Question about becoming an oblate

[Quietspace]

Hi

I’ve recently felt really confused as a big part of me has felt drawn to life as a nun. However I love my job as a teacher and also I am not sure whether I still hope to meet a husband if God brings me one. I don’t want to close the door on that option just yet.
I had never heard of oblates and now I have I am quite excited by this if it is an option.
I just want a life where I can be part of a community of like minded and like hearted people and dedicate my life to getting closer to God. But still have a certain amount of freedom to live a laypersons life… is this possible? Can anyone tell me?
Thank you in advance

 

[nunsuch]

Have you read the Rule of St. Benedict? Oblates are affiliated with individual monasteries of Benedictines (men or women), and also follow the Rule. It is available inexpensively in print and also online. That might be a place to start. If you feel attracted to that charism, then approach the Oblate director at a nearby Benedictine house. She or he would be able to answer your questions. You also might want to read Kathleen Norris’s book, Cloister Walk. She is a Benedictine Oblate (and, in fact, a Protestant).

Here is a link to the Rule online: http://www.solesmes.com/sites/default/files/upload/pdf/rule_of_st_benedict.pdf

My sense is that different monasteries offer different programs for their Oblates, so it’s not “one size fits all” (although all are grounded in the Rule). But any Oblate Director should be able to answer both general and specific questions.

 

[rom]

I am not sure if you know that there is a difference between a “nun” and a “sister.”

A nun is usually cloistered. She lives a life dedicated to prayer and contemplation. She wears a habit; she has vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, and she lives in a community of nuns in a monastery. Being cloistered, she usually does not mix with other people without permission from her superiors. Friends and family can visit her at visiting hours or by appointment, but she cannot leave her monastery. Nuns are also addressed as “Sisters,” like “Sister Anne,” or “Sister Elizabeth,” but they are technically not sisters, but nuns.

Unlike a nun, a sister lives a mixed life of prayer and action. She also wears a habit; has vows of poverty, chastity and obedience, and she lives in a community of sisters in a monastery or religious house. But she is not cloistered because she engages in some form of active apostolate, such as teaching, nursing, etc. She can leave the monastery as required by her apostolate, such as to go to school, a nursing home, etc.

You need to ask yourself what you want to be. Do you want to be a nun or a sister?

There is also a middle way. You can be affiliated to a religious Order as a lay member, such as a Lay Dominican, a lay Franciscan, etc. These are for ordinary people who choose to live in the world, in their own homes, but with promise to follow the Rules of the Lay Fraternity. Usually they have no vows, but they make a promise to pray everyday (at least the Morning and Evening Prayer from the Liturgy of the Hours), and do the apostolate of their choice. They do not have to leave their jobs because they support themselves. They can have a family and kids, and they wear no habits. I am a lay Dominican myself.

Once you figured out what you want to be, then go to the Internet and google the Religious Organization where you think you would fit. They are not all the same.

 

[nunsuch]

All Benedictines are actually nuns, whether or not they are cloistered. Also, in popular parlance, the terms are used interchangeably, even by vowed women. But Oblates are neither sisters nor nuns.

 

[CRM_Brother]

The term ‘nun’ refers to any religious sister who has taken solemn vows. This ability to take solemn vows is given to any of the true ‘orders’ as opposed to confraternities (consororities) societies and congregations. Personal approval is sometimes granted by the Church for individual sisters to make private solemn vows in addition to the simple vows taken by virtue of their congregation. In these cases, there may be some nuns in a congregation but it is an exception. On the other side, there may be non-nuns in an order, but this is simply the status of a sister who has taken their initial vows and has yet to make their final profession. In that case, the final goal is to become a nun.

Being a nun has nothing to do with being in a cloister or even being a contemplative. I’ve met fully active Dominican nuns. One is even the Chancellor of my home Diocese.

 

[CRM_Brother]

I just want a life where I can be part of a community of like minded and like hearted people and dedicate my life to getting closer to God. But still have a certain amount of freedom to live a laypersons life… is this possible? Can anyone tell me?

If you actually want to live somewhat in community and still live as a layperson, there are also Apostolic Movements like the Taize Communities. I don’t know if there is one anywhere near you, but the Taize Communities are towns centered around a monastery in which the townspeople take simple religious promises and pray in common with the monks.

There are also movements like the Schoenstatt Apostolic Movement, in which bands people together all over the world through community for the purpose of spiritual formation and the sanctification of every aspect of the lives of the laity.

 

[nunsuch]

The “Dominican nun” in your diocese is not in solemn vows. Virtually no one in the US is in solemn vows. This goes back to the 19th century. Sorry. I really do know what i am talking about. I’ve actually written extensively on this in refereed scholarly journals. ANY active sister in the US is not in solemn vows, as are a lot of contemplatives, for reasons going back to the 19th century.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

Now inquiring mind want to know. What is the barrier to solemn vows in the US?

(PS: CRM_Brother is in the Philippines. )

 

[nunsuch]

Active sisters NEVER took solemn vows–then or now. The approbation of their vows as canonical didn’t happen, technically, till 1900 with Conditae a Christo. The Normae for active sisters were issued in 1901 and were incorporated into the 1917 Code of Canon Law. These, of course, were universal regulations. To be sure, many communities even had pontifical approbation before then. But they still NEVER took solemn vows (and some communities, until 1900, could not even take perpetual vows, though some did).

As for Benedictines and enclosed nuns–who, in Europe, might have taken solemn vows–this was withheld in the US because it remained mission country until 1908. It’s a long and complicated story, but Benedictines weren’t even allowed to take their traditional vows (conversion of manners, etc.). There are a number of books on this… Only a very few communities were allowed to take these vows till the 20th century, and all were enclosed.

 

[mrsdizzyd]

Thank you for your explanation.

So, when I see communities announcing that “brother and sister so-and-so is making their solemn profession” what are they referring to?

By way of example:

https://www.opwest.org/?s=Solemn+vows

 

[nunsuch]

Some communities use the term loosely to refer to final profession. Some few actually do make solemn vows. I’ve seen both. But, at least prior to Vatican II, when “solemn vows” really meant something, there was a huge difference. Those in solemn vows, among other things, had even less say over their property than those in simple. And those in solemn vows would have a much more difficult time being released from their vows.

Also, rules on vows have always been different for women and men. THAT is an even more complicated and controversial story–too long for here!

 

[rom]

All Benedictines are actually nuns, whether or not they are cloistered. Also, in popular parlance, the terms are used interchangeably, even by vowed women. But Oblates are neither sisters nor nuns.

That may be true of the Benedictines. I am not familiar with them too much. My previous post should be taken from the standpoint of the Dominican Order, to which I belong as a Lay member. The Dominican Order has a clear distinction between Nuns and Sisters, which I described in my previous post. You can see it here as well:
http://www.op.org/en. Please click the “About Us” tab to read about the Nuns and Apostolic Sisters.

In the past the “Nuns” were part of the Second Order, while the “Sisters” were part of the “Third Order Regulars.”

I think the Franciscan Order has classifications similar to the Dominicans.

From your post, I get the impression that the Oblates are close to what we call the “Lay Fraternities” in the Dominican and Franciscan Order.

Can you or someone else tell me exactly what makes a vow “solemn” ? Are not all vows solemn? I know about “temporary vows” and “perpetual vows.” Are the perpetual vows equivalent to the solemn vows?

 

[nunsuch]

Yes, you are correct in the old distinction between second and third orders (the third orders included both vowed religious and seculars). But perpetual vows are not the same as solemn vows. Those in third orders–and in most religious congregations of women that are not enclosed–take perpetual simple vows.

Here is a brief description of the difference.
http://www.ewtn.com/v/experts/showmessage.asp?number=444723

If you want more, I can give you some scholarly sources, but they may include more than you really need to know!