Question about future?

[SlightlySceptic]

Hi, I am 18 and when I was 14, I found out that I had a rare kind of PCOS which prevents me from ovulating and having my period. The doctor said is is most likely to be permanent. I have been on the pill ever since, but I’m not sexually active. It helps me to get my period so I will not get cancer from the uterine lining. I had tried the regular Provera in the past, but it didn’t help me much. I know that some women with my situation when they marry take Metformin but this would not be an option for me because it’s for diabetic PCOS which I am not and causes you to lose weight, and I am too thin to be able to lose a lot more weight. Also, I kind of always had it in the back of my mind that I didn’t want children, and that I was glad I couldn’t. I’m wondering if this is sinful? I do love children and would consider adopting. The reason for me not wanting to be pregnant is that I have an extreme phobia of vomiting and would not want to vomit in the 1st 3 months ever. I won’t even drink or ride a roller coaster for the same reason. I also would be even more opposed to stuff like Metformin (even though it’s moot) because it can cause this stomach illness. Also, the bcp is the only thing that treats my bad acne and other symptoms, and I can’t imagine having such a hideous face again like I had at ages 9-14. I don’t know if any of it matters or if it’s a big deal, because I most likely would never be able to have my own child (unless of course I went nuts and did IVF with someone else’s egg and most likely miscarry anyway) which I wouldn’t want to go through. But, I was also taking Risperidone for a long time for my autistic symptoms. My first gynecologist said that I definitely had PCOS but her records didn’t transfer and then my 2nd said that it might just have been high prolactin from that med. This scares me because I have gone off now. I feel like I’m way too paranoid about ever stopping the pill to see if I bleed on my own or not, because it’s like I don’t want to know because I’m afraid that if I did, I would feel like if I married I’d have to have children and face the vomiting thing, which to me is one of the most evil, horrid things in the world. So, should I not ever marry? I am so confused!

 

[Viki63]

Dear Sceptic,
Do you have a counselor? Perhaps it would help to talk over your feelings about children, pregnancy and vomiting with a professional.
Vomiting is certainly not on anyone’s list of favorite things to do, but medications might help you avoid it. The only time I threw up during pregnancy was when I ate brewer’s yeast. No idea why.
As far as your medical questions, they are best addressed to your doctor. It’s always possible to get a second opinion too.
No one has to have children, but it is a possibility if one is married. It is an enormous blessing, also, and I hate to think of your avoiding it just because you don’t want to throw up.
God bless.

 

[Christy_Beth]

Not every woman gets morning sickness. There is no indicator that I know of on who is likely to get that or not. Of course, if you have a “weak” stomach, it might bother you to change dirty diapers. So, consider the whole situation. And, as has already been suggested, talk with a counselor or doctor about this. It would be a way to get a different perspective of the situation.

 

[Book_Worm]

I’ve always had an extremely queasy stomach; a mere whiff of an unpleasant smell has me retching and vomiting.

While pregnant I vomited once, for less than a minute. My DD never had morning sickness or vomiting with either of her pregnancies.

 

[jlc2k2]

I actually threw up maybe twice throughout my pregnancies. I dealt with all day nausea for weeks on end but didn’t actually throw up unless something else triggered it.

That said, I think it would be a good idea to talk to someone - your doctor, your priest, or a counselor - about your concerns. They could provide far better information about your specific situation than I could.

 

[1ke]

You need to talk to both a doctor and a mental health professional. You have a lot of fears you need to deal with, some sound grounded in assumptions rather than facts. Why not deal in facts?

 

[Todd977]

The last I checked the Church does not strictly require married couples to try to have children, only that their conjugal acts be open to life. You would need to talk to a priest but your extreme phobia may be a serious enough reason that you could licitly avoid getting pregnant indefinitely, provided you used licit means to do so, i.e. natural family planning. Your never wanting to get pregnant, however, is definitely something you would need to discuss with your future husband before the two of you exchange your marriage vows.

 

[SlightlySceptic]

In the event that I am still unable to menstruate on my own without the pill, would it be okay to use it if I got married, or would I have to allow myself to stop having periods. Like, would the Church require that I use something like Metformin instead, even if it meant posing a danger to my health? I’ve always wondered about this.

 

[1ke]

In the event that I am still unable to menstruate on my own without the pill,

You don’t menstruate with the Pill. You have induced bleeding which mimics a period.

would it be okay to use it if I got married, or would I have to allow myself to stop having periods. Like, would the Church require that I use something like Metformin instead, even if it meant posing a danger to my health? I’ve always wondered about this.

The Church has no prohibition on medicines used to treat a condition or disease even if the side effect is temporary or permanent sterility. You can contact the National Catholic Bioethics Center to ask about your situation or discuss it with your own pastor. Humanae Vitae discusses lawful therapeutic means of treating a disease. We can only give you generalities here, you should discuss specifics with your pastor for guidance.

Also, there are doctors who treat female problems such as PCOS and other related illnesses without the Pill, as they are opposed to its serious side effects and potential harm to the body.

NaPro Technology from the Pope Paul VI Institute in Nebraska is one such place, they have trained doctors all over the country in their methods.