Question about Christian Courtship

[Shana]

There is this guy I like and chances are good that he likes me too and we may get involved fall semester once school starts up again. When I’m at University we go to Mass at the same time each week, I’d say we are more than aquaintances but not quite friends. On the way back from a trip (to see the pope in Yankee Stadium!!) we ended up holding hands and cuddling a bit. We didn’t see each other in person very much after that but sometimes we talk online.

I’d like advice about how to approach this relationship and not mess it up. My main concern is if he wants a relationship how do I talk to him about what I want…I want courship instead of dating but how do I talk to him about this without scaring him off. I’m afraid if I say it the wrong way I’ll scare him off by demanding too much too soon because courtship is about discerning marriage and I don’t want to freak him out my mentioning marriage! lol. Also how to I develop my friendship with him while still letting him know I’m still interested in him romantically?

Help!

 

[susananne]

There is this guy I like and chances are good that he likes me too and we may get involved fall semester once school starts up again. When I’m at University we go to Mass at the same time each week, I’d say we are more than aquaintances but not quite friends. On the way back from a trip (to see the pope in Yankee Stadium!!) we ended up holding hands and cuddling a bit. We didn’t see each other in person very much after that but sometimes we talk online.

I’d like advice about how to approach this relationship and not mess it up. My main concern is if he wants a relationship how do I talk to him about what I want…I want courship instead of dating but how do I talk to him about this without scaring him off. I’m afraid if I say it the wrong way I’ll scare him off by demanding too much too soon because courtship is about discerning marriage and I don’t want to freak him out my mentioning marriage! lol. Also how to I develop my friendship with him while still letting him know I’m still interested in him romantically?

Help!

I noticed you said that you “are not quite friends”. You must be friends before you can consider courtship. Get to know him better by talking on the phone, maybe go on some “outings” or “dates” with groups of friends at first. Get to know him in social situations and how he interacts with people. My daughter started dating a boy from church- he goes to mass every Sunday- and it turns out that he smokes and speaks with a more or less monosyllabic vocabulary. Not exactly the image he projected!
Maybe don’t talk about courtship in relation to marriage just yet, but more as a process of developing a relationship. Anyway, aren’t all relationships sort of precursors to marriage? Why else do relationships fail? Usually because we find out that the person is incompatible with some expectation that we have in relation to a “mate”.
Remember to pray and always follow what God is saying to you, and be honest with the guy. If he is worth his salt, he will understand what you are trying to say!