Question about Catholic marriage and civil marriage

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MarthaSo

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Hi everybody,
My father in law civilly married his first wife then left her to marry another woman through the Church as well as civilly I believe. He divorced her civilly and met someone else he civilly married and is living with. So he married 3 times, the second through the Catholic Church.

He goes to Church and doesn’t receive communion because he was previously married in a Catholic Church he says. He doesn’t live in the states.

We’re not very familiar with a lot of church teaching, and couldn’t find information on the internet about a similar situation. So, we thought to get a little guidance here on if his civil marriage is valid in the eyes of God?. My husband is worried about his soul (we’re not holier than thou people and still show him lots of love -not sure why I felt the need to say that) and prays for him but he was trying to find information on what the church teaches regarding this kind of arrangement.

From what I’ve read previously on CAF it’s never our place to tell our parents “hey you’re living in sin!” because that would be super awkward and I’m not sure that’s showing agape love? But it’s his soul.

Anyway, Husband thinks his soul is in peril at remarrying civilly while having had a Catholic marriage prior and he’s genuinely worried like any of us would be for someone we love.

Just asking because we are a little confused as to the Church’s stance on this scenario. Any guidance is really appreciated. I’m sorry I have to say this but I’ve had a tough day so please be kind regarding our ignorance on this matter. Our hearts are in the right place.

Thanks to everybody here, like a second family.❤️ God bless.
 
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I’m confused - - did he divorce the very first wife?
Not to be crass, but all he would have to do is outlive the either the second or third wife, right? Then he could either go to confession, or go to confession and have his marriage blessed.
But since women usually outlive men this is a dicey proposition.
 
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You’re not the only confused , I am too! thank you for responding. Yes I believe he civilly divorced the first wife.
 
Yes, that is correct. Thank you.
edit- oh sorry I thought you were asking. Does that mean he’s living in mortal sin? Or is that something only a priest can answer? Just wondering what church teaching is on his current living state.Thank you.
 
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He needs to discuss with a priest. Has he tried to get an annulment from the 2nd?
 
My husband never asked so we don’t know. The second marriage, the Catholic one lasted probably 20 years. Not sure if annulment is possible after that amount of time. thank you for answering.
 
Annulment is possible after any amount of time. It’s to prove the marriage wasn’t valid to begin with. It’s not guaranteed that one could get an annulment but it’s good to try for that. That would make it so he wouldn’t be in mortal sin. (As of my understanding, he is but he also needs to talk to a priest about that)

I understand you mentioning not talking to parents about things like this, but I would encourage you to. In a very nice way that is not overbearing. It’s at least good to mention in and then he can decide on his own what to do. It’s because you care. I would do the same 🙂
 
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Vico said:
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MarthaSo:
the second through the Catholic Church
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So that is the only valid Catholic marriage.
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Yes, as long as this person was Catholic when the last civil marriage occurred (and if between 1983 and 2010 did not formally defect from the Catholic Church) then it would have lack of form. But when the second occurred in the Catholic Church the freedom to marry would be checked.
 
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Thank you and I’m sorry I don’t understand too well. Regarding his current third marriage, how does the Church view it? thank you
 
MarthaSo said:
Thank you and I’m sorry I don’t understand too well. Regarding his current third marriage, how does the Church view it? thank you
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Unless and until your father asks a tribunal to review the second marriage, the Church presumes it is still valid.

Therefore, unless and until he petitions and receives a decree of nullity, the second marriage is presumed; valid, and one cannot contract another marriage while both parties are still living.

As to whether or not he is living in mortal sin, that is a matter for him to sort out with his pastor; objectively it would appear to be so, but we cannot judge the status of his soul - that is up to God, and through the pastor.
 
I agree with I ke.

Is true marriage is the second one, that had been celebrated in the Church as a sacrament.

As he don’t take communion, he is aware that people who have divorced and remarry in a civil ceremony cannot participate fully in Church’s sacramental life. He also knows that is current marriage is not valid and that “he lives in sin”.

It is also a mark of respect from him to not take the communion because of his state of life.
 
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As someone said, your FIL going to Mass but refraining from Communion shows he clearly is already aware his marital situation is “irregular” and that the Church considers him to be living in sin. He may very well have already discussed this with a priest a long time ago.

The most you can do is urge him to discuss with his priest again. However, this doesn’t appear to be a case of you or your husband needing to explain to your FIL that he may be committing sin. His behavior shows he’s already aware of that and he’s apparently chosen for whatever reason to continue with it.
 
There are, I think, three places to go to get the advice you want. (1) A priest, (2) a canon lawyer or (3) a diocesan tribunal.

The only definitive answer on the validity of any of his marriages can come from a diocesan tribunal with the competence to hear his case. Only your father-in-law or one of his spouses can bring the case before a tribunal.
 
TomH1 said:
The only definitive answer on the validity of any of his marriages can come from a diocesan tribunal with the competence to hear his case.
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That isn’t true. The civil marriage of a Catholic is not a marriage and does not enjoy the favor of the law. There is no presumption of validity in such a case.
 
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