely out of my control. I don’t really know how to explain it, but do you still think I’ll be fine? Or would it be best to take this up at Confession?

My dear friend
It is impossible to sin whilst asleep and dreaming, even if you read bad things that brought it on. Reading immoral things etc is sinful usually, unless there are special circumstances, but you cannot sin whilst dreaming. In order to sin you must have full knowledge, give full consent and it must be a serious matter. You can’t do the first 2 here. No need for confession therefore. But you cannot use your memory unwisely because you’ll get temptation. If you wake up it’s like an involuntary thing and how can you be giving consent then. If you bring this on yourself when you awake then you might be in trouble though. But you did not do this by what you say so no sin, no confession, and forget it. God bless you:thumbsup:

 

[Rawb]

Shaun, I’ve had dreams where I’m sinning, I know I’m sinning, and I even go to Confession in the dream after I sin. Sometimes when I wake up I have to really think about whether or not I dreamt that, or it was something that happened last week. I used to really examine myself to see if I might have encouraged this in some way, but so far, I think I’m just dreaming.

It’s not a sin “in real life”, because I’m not controlling it. If you’re not controlling your actions, you’re not sinning.

 

[John_Augustine]

At the risk of sounding VERY crude, perhaps you should look at this differently: God has allowed you the physical release which your body will have become used to through masturbation, but has allowed it to happen whilst you’re asleep, so you’re not responsible for it. Now whilst it’s not a good thing per se, it is perhaps merciful that God allowed it to happen, because hopefully your sexual appetite will now be slightly diminished. He’s easing you into a more chaste life. You haven’t sinned, but perhaps you should say thank-you.

 

[Lisa44]

My instinct would tell me that it wasn’t ok. For the simple reason that we can be tempted by the devil in our dreams. How does he know it is not a devil tempting him? If something is a sin in waking life, how could it not be a sin in our subconscious life?

Remember, if you lust in your mind you are already committing a sin. Isn’t that true?

I often have dreams were I’m being tempted to sin. And when I wake up and examine my actions in the dream, I can determine whether or not I passed or failed a test. At least, that is how I have viewed sinning in dreams. I view it as a test.

Not, as a license to act in an immoral way because ‘its only a dream’.

 

[Lisa44]

Shaun, I’ve had dreams where I’m sinning, I know I’m sinning, and I even go to Confession in the dream after I sin. Sometimes when I wake up I have to really think about whether or not I dreamt that, or it was something that happened last week. I used to really examine myself to see if I might have encouraged this in some way, but so far, I think I’m just dreaming.

It’s not a sin “in real life”, because I’m not controlling it. If you’re not controlling your actions, you’re not sinning.

Now that is a strange notion. What makes you think you are ‘not’ in control in your dreams? To the contrary, we must be able to control our minds even in our dreams, or I see no hope for having control over the mind in waking reality.

At least, that is my assumption. I know that when I pray well, I can also pray while I’m sleeping. So too, if one sins a lot, they will sin a lot in their dreams too.

I see our dreams as being a mirror of our minds. They reveal what is hidden under conscious thinking during the day. For instance, if you are trying to be something, but underneath it you are lying to yourself, then your dreams will not reflect the lies you tell yourself, but the truth you avoid.

 

[Rawb]

Now that is a strange notion. What makes you think you are ‘not’ in control in your dreams? To the contrary, we must be able to control our minds even in our dreams, or I see no hope for having control over the mind in waking reality

shrug well, if you can control what happens in your dreams, more power to you, but I rarely can. In fact, I haven’t been able to in years. When I was younger sometimes I would realize I was dreaming and wake myself up, but I’ve never been able to change the course of a dream. Most of the time I don’t even know I’m dreaming until I wake up; if asked in my dreams I never think it’s odd that I can fly, or have a brother (I don’t in real life), or am a fighter pilot in a spaceship.

Can you control your dreams?

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Mt dear friends

Perhaps this has happened to help you overcome or avoid sin. Perhaps it can be looked at like a weaning process or simply a big help to avoid sin. It’s certainly no sin as you put it though. Our sexual appetite and bodies and bodily pleasure like this were made by God and are good and holy. We must use them in the natural way God intended though. If you got some big help you should just give thanks to God and forget it lest you get temptation.

God bless you

 

[ShaunH]

This all makes me feel a little better, but why do I still feel guilt?

 

[Kazimer]

This all makes me feel a little better, but why do I still feel guilt?

ShaunH ~

To review :

In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:

* Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter
* Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner
* Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner

Specifically, if you woke up and the deed was done, then I don’t see how the knowledge and consent conditions of this action would constitute a mortal sin on your part.

However, if you became aware (conscious) of your state of arousal (mentally and physically), continued to indulge in your mind’s play and physically completed the act of masturbation, then yes all 3 conditions for this action to be a mortal sin have been met.

What may be causing you angst is your being honest with yourself.

I would suggest that at this point, instead of looking for further opinions and reassurances from members of CAF (or anyone else outside of a priest ), that you find some place where you can review the situation truthfully.

After this reflection there will be two results :

1. Deep down you will know your ownership regarding this action.

a) You were fully aware and participated in this sin and you know what you need to do i.e. go to confession.

b) You were not fully aware and did not participate in this sin and you know that there is no need for confession. At this point, further ruminating at the what if possibilities will serve no helpful/healthy purpose ie let it go.

1. You are still not sure of your culpability regarding the possibility of committing a sin (mortal or otherwise). The solution is to go to confession and explain to the priest what occured regarding the dream and the cause for your concern.

This is the best advice I can give you , and with which I believe will lead you to the peace of mind and soul you are seeking.

CAF members, please feel free to respond to my post if I have stated anything that may be in error and not helpful.

 

[ShaunH]

Thanks for your response. I still think there is a possibility of it being a mortal sin. So I guess it’d be best for me and my relationship with God if I go to confession tomorrow morning?

 

[Kazimer]

Thanks for your response. I still think there is a possibility of it being a mortal sin. So I guess it’d be best for me and my relationship with God if I go to confession tomorrow morning?

Yes.

 

[John_Russell_Jr]

Thanks for your response. I still think there is a possibility of it being a mortal sin. So I guess it’d be best for me and my relationship with God if I go to confession tomorrow morning?

My dear friend

If your going to err, err on the side of right. Take it to confession and confess - in so far as I may be guilty - if you want. You probably feel guilt because all sins of a sexual nature are serious, men struggle with this most of all and we’re conditioned to flee anything of this nature - and rightly so. Don’t be anxious - just confess and carry on.

God bless you:thumbsup:

 

[Lisa44]

shrug well, if you can control what happens in your dreams, more power to you, but I rarely can. In fact, I haven’t been able to in years. When I was younger sometimes I would realize I was dreaming and wake myself up, but I’ve never been able to change the course of a dream. Most of the time I don’t even know I’m dreaming until I wake up; if asked in my dreams I never think it’s odd that I can fly, or have a brother (I don’t in real life), or am a fighter pilot in a spaceship.

Can you control your dreams?

To some extent yes. I am often aware that I am dreaming, and that is what allows myself to wake myself up if I am doing something immoral in a dream. In a deep sleep of course I’m not aware. But dreaming happens during another level of sleep.
Last night something made me bolt out of bed. I could not remember what it was in my dream, but it caused me to make myself wake up and desist immediately.
It’s called lucid dreaming when one is aware in their dreams. Perhaps it is not normal for all people to lucid dream. Maybe it is not possible for all people I don’t know. But I do know if the will is there not to sin in one’s dreams then God will help you. Just ask God before you go to sleep to help you.
I feel personally that it is at night when I am most susceptible to attacks. During the day I don’t ‘lust’ in my mind, but then I can go to sleep and have a lusting dream??? You know, thats not right. It shows the person that their sin, or tendency to sin, is only beneath the surface. Instead of rooted out. I don’t think Jesus went to sleep and dreamt he was sleeping with prostitutes right?
I think its right to make every effort to pay attention to these things and work on them. If, one wants to be more holy.
I think that demons can attack a person when they are sleeping. I have no idea if that is true. But I think that when you start to clean up your conscious mind and life, then where do those tendencies go? Sinse you cut off the devil in waking hours, he is going to get more shifty and start to suggest things to you when your sleeping and your guard is down.

Take the OP question. He probably wouldn’t masturbate while he’s awake because he knows its a sin. So what happened? He did it when he was asleep. That is the devil if you ask me. He wants to make darn sure that that guy sins, and putting suggestions in his head when he is asleep seems totally probable to me.

Another example. Think of all the people who think they have been abducted by aliens! Where do they get these ideas from, from when they were sleeping! They say, I awoke and there was an alien in my room, or I was floating off my bed. These things didn’t happen when they were wide awake working during the day. No, the devil is very actice at night I am afraid. At least, this is how I reason that people are able to not sin during the day, and then sin during their sleep.

Mind you, the devil won’t be able to tempt you while you are sleeping if you ASK God to protect you and you ask God to help you maintain your awareness so that you will not be open to anything unholy at night.

The devil can’t tempt anyone unless they open themselves. So pray to God to seal off your mind to any unholy thoughts or influences while you are asleep.

 

[Lisa44]

Thanks for your response. I still think there is a possibility of it being a mortal sin. So I guess it’d be best for me and my relationship with God if I go to confession tomorrow morning?

Great idea! Someone posted this link on another thread

couragerc.net/PIPMasturbation.html

“Masturbation is sometimes called self-abuse, or onanism, and in secular textbooks, “self-pleasuring.” When the psychic stimulation takes place during sleep, it is known as nocturnal pollution. Father Benedict Groeschel uses the term masturbation to denote actions that take place in sleep or semi-sleep, …”

This article was very informative and I thank the person who posted it. I think it was over on the Moral Theology pages.

By confessing it you will be on your way to identifying the problem and fixing it. Good for you for being so vigilant.

 

[ShaunH]

I’m getting a little angry with myself. The same thing happened again this morning. I was half-asleep and thinking about lustful things. But I’m pretty sure I was in good control of what was going on in my head. So as I was dwelling on these thoughts, I about had an orgasm, but I fully woke up and stopped myself before I did. Would this be considered a mortal sin? Should I go to confession again even though I went yesterday morning?