I’m getting a little angry with myself. The same thing happened again this morning. I was half-asleep and thinking about lustful things. But I’m pretty sure I was in good control of what was going on in my head. So as I was dwelling on these thoughts, I about had an orgasm, but I fully woke up and stopped myself before I did. Would this be considered a mortal sin? Should I go to confession again even though I went yesterday morning?
ShaunH ~
Allow me to tell you my response plain and straight as I would want someone to speak to me.
You’re post reminds of the saying " A little bit pregnant". I am not sure if you have ever heard of it before.
Basically, it means you’re either pregnant or not pregnant i.e there is no such thing as “a lilttle bit pregnant”.
Re-read your post.
You’re playing mind games with yourself with your soul’s eternity ( heaven or hell ) in the balance.
Take a deep breath, gather your courage and make the contact with a priest to go to confession again regardless that you just went yesterday.
Tell the priest what has been going on —all of it —including your coming on CAF ( or leave the forum name out if you want/need anonymity ) —and posing your questions regarding this subject.
The reason you need to let it all out is so that priest has the relevant information to guide you in combatting this sin, avoid self deception and take responsibility.
As a priest told me, a priest can guide you but it will be up to you to find out - in your moment of temptation(s) what your course of action(s) will be ie when the desire to sin / tempation comes do you: go to church / pray the rosary/ recite the Divine Mercy Chaplet,etc.
The devil knows your weakness and he will do whatever is necessary to defeat you.
Specifically, you need to have a course of action in place ahead of time so that you are not caught off guard as to what to do in these spiritual attacks.
In conclusion, the same priest I mentioned above offered the following reference of hope and reassurance ----What did Gabriel say to the Blessed Virgin Mary? He said “with God all things are possible!” This applies to you (and all of us ) as well!