Question about Confession

[SJ72]

It has been many years since my last confession and I’m planning on returning very soon. I tend to belabor over what would be considered a sin and or how to explain it in the confessional. Here is the backstory, twenty seven years ago, when my mother was dying, she asked me to split a significant sum of money with my only brother/sibling. I told him this and he informed me that she had told him for me to keep the entire amount for my then unborn baby as a gift. He refused to split it with me even though I was quite willing to do this. We divided everything else equally. I have always felt guilty for not following through on my mother’s request, but it’s hard to follow through on something he wouldn’t accept. This has always bothered me. I would feel foolish confessing this with a long winded explanation. Ultimately I feel like I didn’t honor her wishes, but it seems like we received different messages.

I have a wonderful, sharing, giving relationship with my brother and it’s never been mentioned again since that time. Am I overthinking this. Thanks for your thoughts.

 

[Joe_5859]

It has been many years since my last confession and I’m planning on returning very soon. I tend to belabor over what would be considered a sin and or how to explain it in the confessional. Here is the backstory, twenty seven years ago, when my mother was dying, she asked me to split a significant sum of money with my only brother/sibling. I told him this and he informed me that she had told him for me to keep the entire amount for my then unborn baby as a gift. He refused to split it with me even though I was quite willing to do this. We divided everything else equally. I have always felt guilty for not following through on my mother’s request, but it’s hard to follow through on something he wouldn’t accept. This has always bothered me. I would feel foolish confessing this with a long winded explanation. Ultimately I feel like I didn’t honor her wishes, but it seems like we received different messages.

I have a wonderful, sharing, giving relationship with my brother and it’s never been mentioned again since that time. Am I overthinking this. Thanks for your thoughts.

Welcome!

It is awesome that you are seeking to return to the Sacrament of Confession. There are many wonderful graces to be had.

Honestly, I think you summed up things quite succinctly with your post. It doesn’t strike me as long-winded at all.

I could give you my opinion (it doesn’t seem to me like you did anything wrong ), but if this has been weighing on you for so long, it might do you some good to air your feelings about it in the confessional with a priest. Priests are good for stuff like that.

Since it has been some years since your last Confession and since you are concerned over long-windedness, you might consider calling your priest and setting up a separate appointment for Confession (outside the regularly scheduled times). That way, you don’t have to worry about taking too long as no one will be waiting in line behind you.

God bless you on your spiritual journey. I will say a prayer for you!

 

[skippykerrie]

I feel you should let go of this guilt. I am sure your Mother is proud that she has very loving and giving Children.
You, for fulfilling her wish and carrying the guilt for all these years, and your Brother for the caring, giving and kind person he must be to decline the offer and make sure your unborn child was looked after.

There are not many people like you both around in the world anymore.

You’re both in my prayers, and God bless you!

 

[otjm]

It has been many years since my last confession and I’m planning on returning very soon. I tend to belabor over what would be considered a sin and or how to explain it in the confessional. Here is the backstory, twenty seven years ago, when my mother was dying, she asked me to split a significant sum of money with my only brother/sibling. I told him this and he informed me that she had told him for me to keep the entire amount for my then unborn baby as a gift. He refused to split it with me even though I was quite willing to do this. We divided everything else equally. I have always felt guilty for not following through on my mother’s request, but it’s hard to follow through on something he wouldn’t accept. This has always bothered me. I would feel foolish confessing this with a long winded explanation. Ultimately I feel like I didn’t honor her wishes, but it seems like we received different messages.

I have a wonderful, sharing, giving relationship with my brother and it’s never been mentioned again since that time. Am I overthinking this. Thanks for your thoughts.

You are way overthinking this.

You honored your mother’s request, as you informed your brother and tried to split it.

That, in and of itself, honored your mother’s request.

Your brother, in turn, honored you and your child by refusing the split.

It would be the same thing as if you had given cash to your brother; and a week later he made a gift to you.

If this is all that is bothering you, go in peace.

On the other hand, if you tend to obsess over matters such as this, then you may wish to speak with a priest and with a counselor , preferably both being trained in issues of scrupulosity. that can be an extremely heavy burden to carry.

 

[teachccd]

There is no sin with your brother giving you a gift. You allowed him to have it and he knew that. So, ultimately, the transaction took place without a physical exchange of money. Thank him and know that your mom is smiling to know the love that you guys share.

 

[teachccd]

You are way overthinking this.

You honored your mother’s request, as you informed your brother and tried to split it.

That, in and of itself, honored your mother’s request.

Your brother, in turn, honored you and your child by refusing the split.

It would be the same thing as if you had given cash to your brother; and a week later he made a gift to you.

If this is all that is bothering you, go in peace.

On the other hand, if you tend to obsess over matters such as this, then you may wish to speak with a priest and with a counselor , preferably both being trained in issues of scrupulosity. that can be an extremely heavy burden to carry.