This could be a long one…
I grew up SDA but with not a lot of emphasis on Ellen White, and not a lot of anti-Catholic sentiment: I did however think that Catholics make a big mistake by praying to Mary and the Saints and by, well, doing most of the things which Evangelicals constantly criticize.
When I was a kid I lived in Austria for a while, and went into a few Catholic churches (as a tourist)… and to be honest I always felt at home in there, I felt… right somehow - at the time I didn’t know much about Catholic beliefs, but now I kinda think it was because of the Real Presence.
Fast forward to last fall, when I started having doubts about my faith… and I mean huge doubts - at first just about Adventism, then about Christianity and religion as a whole. I slowly but surely became an atheist, and even proclaimed this to my parents and my colleagues at work (which I am now very ashamed of).
A few weeks ago I… I guess miraculously started recovering from my atheism. But then the old doubts about Adventism and which Christian church is the true one came back. I came to this forum again to look for more answers, and I actually signed up to defend the SDA church from a claim here on the forum - only to find out that there are some quotes from Ellen White which I can’t possibly agree with.
So here I am, not an atheist anymore, but I also can’t really be an Adventist anymore.
The Catholic Church has always interested me, and has always drawn me closer (maybe it’s the influence of the Holy Spirit), and to be honest I don’t really have a problem with any Catholic beliefs anymore - I see it this way: if the Church has authority to decide on these matters, then what She says is true has to be true. I would also like to acknowledge the roles of Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen on the one hand, and St. Philomena (who I always felt very drawn to, even before I considered Catholicism, only from discovering the Wikipedia article about her) in drawing me closer to Roman Catholicism…
So, after looking up A LOT of stuff on the Internet about the Catholic Church, and watching Masses online, I decided that I have to experience Mass for myself, so here am I today after my first Mass visit, worried that it might somehow not have been 100% right… OCD much?
As I said, I really feel like I should go again, and maybe start RCIA as well… the only thing that’s stopping me is the thought that my father takes my “rebellion” against the SDA church as a rebellion against him personally, although that’s definitely not the case - after all, he was the one who introduced me to God, I love him very much, and we get along great… it’s just that Adventism led me to atheism, and apostolic succession and a visible uniting factor (the Pope) are hard to come by anywhere else…
Sorry for the long post (and maybe for the poor quality of writing/incoherence, it’s 1:26 AM here), but you asked for it