Question about confession

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child_of_God85

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Hello,

Can someone help me with a question I have. When someone goes to confession, are you supposed to go into minute detail about your sins? Say you’ve been unchaiste, are you supposed to go into detail about how you’ve been unchaste, or can you just say to the priest that you’ve been unchaste and leave it at that?
And I also have one more question, when you go to confession do you still say ‘bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been this long since by my last confession’? Thanks!
 
Use common sense. If you masturbated, say so. If you fornicated, say so. Unless, I guess, it doesn’t sit well with you. But don’t be so ambiguous that there is any doubt in what you’re talking about.

Most people say, “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.”
 
I still say “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been X weeks since my last Confession.” I don’t think Canon Law requires you to say specifically that. But I like to have some kind of segue before just diving in. 🤷

“Unchaste” is kind of generic. It could mean anything from looking at porn to committing adultery. I would be more specific than that, but you don’t have to give a detailed play-by-play.

I suppose one could even say “unchastity with myself” as a euphemism for masturbation if that makes them more comfortable as I can’t think of anything else that would refer to. But sin is ugly, so I think there’s no getting around feeling uncomfortable sometimes.

In general, though, if a priest thinks you are being too vague, he’ll ask clarifying questions. That’s my experience, anyway.
 
child_of_God85 said:
When someone goes to confession, are you supposed to go into minute detail about your sins? Say you’ve been unchaiste, are you supposed to go into detail about how you’ve been unchaste, or can you just say to the priest that you’ve been unchaste and leave it at that?
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“Unchaste” is too broad, but do not get into details unless they change the nature of the sin.
And I also have one more question, when you go to confession do you still say ‘bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been this long since by my last confession’?/QUOTE]
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Yes.
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We are *obliged *to confess all mortal sins in number and kind (adultery 2x, murder 4x, missing Mass all Sundays and Holy Days except Christmas for the last 20 years, perjury in court 2x etc) and if something changed the mortal sin…like it was your brother you murdered. (and of course one can not “hide” a mortal sin…that invalidates and brings more sin to confess…forgetting is another story --one simply mentions in the next confession one forgot such and such)

We are to give the species…not just the generic.

“unchaste” would be generic.

One would say something like…

Adultery 2x
Lustful thoughts 5x
Masturbation 1x
Fornication 2x

etc

As to the other question: one can say that or one can say

“In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit”, I am married and it has been a month since my last confession…I accuse myself of …
 
child_of_God85 said:
Hello,

Can someone help me with a question I have. When someone goes to confession, are you supposed to go into minute detail about your sins? Say you’ve been unchaiste, are you supposed to go into detail about how you’ve been unchaste, or can you just say to the priest that you’ve been unchaste and leave it at that?
And I also have one more question, when you go to confession do you still say ‘bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been this long since by my last confession’? Thanks!
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I always start with “Bless me father for I have sinned” and “It has been … weeks or days since my last confession” .

And about being specific about the sins… Ask yourself…and bring back the instance you truly said sorry to your friend, spouse or a family member. Did you just say a generic sorry or did you say sorry for what you really did and said that you should not have done or said ( the specific stuff)…

Feel miserable and ready to be miserable and embarrassed . That itself is a sign of a contrite heart… try not escape from that!!! It actually comfort the soul!!

Joe
 
While it might seem easier to beat around the bush by using terms like “unchaste,” you really need to be more specific re: the acts you did (masturbation, fornication, whatever) and how many times you did each. If there is a detail which contributed to the sin, such as maybe you got drunk and then you sinned, that might be worth mentioning. But as far as telling the nitty-gritty details, you don’t need to; the priest will ask if he wants to know more.

I usually start out with the usual “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been x weeks since my last confession. These are my sins” When I have named the last sin I can think of, I say, “for this, for any sins I may have forgotten, and for all of the sins of my life, I am sorry.” That way I’m covered if I forgot anything (which I sometimes do), but if it’s a serious sin, I still have to confess it the next time I make a confession. :o

God bless.
 
The priest at my parish gave a homily on confession a while back. He said he just wants to hear the sin, not the circumstances or how it was done. I think the 7 Deadly Sins covers about everything.
 
dachsiemom2 said:
The priest at my parish gave a homily on confession a while back. He said he just wants to hear the sin, not the circumstances or how it was done. I think the 7 Deadly Sins covers about everything.
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I think that leaving out the circumstances or how it was done does not mean that we are not specific in listing our sins.

I can understand why the priest would say such a thing. I think it can be a temptation for many (or at least for me :o) to want to explain the circumstances so that the priest has an accurate view and (in some sense) to soften things because the circumstances help explain why I sinned. But a long time ago, I started the practice of leaving off those unnecessary explanations as an act of personal humility. I don’t need the priest to “understand” so that he will think better of me. Sin is an ugly thing and no explanation really suffices anyway. But simply because I leave off the circumstances or a long explanation doesn’t mean I’m not specific.
 
child_of_God85 said:
Hello,

Can someone help me with a question I have. When someone goes to confession, are you supposed to go into minute detail about your sins? !
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just stay the common English word for the sin, noun or verb, use adverbs and adjectives only if necessary.
 
unchaste can mean a number of different things so it would be better to give a little more detail i don’t say the bless me father for i have sinned as i go to the same priest so he already know how long it’s been but for you since it’s been a while it may be a good idea or hust let him know how long its been
 
child_of_God85 said:
Hello,

Can someone help me with a question I have. When someone goes to confession, are you supposed to go into minute detail about your sins? Say you’ve been unchaiste, are you supposed to go into detail about how you’ve been unchaste, or can you just say to the priest that you’ve been unchaste and leave it at that?
And I also have one more question, when you go to confession do you still say ‘bless me father for I have sinned, it’s been this long since by my last confession’? Thanks!
Click to expand...
The priest needs to know how you have been unchaste. If you masturbated, you can say “masturbated,” or,“I’ve commited ___ acts of self impurity.” He’ll know what you mean in that case. The exact words aren’t as important as him knowing what you did in order to properly give you absolution. “Unchaste” by itself is very broad and can mean almost anything. Use your best judgement in this regard, but the priest does need to know what you did.

I still say, “Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been _______ since my last confession.”
 
I know sin is iglú and must be confessed. But something males me uncomfortable, about confessing masturbation to a man , even if he is a priest. I’d Think that due to the fact that he is only a man that would give him impure thoughts. Especially if it’s a pretty young girl confessing this sin. It seems unappropiate.? My teen daughter asked me if confessing masturbation by saying unpure sexual acts was sufficient and I sad yes. But it did it doubtingly. I just get quivers of imagining my daughter talking about masturbation with a man. I was a víctima of sex abuse as a child and know the precautions that should be tajen to protect oneself. And discussing sex acts with a man is not one of them. Please help. So confused
 
I feel that the term you used is too broad.

If it was something involving purity, such as masturbation or pornography for instance, I feel that it is ok to simply say that you violated purity and leave it at that. If father needs additional information, he will probe further before administering absolution.

If there is any doubt whether something is a sin or not, simply share the situation with father and he will advise you. In this instance, you will have to be specific as to the type of behavior that concerns you.

As to your other point, I begin “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit”.
 
Alex09 said:
I know sin is iglú and must be confessed. But something males me uncomfortable, about confessing masturbation to a man , even if he is a priest. I’d Think that due to the fact that he is only a man that would give him impure thoughts. Especially if it’s a pretty young girl confessing this sin. It seems unappropiate.? My teen daughter asked me if confessing masturbation by saying unpure sexual acts was sufficient and I sad yes. But it did it doubtingly. I just get quivers of imagining my daughter talking about masturbation with a man. I was a víctima of sex abuse as a child and know the precautions that should be tajen to protect oneself. And discussing sex acts with a man is not one of them. Please help. So confused
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Put it this way, it must be one of the most commonly confessed sins of all, among young and old alike. And yet there is no indication that priests are any more likely to indulge in sexual sin than any other profession - indeed if anything the incidence seems to be somewhat less than usual.

Yes, priests are male, but they can be tempted by many many things, as could (for example) female priests if such were possible.

Priests have been known to embezzle money, for example, or even to murder - yet I doubt anyone would worry about confessing such sins, or at least would not worry that the confession might prove a source of temptation for the priest.

And what
 
I had the same question.

I am a returning Catholic, and after many years had a lot to confess. Later was concerned that my confession was too broad, but I wasn’t asked for further detail. I was absolved and given Penance. Am I ok?
 
I have to agree that “unchaste” is unhelpfully broad when it comes to determining the exact nature of the sin. The information should at least be sufficient for the Priest to determine the act in question. So, if someone committed adultery, but didn’t wish to say so, they might say “sexual relationships outside of marriage”. In other cases, one might use “solitary acts of impropriety” or “solitary acts of impurity”. The movie The Conversation contains a confession scene in which the character mentions having “deliberately taken pleasure in impure thoughts”.

All sufficient, in my opinion, without the rather undignified nature of blurting out specific sexual actions.
 
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