Question about adoption and gay couples

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TheMike0012

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Would it be better for a child in an adoption agency to be adopted by a gay couple or not adopted at all?

I know that children shouldn’t be adopted by gay couples, but what if a scenario like this comes up? Does anything change?
 
My wife and I have adopted children and know lots of adoptive families, some with gay parents, and I think that it’s better for the children to be adopted into any family that meets the legal requirements and passes all the screenings and background checks. In my experience, gay/lesbian couples and individuals who seek to adopt tend to have good motives, good parenting sense, and lots of love.
 
But how realistic would that be? After all, the gay couple is right in front of the child, living their gay lifestyle. The child would have to be exposed to their lifestyle just by living with them. Further, I doubt that the gay couple would say to the child that they hate their gay lifestyle. That would be hypocritical of them.

Pax
 
I think it depends on the individual child, the other individuals involved, and the situation.

I don’t think we can make a blanket statement that in a situation like this, where each choice is less than ideal, that the gay couple is always the worse choice, any more than we could say it’s always the best choice.

However, if the OP is trying to set up an argument that Catholic adoption agencies are wrong to not allow gay couples to adopt children, then I’m not going to fault the agency for trying to uphold Catholic teaching. I’m sure there are a lot of other people whom such agencies would not allow to adopt for moral reasons other than being in an active gay lifestyle/ relationship.
 
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Probably one of the more important questions of our time, I can see both sides of the argument & there is possibly a third option. It was @(name removed by moderator) that suggested
The child has a right to a mother and a father. When a gay couple adopts, the child is being deprived of one or the other, but being stuck in an adoption agency forever means having neither.
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Then the 3rd option could be single people, those that seem to be unfortunate in finding love, marriage & life long companionship. If we are to accept that children adopted into same sex relationships is the better of both evils rather than none at all, then surely this 3rd option would seem perfectly viable.
 
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Gay couples often adopt children no one else wants. I know a gay couple (white) who adopted 2 black daughters.

Sorry, sometimes John & Jane Whitebread won’t do that.
 
As someone who knows white couples who attempted to adopt children of color, often the agencies are reluctant to make these placements because they think it’s better for the children to be placed with a couple having a background more similar to their own. In other cases, the children are not fully available for adoption for a long time and it can be discouraging to couples who don’t want to foster a child for a long time with the hope that one day they might be able to adopt - or it might not ever happen and the child ultimately goes back with biological relatives.
 
TheMike0012 said:
Would it be better for a child in an adoption agency to be adopted by a gay couple or not adopted at all?

I know that children shouldn’t be adopted by gay couples, but what if a scenario like this comes up? Does anything change?
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What the Church says:

As experience has shown, the absence of sexual complementarity in these unions creates obstacles in the normal development of children who would be placed in the care of such persons. They would be deprived of the experience of either fatherhood or motherhood. Allowing children to be adopted by persons living in such unions would actually mean doing violence to these children, in the sense that their condition of dependency would be used to place them in an environment that is not conducive to their full human development. This is gravely immoral and in open contradiction to the principle, recognized also in the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child, that the best interests of the child, as the weaker and more vulnerable party, are to be the paramount consideration in every case.

https://www.vatican.va/roman_curia/...cfaith_doc_20030731_homosexual-unions_en.html
 
The state should not place children in the care of others on the basis of religious ideas.
 
So, if a Jewish child needs an adoptive placement, you’d say it’s wrong for the agency to try to place that child with a Jewish family?
 
FiveLinden said:
The state should not place children in the care of others on the basis of religious ideas.
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Exactly. So when the government denies Catholic agencies adoptions to willing parents…because gay couples deserve children too…whose religion are we honoring?
 
Better than be subjected to the . . . moral problems . . . of a homosexual lifestyle.
 
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It sounds like you don’t know. You say it is better to not be adopted at all, like that is a better alternative. Your statement would carry more weight if you knew how a child is brought up if never adopted.
 
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Well, I adopted one child many years ago, and fostered another. So I think I’m at least somewhat acquainted with it.
 
Beryllos said:
What kind of care and upbringing do you think children receive if they are never adopted?
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You’re using a false dichotomy. How many children have been denied adoption because Catholic adoption agencies across the U.S. were closed?
 
The obvious situation that occurs to me is that a child is orphaned, his parents made provision before their death (such as in their will, or in statements to the family, etc) that they would like Aunt A or Uncle B, whom the children know and love and who is a good person, to care for the children should the parents die.

Aunt A or Uncle B turns out to be gay and in a gay relationship/ marriage, but is still the same loving and kind aunt or uncle capable of raising the children and willing to raise the children, in addition to being members of the child’s family.

Might be best for the children to be put in the care of Aunt A or Uncle B, who may ultimately adopt them, rather than sent off to live with total strangers.
 
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