Question about fasting

[Schieffelin]

Anyone else fasting for the Dormition? I hope it is going well for you

I try to keep the strict fast as much as possible during fasting seasons. The problem is that I work in an environment where it’s common to be invited out to lunch, offered a cupcake, a latte, etc. rather frequently. This puts me in the position of frequently saying “no” to people who are trying to be generous. I know sometimes you can break your fast for the sake of charity, but if I made exceptions at work I would be breaking my fast all the time.

The most awkward times are when I need to go out for lunch with a group of colleagues and it’s painfully obvious to everyone that I’m ordering rice and beans or a salad at a burger place, for example. Usually when the questions start I’m just pretty honest and say something like “I’m on a special diet for religious reasons right now.” Sometimes it leads to a good discussion and a chance to share a glimpse of the gospel. But other times it makes me uncomfortable because people will start praising me for doing something so “difficult.” I don’t want the praise and I don’t want to come off as bragging to people. It feels like a distraction to the spirit of the fast for me. I wish I could just keep it private.

What do you all do in these situations?

 

[Cavaradossi]

Anyone else fasting for the Dormition? I hope it is going well for you

I try to keep the strict fast as much as possible during fasting seasons. The problem is that I work in an environment where it’s common to be invited out to lunch, offered a cupcake, a latte, etc. rather frequently. This puts me in the position of frequently saying “no” to people who are trying to be generous. I know sometimes you can break your fast for the sake of charity, but if I made exceptions at work I would be breaking my fast all the time.

The most awkward times are when I need to go out for lunch with a group of colleagues and it’s painfully obvious to everyone that I’m ordering rice and beans or a salad at a burger place, for example. Usually when the questions start I’m just pretty honest and say something like “I’m on a special diet for religious reasons right now.” Sometimes it leads to a good discussion and a chance to share a glimpse of the gospel. But other times it makes me uncomfortable because people will start praising me for doing something so “difficult.” I don’t want the praise and I don’t want to come off as bragging to people. It feels like a distraction to the spirit of the fast for me. I wish I could just keep it private.

What do you all do in these situations?

Have you consulted your priest? I know this line is often repeated, but at my Church, we are always told that fasting should be done under the guidance of one’s spiritual father, just as adopting a prayer rule should be done under the guidance of one’s spiritual father as well.

 

[Schieffelin]

Have you consulted your priest? I know this line is often repeated, but at my Church, we are always told that fasting should be done under the guidance of one’s spiritual father, just as adopting a prayer rule should be done under the guidance of one’s spiritual father as well.

Do you mean consult him about what I should say to my co-workers? Or just about fasting in general?

I was just wondering if there is any general rule of thumb or practice which says you should keep your fasting private? And if not, then how do others approach it? But if it’s just a very individual situation then I will ask my priest like you suggest.

 

[Rawb]

I’m not fasting yet - my parish is on the Old Calendar. My priest gripes about how he wishes we’d get on the new

Anyway I was always told it is a greater sin to refuse a polite offer of a forbidden food during a fasting period than it is to break the fast. If someone offers you a cheeseburger then it’s rude to refuse.

At the same time I get what you’re saying; it’s basically not fasting if you’re constantly accepting food. You might try vague comments? For instance, I once did something that I knew I would be praised for if others saw it, so when people ask me about it I say it was a gift. This is true, it’s a gift from the Holy Spirit, but it deflects me from getting praise. During fasting if someone mentions something about your diet you can pat your stomach and say “gotta keep this under control”. They might assume you’re referring to your weight, you’re actually referring to your passions.

 

[rowlands]

The most awkward times are when I need to go out for lunch with a group of colleagues and it’s painfully obvious to everyone that I’m ordering rice and beans or a salad at a burger place, for example.

Just say “It looks very nice and it’s just what I fancy right now”

 

[Schieffelin]

I’m not fasting yet - my parish is on the Old Calendar. My priest gripes about how he wishes we’d get on the new

Anyway I was always told it is a greater sin to refuse a polite offer of a forbidden food during a fasting period than it is to break the fast. If someone offers you a cheeseburger then it’s rude to refuse.

At the same time I get what you’re saying; it’s basically not fasting if you’re constantly accepting food. You might try vague comments? For instance, I once did something that I knew I would be praised for if others saw it, so when people ask me about it I say it was a gift. This is true, it’s a gift from the Holy Spirit, but it deflects me from getting praise. During fasting if someone mentions something about your diet you can pat your stomach and say “gotta keep this under control”. They might assume you’re referring to your weight, you’re actually referring to your passions.

Thanks for the advice. I’ve tried going the vague route and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. The only downside to getting along so well with coworkers is that everyone knows your business and feels comfortable asking follow-up questions, haha. Fortunately, some of them kind of “get it” now that I do these periodic fasts and it doesn’t offend or affect them at all. With the others I’ll just have to keep playing it by ear I guess.

I just really want to be able to keep my fast but it’s very very hard in this environment

 

[Rawb]

Thanks for the advice. I’ve tried going the vague route and sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. The only downside to getting along so well with coworkers is that everyone knows your business and feels comfortable asking follow-up questions, haha. Fortunately, some of them kind of “get it” now that I do these periodic fasts and it doesn’t offend or affect them at all. With the others I’ll just have to keep playing it by ear I guess.

I just really want to be able to keep my fast but it’s very very hard in this environment

Very hard? Your fast will be that much more beneficial!

 

[Schieffelin]

Very hard? Your fast will be that much more beneficial!

Well, yes, that’s the best way to look at it I suppose
I didn’t mean hard as in “poor me I can’t stay away from temptations” but more like it’s hard to keep saying no to people or coming up with flimsy excuses which I know they don’t believe. But I suppose that can all be part of the purification process

 

[5Loaves]

Anyone else fasting for the Dormition? I hope it is going well for you

Since Vespers Sunday Going well after only 2 days LOL. On our calendar we have 3 days with fish allowed and it’s a very short fast anyway.

I try to keep the strict fast as much as possible during fasting seasons. The problem is that I work… offered a cupcake, a latte, etc. rather frequently. This puts me in the position of frequently saying “no” to people who are trying to be generous…

…The most awkward times are when I need to go out for lunch with a group of colleagues and it’s painfully obvious to everyone that I’m ordering rice and beans or a salad at a burger place, for example. Usually when the questions start I’m just pretty honest and say something like “I’m on a special diet for religious reasons right now.” Sometimes it leads to a good discussion and a chance to share a glimpse of the gospel. But other times it makes me uncomfortable because people will start praising me for doing something so “difficult.” I don’t want the praise and I don’t want to come off as bragging to people. It feels like a distraction to the spirit of the fast for me. I wish I could just keep it private.

What do you all do in these situations?

I think you should just “own it”. I don’t mean you make a big deal of it, but you said you tell them “I’m on a special diet for religious reasons right now.” That seems perfect. It’s Ramadan right now. How many of these folks would be grilling a Muslim about their not eating during Ramadan? And so many people have other food restrictions- gluten intolerance, diabetes etc.

I go out to coffee most week days mornings after 8AM Mass with my peeps. This is how I stay connected to that Latin parish. This group knows about our EC fasting because we’re together many Wed/Fri and I have turned down offers those days. They don’t necessarily know when I’m abstaining. One elderly fellow, who loves to buy for us is forever trying to get me quiche etc and when it’s a Wed or Fri or an extended fast like now, I just tease him and say “no dairy, no eggs”. I no longer feel any discomfort about it.

I live in the SF Bay where we have so many vegetarians and vegans no one would blink an eye at someone ordering rice and beans at a burger joint. The one I often go to with another group has falafel and I order it. That’s a group with other ECs and Orthodox and some of them have veggie burgers, which every burger place around here has on the menu.

Is there any one in your office group who seems to “get it”? If so maybe you can ask them for their feedback on the best way to speak about it. Maybe you can ask them to be your buddy helping others to let it go.

Most people don’t get what Eastern and Oriental Catholics are, so in some situations where something like this is related to our faith tradition rather than try to explain who we are I might just say "I’m an Orthodox Christian and… (we abstain from certain foods leading up to a feast day, or whatever). Many if not most people do know there are Orthodox Christians, even though they probably really don’t in fact know who the Orthodox are either. LOL

When I was a kid everyone, Christian, Jew, Buddahist, Muslim, athiest… knew that “Catholics don’t eat meat on Fridays” and knew something vague about their “Feastdays”… like that was some special day for Catholics so they have to go to church etc… No body blinked an eye or fussed about it. Now in our culture in the US I plenty of people have know idea what “abstaining” from a food would be or what a Feastday might be. That makes it a little harder. On the other hand with all the vegetarians, and vegans there are now, and eating low on the food chain etc. that makes it easier for some people to get why you/we have a special diet sometimes.

I think it’s great you are following the fasting tradition in whatever ways you can and looking at how to do it in a way that brings you closer to our Lord, not drawing attention to yourself. If people feel like commenting on you doing something “difficult” well that’s about them. There’s nothing wrong I think with people having their attention brought to the idea that there are people in the world with disciplines that are faith directed, not just fitness directed. You’ve experienced some good conversations come out of it you say. We don’t fast for others to see it, however I don’t think that means the Lord could not allow it to serve as a means of evangelization if He choses that at times.

FYI I follow the guidelines for fasting for my Church but I don’t worry about oil. One reason, maybe to main reason, I’ve seen different teachings, we don’t use olive oil is because it used to be stored in animal skins, so it would be contaminated by animal product with we are abstaining from. It’s not stored that way now. I don’t seek it, but in something like falafel I would be getting some oil.

I think fasting is one of the great gifts of our tradition.
P.S.
I find Fr. Schmemann’s writing about fasting very helpful. Here is one place where his writing on fasting is available on line. He also addresses the other component of fasting, ascetical fasting. I love his book Great Lent: Journey to Pascha. Most of the pages of the sections on fasting are here on google books but unfortunately there are 3 or 4 pages taken out.

 

[Schieffelin]

Since Vespers Sunday Going well after only 2 days LOL. On our calendar we have 3 days with fish allowed and it’s a very short fast anyway.

I think you should just “own it”. I don’t mean you make a big deal of it, but you said you tell them “I’m on a special diet for religious reasons right now.” That seems perfect. It’s Ramadan right now. How many of these folks would be grilling a Muslim about their not eating during Ramadan? And so many people have other food restrictions- gluten intolerance, diabetes etc.

I go out to coffee most week days mornings after 8AM Mass with my peeps. This is how I stay connected to that Latin parish. This group knows about our EC fasting because we’re together many Wed/Fri and I have turned down offers those days. They don’t necessarily know when I’m abstaining. One elderly fellow, who loves to buy for us is forever trying to get me quiche etc and when it’s a Wed or Fri or an extended fast like now, I just tease him and say “no dairy, no eggs”. I no longer feel any discomfort about it.

I live in the SF Bay where we have so many vegetarians and vegans no one would blink an eye at someone ordering rice and beans at a burger joint. The one I often go to with another group has falafel and I order it. That’s a group with other ECs and Orthodox and some of them have veggie burgers, which every burger place around here has on the menu.

Is there any one in your office group who seems to “get it”? If so maybe you can ask them for their feedback on the best way to speak about it. Maybe you can ask them to be your buddy helping others to let it go.

Most people don’t get what Eastern and Oriental Catholics are, so in some situations where something like this is related to our faith tradition rather than try to explain who we are I might just say "I’m an Orthodox Christian and… (we abstain from certain foods leading up to a feast day, or whatever). Many if not most people do know there are Orthodox Christians, even though they probably really don’t in fact know who the Orthodox are either. LOL

When I was a kid everyone, Christian, Jew, Buddahist, Muslim, athiest… knew that “Catholics don’t eat meat on Fridays” and knew something vague about their “Feastdays”… like that was some special day for Catholics so they have to go to church etc… No body blinked an eye or fussed about it. Now in our culture in the US I plenty of people have know idea what “abstaining” from a food would be or what a Feastday might be. That makes it a little harder. On the other hand with all the vegetarians, and vegans there are now, and eating low on the food chain etc. that makes it easier for some people to get why you/we have a special diet sometimes.

I think it’s great you are following the fasting tradition in whatever ways you can and looking at how to do it in a way that brings you closer to our Lord, not drawing attention to yourself. If people feel like commenting on you doing something “difficult” well that’s about them. There’s nothing wrong I think with people having their attention brought to the idea that there are people in the world with disciplines that are faith directed, not just fitness directed. You’ve experienced some good conversations come out of it you say. We don’t fast for others to see it, however I don’t think that means the Lord could not allow it to serve as a means of evangelization if He choses that at times.

FYI I follow the guidelines for fasting for my Church but I don’t worry about oil. One reason, maybe to main reason, I’ve seen different teachings, we don’t use olive oil is because it used to be stored in animal skins, so it would be contaminated by animal product with we are abstaining from. It’s not stored that way now. I don’t seek it, but in something like falafel I would be getting some oil.

I think fasting is one of the great gifts of our tradition.
P.S.
I find Fr. Schmemann’s writing about fasting very helpful. Here is one place where his writing on fasting is available on line. He also addresses the other component of fasting, ascetical fasting. I love his book Great Lent: Journey to Pascha. Most of the pages of the sections on fasting are here on google books but unfortunately there are 3 or 4 pages taken out.

Interesting, so you do think I should keep the approach of just briefly telling the truth. Maybe that is the way to go. I do think it’s an important example for people and that I shouldn’t be ashamed of my faith. I’ll just have to pray that it doesn’t damage my humility I’m also going to ask my priest about it since I"m getting some mixed feedback here.

Thank you for the reading recommendations! I love having things to reflect on during a fasting season.