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texaspanda
Guest
Can the Catholic Church tell you, “Um, no thanks, you can’t become Catholic.”
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puzzleannie
Guest
“the Catholic Church” probably won’t tell you anything if you mean the entire universal Church. Someone who wants to become Catholic ordinarily approaches the closest Catholic parish and inquires about the process. An individual from that local church–pastor, deacon, sister or layperson will answer your questions to the best of their ability, or refer you to someone, usually the pastor, who briefly explains what is involved, and invites you to embark on this journey. there are links on this forum to articles on “how do I become Catholic.”
during this process, which is essentially one of conversion of mind, heart and manner of living, there are several formal and informal occasions where you will be invited to look at yourself, your progress, and get answers to your questions, and decide if you will continue to the next phase.
Yes there could be reasons why an individual might be advised that at this time, until certain circumstances are rectified, he may not ask for the sacraments of initiation. the most common is probably an irregular marriage situation. In any case, the pastor must be assured that the candidate intends to embrace all the Catholic Church holds and teaches as revealed by God. If that evidence is lacking, he is justified in delaying (not denying absolutely) baptism and confirmation, until such time as that evidence is forthcoming.
during this process, which is essentially one of conversion of mind, heart and manner of living, there are several formal and informal occasions where you will be invited to look at yourself, your progress, and get answers to your questions, and decide if you will continue to the next phase.
Yes there could be reasons why an individual might be advised that at this time, until certain circumstances are rectified, he may not ask for the sacraments of initiation. the most common is probably an irregular marriage situation. In any case, the pastor must be assured that the candidate intends to embrace all the Catholic Church holds and teaches as revealed by God. If that evidence is lacking, he is justified in delaying (not denying absolutely) baptism and confirmation, until such time as that evidence is forthcoming.
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
That is hard to judge since we don’t know why that was said. when it was said relative to the RCIA process.
Can they say you can’t have access to the Sacraments because of the irregular Marriage situation you are in? YES
Can they say no, you can’t become Catholic because we don’t like the color of your hair? NO
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texaspanda
Guest
No one said it. It was just a general question about if someone would be turned away.
I feel it’s just my particular church that I do attend, thinking back to all the little instances. But Father just seems so stand-offish, unkind, unreceptive, and unfriendly. Everytime we have a meeting with him, it’s the feeling I get; his mannerisms, body language and questioning. It’s as if he is saying, “you don’t belong here.”
My husband, who is already Catholic, feels it too when we meet with him. It’s just kinda sad.
It’s seeming that everytime I post something about our parish everyone states to move on and find a new one. It’s looking like this is going to be another one of those instances. I suppose we need to just do it already. How does that work when one is already involved in the RCIA process at one parish and you need to go somewhere else?
I feel it’s just my particular church that I do attend, thinking back to all the little instances. But Father just seems so stand-offish, unkind, unreceptive, and unfriendly. Everytime we have a meeting with him, it’s the feeling I get; his mannerisms, body language and questioning. It’s as if he is saying, “you don’t belong here.”
My husband, who is already Catholic, feels it too when we meet with him. It’s just kinda sad.It’s seeming that everytime I post something about our parish everyone states to move on and find a new one. It’s looking like this is going to be another one of those instances. I suppose we need to just do it already. How does that work when one is already involved in the RCIA process at one parish and you need to go somewhere else?
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
I have some experience with that. I know of a parish where the initial interview with someone who has called in, has started off with. If your not committed to becoming Catholic, then come back when you are! They don’t call it INQUIRY for nothing!No one said it. It was just a general question about if someone would be turned away.
I feel it’s just my particular church that I do attend, thinking back to all the little instances. But Father just seems so stand-offish, unkind, unreceptive, and unfriendly. Everytime we have a meeting with him, it’s the feeling I get; his mannerisms, body language and questioning. It’s as if he is saying, “you don’t belong here.”
It’s seeming that everytime I post something about our parish everyone states to move on and find a new one. It’s looking like this is going to be another one of those instances. I suppose we need to just do it already. How does that work when one is already involved in the RCIA process at one parish and you need to go somewhere else?
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puzzleannie
Guest
so in other words you question has nothing to do with the universal “the Catholic Church” it has to do with a particular small group of people, whom you don’t even know very well yet, and the personal mannerisms of ONE individual, namely a certain priest.No I feel it’s just my particular church that I do attend, thinking back to all the little instances. But Father just seems so stand-offish, unkind, unreceptive, and unfriendly. Everytime we have a meeting with him, it’s the feeling I get; his mannerisms, body language and questioning. It’s as if he is saying, “you don’t belong here.”
yes, unfortunately, this is the universal Church, is is composed of sinful fallen human beings because Christ said he came as physician to the sick, to save the sinners. If you want to join this Church you had better not come in looking for perfection because you will not find it here. You will find all the full range of human virtues, vices, emotions and behaviors. Fortunately, you will also find the one universal cure for all these human failings in the person, Real and made Present, in the Eucharist and the other sacraments, in the Person of Jesus Christ.
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Br.Rich_SFO
Guest
That all depends on the pastors. We have had people come to us from other parishes and even from out of state because of a move. We generally contacted the other parish and in most cases they sent over the file with the interview and Rite history. We found out if the Sponsor wanted to continue. Yes, that is even possible when it is an out of state move. Their best friend who was their sponsor can continue by Proxy. We have had a member move away and join another RCIA and we sent their file and information to the new parish. They continued with a new Sponsor and entered the Church at Easter Vigil. A few of our team went up there about 4 hours away and supprised her at the Easter Vigil. So it can work out. We have held several Saturday 4 hour sessions so someone could “catch up”. We (myself and another catechist) covered four one week sessions on Saturday morning. But you can have a pastor that wants you to start over in “his program” or your current pastor won’t send any information. In this case you can contact the diocese if it’s in the same diocese. Since it is the Bishop who is responsible for the RCIA in his diocese.No one said it. It was just a general question about if someone would be turned away.
I feel it’s just my particular church that I do attend, thinking back to all the little instances. But Father just seems so stand-offish, unkind, unreceptive, and unfriendly. Everytime we have a meeting with him, it’s the feeling I get; his mannerisms, body language and questioning. It’s as if he is saying, “you don’t belong here.”
It’s seeming that everytime I post something about our parish everyone states to move on and find a new one. It’s looking like this is going to be another one of those instances. I suppose we need to just do it already. How does that work when one is already involved in the RCIA process at one parish and you need to go somewhere else?
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texaspanda
Guest
No one is looking for perfection. I like to think that we know Father Pat pretty well. Better than many PIP’s in our church. We have spoken to him privately on several occasions thru the past two years and sat with him in discussions and such at Coffee’s. It’s not as if we aren’t familiar with one another at all and just met.
I was just posing a question of “is it possible?”
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texaspanda
Guest
Thanks!
Very informative.
po18guy
Well-known member
You are appropriately and modestly dressed during these meetings, correct? Have you expressed reservations about certain teachings of the church? Have you disclosed practices that are contrary to Catholic doctrine? Ask him what his impression is about you. He will tell you. You could be surprised.
How much time in prayer do you spend on his behalf? Consider a Holy Hour before the Blessed Sacrament. Today’s priests have so much to do, and have the world’s problems dumped on them. Some are certainly going to be “gun shy”.
But, there is something that is causing this. Ask and you shall receive.
Christ’s peace.
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puzzleannie
Guest
again I feel unable to offer help since OP seems to be having an unpleasant (and quite possibly justified) reaction to the personality of a particular priest, not a question or difficulty with the RCIA process in general. OP has given no reason to believe this priest, or anyone else in the parish, has told them “NO, you cannot become Catholic.” If you have questions about RCIA in general and the process by which someone enters the Catholic Church, I or Bro SFO (who is the real expert) will be happy to address any specific questions, here or by PM.
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janw
Guest
po18guy
Well-known member
If this all points to Father, one thing you can do which will alleviate this situation: Pray for him. Day and night. Whenever you remember. Do not pray that he will become a carbon copy of you, but that the Holy Spirit enlighten his heart. At the same time, you might very well also ask for enlightenment yourself. RCIA should be a curious, childlike, joyous expectation type of experience. It was in my case, even though my faith at that point was akin to a newborn infant.
Just persevere and come into the body of Christ. It will amaze you what awaits you.
Christ’s peace.
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janw
Guest
We visited 3 parishes, 3-5 weekends at each before deciding on the parish we are now in rcia at that parish. None of the priest ever said anything more than good morning to my husband and I. As a former protestant, I thought this was odd as usually in protestant churches, if you visit more than a couple of times the minister will approach you with some type of welcome and hope you will continue to come back conversation. I felt a little uncomfortable about this but knew God wanted me to go to the Catholic church so we continued and started rcia. We both have previous marriages and the deacon gave us the papers to fill out. We have been married over 20 years, so I had misplaced divorce and marriage license and had to write to another state to get all this. Then I had some sickness and my husband had to go to class alone a couple of times. At the same time, my son and his babies ( both under 2yrs.) moved in with us and he is getting full custody due to drug use and neglect from the mother. So Our home and lives have been turned upside down lately. We love the catholic church very much and really like the priest and realize we will probably not be confirmed for atleast another year or so. We would like to continue the classes as we have so much to learn and it means so much to us, but I just received a copy of The Rite, I ordered myself. I did not know of all the differnet Rites and prayers to be said during rcia. We started in late sept. and the priest has never spoke with us, should we have asked for a meeting as I would love to get to know him more. The deacon’s wife teaches our class. We are late due to all the problems completing the annulment papers. I sent the priest an e-mail recently to say I was sorry we missed class and ask him to pray for us. I thought I might get some type of response. Should we drop out and start again next year? Do you think he might think we are not serious, because we haven’t completed these forms. I did try to explain to our rcia leader. I don’t want them to feel awkward if we can’t participate in some of the ceremonies, as we understand we must wait for the annulment. This is a very small parish, we have 2 deacons and I just felt a little funny that the priest has never tried to talk with us at all, more than a greeting. Should we have tried to meet with him? Please pray for us as this means more than anything to us and I felt that we might even be able to get my son to start going with us. Sorry this is so long.
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Maxply
Guest
You know, a lot of times, the hospitality at church comes from fellow churchgoers.
I think you’re got, as noted above, a problem with a particular priest. Now, he may not have anything against you at all, but I’ve sometimes received the impression from priests that they don’t want to be pushy or intrude on your reverent condition when you’re in church. Other priests are leery of folks who might be all hopped up to join, all hot to go, but who get cold and veer off in some other direction.
Hard to figure it out. Keep at it really should be what works.
I think you’re got, as noted above, a problem with a particular priest. Now, he may not have anything against you at all, but I’ve sometimes received the impression from priests that they don’t want to be pushy or intrude on your reverent condition when you’re in church. Other priests are leery of folks who might be all hopped up to join, all hot to go, but who get cold and veer off in some other direction.
Hard to figure it out. Keep at it really should be what works.
po18guy
Well-known member
I pray daily that priests will lead faithfully along the narrow path. I hope that they exhibit the fire of faith that first drew them to the Church. And we Parishioners also fail when we do not welcome a new face. They are not a threat, not a problem, they are a blessing!
Christ’s peace.
po18guy
Well-known member
Well, Christ did say that you must deny yourself, take up your cross and follow him. It’s just that we never expected to find our cross at the entrance to the church! But, the wide path that leads to destruction is easy. The narrow path is the more difficult one - that which you are currently taking. May the fire of faith be ignited with your hearts.
Christ’s peace be always with you.
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janw
Guest
Thanks for your replies, I agree about the narrow road. I have to say I believe this priest is a very devout, good priest. His homilies are great. I guess thats why I wrote the post, I felt maybe we didn’t understand something about catholic customs. I’m not sure why he didn’t respond to the e-mail, I’m hopeing maybe he was out of town or something. He seems like a very humble person. Whatever is going on with all these problems, God has given me a special grace I believe because after going to Mass everyweek, I feel close to him like I never have before. I guess thats the true presence in the Eucharist which I never had as a protestant, and even without being able to take communion, just being near him is wonderful and something I never felt at other churches. Also, I’ve seen a deepening of my husbands faith in a way that I never expected. So, with Gods help and grace we will not give up and just keep going. Just the slightist brush of his spirit is enough to make any amount of struggle worth it.
po18guy
Well-known member
Please remember that even Christ did not give His Body and Blood to the Twelve until they had been with Him for three years. RCIA is much shorter than that!
I have a suggestion: Since Christ in the Eucharist is calling you, ask when the parish offers Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament. Consecrated bread, which has become His Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity is exposed upon the Altar. It is Christ present to us until the end of time, just as He promised - and His promises are true. Go and spend an hour in silence before our Lord. You will receive many graces. just sit and adore Him, read scripture, or offer prayer. It is a wonderful, peaceful retreat from the pain and noise of our world.
Christ’s peace, sister.
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Shijo_Thomas
Guest
No body can tell u
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