Question about "family affections *warning:mature content*

[sidetrack]

.There are some young children maybe as young as like five who already like into girls and would like to try to have a girlfriend.However the following scenerio that I’ going to describe might possbily count as incest (I’m not sure that’s the reason I’m asking it on this forum).I apologize if it the question is disturbing and/or breaks a forum rule.Let’s say some a very young boy is in love with a girl (who’s his cousin).They kiss mouth to mouth and cuddle(a critical note:neither of them know what incest is and how this is extremely wrong).The boy is later told by family memebers how this is very wrong and the concept of incest is explained to him.Does this make either the boy and his cousin (out of lack of a better word) “abombinations” before God and/or is there something that they should do to like atone for this?.Thank you very much so for your time.

 

[ahs]

Are we still talking about a 5 yr-old?! Why is a 5 yr-old kissing mouth-to-mouth with a girl in the first place? Major red flag for something else going on behind the scenes regarding some adults.

Where are the parents while this is going on? What are the parents or other adults in the family modeling, as far as behaviors, for these children? How did these children learn to “love” in this way? What are they being exposed to? Is there and adult in the family that may be displaying or performing inappropriate behaviors in front of, or upon, any child?

The 5-yr-old isn’t capable of understanding the gravity of this. Having witnessed such a thing first hand in the past, I would advise you to try and answer for yourself the questions I posed above. To me, this is a major alarm going off and these two children cuddling and kissing is only a glimmer of something serious going on.

 

[sidetrack]

@ ahs
It was a hypthetical scenerio ahs.I asked it b/c I’m considering how some people sin by doing things that they dont know are sins like in this case.I’m very sorry if I upset you.By red flag do you mean that this is an extremely bad thing to do and/or I just broke a forum rule?.

 

[Tyler1234]

I would say that this does not make the two children abominations simply because they have no idea what they are doing… Most likely, they do not have any sort of attraction or feelings between the two of them, and they are just trying to act more grown up.
The parents would be right in this situation, to begin explaining incest and why it is wrong.

 

[BigFellaMick]

I think ahs meant red flag in the regard that if a 5 year old is kissing and cuddling that maybe they are being abused themselves and thats where they learn to do such indecent acts at such an innocent age. The authorities or DCFS should immediately be notified for the childs protection.

 

[ahs]

@ ahs
It was a hypthetical scenerio ahs.I asked it b/c I’m considering how some people sin by doing things that they dont know are sins like in this case.I’m very sorry if I upset you.By red flag do you mean that this is an extremely bad thing to do and/or I just broke a forum rule?.

I doubt you are breaking a forum rule with your question. By “red flag” I meant that if children were behaving that way, there is something else going on that has modeled that behavior for those children.

I have first hand experience on this, I guess that’s why I assumed this was a real scenario. I that case, adults were modeling inappropriate behavior and allowing their children (and others’ children) to be exposed to adult material/content/activity. The children modeled that and grew up with an unhealthy view of (and appetite for) sexuality. Very sad…

As to the hypothetical question…it depends. Children at certain ages do not have the capacity to understand the gravity of most sins. As they grow, so does their understanding. All Christians are called to learn the truth and the truth is written in their hearts, in their conscience. We are called to form our conscience in unison with Truth. Certain sins can have less culpability attached to them when committed by someone who may have not known, but a sin is always a sin.

 

[followingtheway]

The boy is later told by family memebers how this is very wrong and the concept of incest is explained to him.Does this make either the boy and his cousin (out of lack of a better word) “abombinations” before God and/or is there something that they should do to like atone for this?/QUOTE]

The sacrament of confession, but I don’t the Bible condemns cousin-to-cousin, just close relatives. Everyone on here correct me if I’m wrong.

God bless :byzsoc:

David

 

[TheHolyTrinity]

I’m assuming, by the nature of your question, that the kissing was of a type that simulated adults’ kissing.

Children are going to experiment and they are influenced by TV, peers, and older children. The mere fact that it this 5 year old girl has a crush on a cousin (1st/2nd/3rd??) at this age do not know that they are doing something socially incorrect and need guidance. It appears his family has already educating him on social norms. If you are talking about late teen or adults then they should know the laws around incest.

It may be a good idea to read information on child development particularly around sexuality development in 5-7 year old children - it may bring to light what is normal and abnormal.
www.mccarehouse.net/Child-Sexual-Behavior.pdf

If you suspect sexual abuse is occurring with this 5 year old then review signs of sexual abuse: protectkids.com/abuse/abusesigns.htm

Remembering that if you don’t have clear grounds for a complaint and your allegations of sexual abuse can be inherently traumatic to the child, yourself, her family and accused. Hope this is helpful.

 

[CB_Catholic]

I think ahs meant red flag in the regard that if a 5 year old is kissing and cuddling that maybe they are being abused themselves and thats where they learn to do such indecent acts at such an innocent age. The authorities or DCFS should immediately be notified for the childs protection.

Calm down–this is over-reacting. It is likely they have witnessed their parents or even other family members kissing and cuddling–as a display of affection, not in a sexual manner. Children do imitate their parents, you know. If the parents are cuddlers and kissers, which is not indecent behavior among married people, the children may imitate them. Also, at the age of 5, children are merely curious and this behavior can be quite normal. Most of the time it is innocent, not the result of being abused.

We had a case of incest in our family when I was young, and the little girl involved never exhibited any type of “kissing and cuddling” behavior with us cousins (although we did not know she was an incest victim). Quite the opposite, she was quiet and withdrawn, skittish and nervous, and did not want to get close to others.

If you are going to report suspected abuse, be sure you know what you are talking about, because subjecting a child and his/her family to a CS investigation can be extremely damaging to both the child and the family, besides taking up the time of social workers who already have a case overload, while the real cases of abuse go on unchecked. You just don’t go around making these accusations willy-nilly.

There are also many good articles on what is normal developmental behavior in young children–people who are parents or thinking of becoming parents should read them, they are very helpful in allaying fears and dispelling myths.

 

[puzzleannie]

@.I asked it b/c I’m considering how some people sin by doing things that they dont know are sins like in this case…

nobody sins by doing something they don’t know is sinful
sin requires matter, an action that is objectively sinful
full knowledge
full free will consent
by definition a 5 year old is not old enough for either full knowledge of right and wrong, let along an objective sexual sin, and not old enough to give free will consent.

Even if you were 50 and did not know the action was sinful you would not be guilty

 

[John21652]

gee, when I was a little tacker, catching ‘girl germs’ was a nightmare scenario that kept us all safe. It took years to develop an immunity.

 

[Dakota_Roberts]

.There are some young children maybe as young as like five who already like into girls and would like to try to have a girlfriend.However the following scenerio that I’ going to describe might possbily count as incest (I’m not sure that’s the reason I’m asking it on this forum).I apologize if it the question is disturbing and/or breaks a forum rule.Let’s say some a very young boy is in love with a girl (who’s his cousin).They kiss mouth to mouth and cuddle(a critical note:neither of them know what incest is and how this is extremely wrong).The boy is later told by family memebers how this is very wrong and the concept of incest is explained to him.Does this make either the boy and his cousin (out of lack of a better word) “abombinations” before God and/or is there something that they should do to like atone for this?.Thank you very much so for your time.

Something is wrong, he kissing a “girl” everyone knows girls have cooties :sad_yes:

The foot should definitely be put down, if they’ve seen “more adult stuff” they might try it which is definitely going to screw them up for life

 

[Catholic90]

I think ahs meant red flag in the regard that if a 5 year old is kissing and cuddling that maybe they are being abused themselves and thats where they learn to do such indecent acts at such an innocent age. ** The authorities or DCFS should immediately be notified for the childs protection**.

Slow down! We know nothing more than 2 kids were affectionate with each other. To contact DCFS without more facts will do more harm than good.

 

[Mary_Gail_36]

Slow down! We know nothing more than 2 kids were affectionate with each other. To contact DCFS without more facts will do more harm than good.

I agree. They are little children.

I think the adults are over reacting and giving culpability to these poor kids that they are not capable of.

My DD kissed a boy on the mouth in pre-k. I told her to not do that because she could catch a cold.

 

[puzzleannie]

you do understand that in some cultures and ethnic background for family members to kiss on the mouth is entirely normal and acceptable and has no sexual connotation whatever. In fact, that is normal, only our own sex saturated society defines normal by standards that have become perverted.