Question about intercourse during pregnancy

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lucy910

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Hi all,

I have a question regarding a very specific scenario. I guess I’ll just give the story of what happened (without being too graphic of course!)

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, and feeling pretty sick at times. Today though, I felt fine, so I told my husband. One thing led to another of course, but during the act I felt quite emotional (stupid hormones?) and a little queasy. My husband was concerned, so he ended things before the “end”, so to speak. Now, I know that strictly speaking, this is a sin because as a married couple, you’re always supposed to see things through in this department. But seeing as how we’re already pregnant, and the fact that we stopped due to pregnancy related symptoms, does that lessen the severity at all?

So I guess my question is: was this a mortal sin? I should mention that I’m a new Catholic (just confirmed this past Easter!) which is why I’m a little clueless here. I didn’t even think about the fact that this was probably a sin until about an hour after it happened. I plan on bringing this up when I go to confession this weekend but that’s going to be awkward, so any advice is appreciated!
 
I don’t think it’s a sin…it’s definitely not a mortal sin because you had every intention of finishing the marital act the way it’s supposed to be finished.

This is all completely normal for pregnancy. If you felt queazy…then by all means stop. Even if you felt overly emotional…to the point of feeling uncomfortable…then stop. You didn’t plan relations to end this way…therefore it is not a mortal sin.

I don’t think this is something you need to take up with your confessor. I don’t think it’s sinful at all. But…I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to ask. I’ve taken up matters to my confessor I believed to be sinful…only to be told it wasn’t. 🤷

This has happened several times between my husband and I. Relations begin and something happens. I suddenly feel sick due to morning sickness, daughter #1 wakes from a nap or from regular sleep and needs attending to. It happens. As long as you didn’t intend to purposely finish the marital act some other way…it’s not a sin.
 
It is my understanding that intentionally preventing pregnancy from being physically possible is a sin. Since you are already pregnant by your husband and he stopped because he was concerned about you this could not possibly be a sin.
 
lucy910 said:
Hi all,

I have a question regarding a very specific scenario. I guess I’ll just give the story of what happened (without being too graphic of course!)

I’m currently 8 weeks pregnant, and feeling pretty sick at times. Today though, I felt fine, so I told my husband. One thing led to another of course, but during the act I felt quite emotional (stupid hormones?) and a little queasy. My husband was concerned, so he ended things before the “end”, so to speak. Now, I know that strictly speaking, this is a sin because as a married couple, you’re always supposed to see things through in this department. But seeing as how we’re already pregnant, and the fact that we stopped due to pregnancy related symptoms, does that lessen the severity at all?

So I guess my question is: was this a mortal sin? I should mention that I’m a new Catholic (just confirmed this past Easter!) which is why I’m a little clueless here. I didn’t even think about the fact that this was probably a sin until about an hour after it happened. I plan on bringing this up when I go to confession this weekend but that’s going to be awkward, so any advice is appreciated!
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If I understand you correctly, you stopped before climax. He did not seek alternate means of climax.

That is not a sin at any time, pregnant or not.
 
Is this your first pregnancy?

I’d guess it is because for those of us who’ve been married for a while and have children, we know the reality is that intercourse can often be interupted. Once kids are on the scene, it is not uncommon that interupations occur (at any time of day/night) and that resuming and completing isn’t possible. There is no sin at all in this. Your husband stopping was a lovely act of concern for you and as a man myself, I’d say stopping at such a time to comfort your wife is very impresive indeed.

(assuming, per 1ke’s comment, that he did not climax otherwise)
 
It’s not a sin to stop intercourse when one party becomes uncomfortable. There are any number of things that can happen that can compell a couple to stop. It’s a sin to intentionally arouse oneself with no intention of completing the act naturally, in order to avoid pregnancy. Those are completly different scenarios. Normally, the correct answer to this sort of thread is “ask your confessor”, but in this case I’m absolutely 100% certain that no sin occured.
 
1ke said:
If I understand you correctly, you stopped before climax. He did not seek alternate means of climax.

That is not a sin at any time, pregnant or not.
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Exactly. There is no rule that says you must finish an act of intercourse with orgasm. How sick would it be if you could not ask your partner to stop??
 
lucy910 said:
Now, I know that strictly speaking, this is a sin because as a married couple, you’re always supposed to see things through in this department. But seeing as how we’re already pregnant, and the fact that we stopped due to pregnancy related symptoms, does that lessen the severity at all?
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You are correct, you are supposed so “see things through”, otherwise you’re guilty of “coitus interruptus” (catholic.com/tracts/birth-control).

However, if you did this because you felt sick, you are not at fault.

Remember the conditions of a mortal sin.
  1. It has to be a severe sin.
  2. You have to know it is a severe sin.
  3. You have to do it with full consent.
If you and your husband had gone off to bed and he had said, “let’s mess around for a while but stop before I climax,” you would have committed a sin.

A year from now, you might have to stop because halfway through, the baby starts screaming and needs to be fed. That won’t be a sin either. 😉
 
1love said:
You are correct, you are supposed so “see things through”, otherwise you’re guilty of “coitus interruptus” (catholic.com/tracts/birth-control).
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I beg to differ. Onan’s sin was spilling his seed; the OP’s husband did not climax and in fact stopped because he was being sensitive to her needs and feelings. What a merciful thing to do. There is no sin in that mercy.
 
As others have noted, this is not a sin in any way, shape, or form. In fact, it’s the complete opposite; the husband sees the wife is uncomfortable and stops because he respects her.

The only way not “finishing” intercourse is a sin is if one or both spouses intend to do it solely for pleasure and stop with the intent to prevent pregnancy. That has nothing to do with the situation you described.
 
1love said:
You are correct, you are supposed so “see things through”, otherwise you’re guilty of “coitus interruptus” (catholic.com/tracts/birth-control).

However, if you did this because you felt sick, you are not at fault.

If you and your husband had gone off to bed and he had said, “let’s mess around for a while but stop before I climax,” you would have committed a sin.

A year from now, you might have to stop because halfway through, the baby starts screaming and needs to be fed. That won’t be a sin either. 😉
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No.

This is not “coitus interruptus”. Implied is that the husband did not climax at all.

there is nothing wrong with just simply not finishing.
 
agapewolf said:
No.

This is not “coitus interruptus”. Implied is that the husband did not climax at all.

there is nothing wrong with just simply not finishing.
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Yes, that is what I said - what she did was not coitus interruptus. But it would have been if they had intentionally stopped before they were finished.
 
1love said:
Yes, that is what I said - what she did was not coitus interruptus. But it would have been if they had intentionally stopped before they were finished.
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No, it wouldn’t.

Coitus interruptis is continuing to climax but not together.

You said “you have to see things through or it is coitus interruptus” . That is not true either.
 
congrats on your pregnancy, lucy! I hope this thread puts your mind at ease about this. I’m sure you have other concerns at this point.
 
I think “coitus interruptus” implies that the man pulls out at the last second to ejaculate elsewhere, specifically to reduce the chances of a conception. Otherwise known as “pull and pray.”
 
No, no, no, not a sin… please be absolved of any concerns you had about this. You had no intent to do this, it just happens sometimes.
 
agapewolf said:
No, it wouldn’t.

Coitus interruptis is continuing to climax but not together.

You said “you have to see things through or it is coitus interruptus” . That is not true either.
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I wouldn’t harp on this if it weren’t a matter of serious sin. Coitus interruptus means “interrupting coitus” or interrupting sex. It has nothing to do with when both people climax and is considered a serious sin. It is the same as the “withdrawal method” described above as pull & pray.
 
1love said:
I wouldn’t harp on this if it weren’t a matter of serious sin. Coitus interruptus means “interrupting coitus” or interrupting sex. It has nothing to do with when both people climax and is considered a serious sin. It is the same as the “withdrawal method” described above as pull & pray.
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No, it isn’t.

Coitus interruptis is the withdrawal method… stopping intercourse, and continuing to climax when not together.

Simply stopping sex, without completing is NOT sinful, and it is NOT coitus interruptus.
 
agapewolf said:
No, it isn’t.

Coitus interruptis is the withdrawal method… stopping intercourse, and continuing to climax when not together.

Simply stopping sex, without completing is NOT sinful, and it is NOT coitus interruptus.
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The purpose of sex is both unitive and life giving. One without the other is a sin against chastity. If one or more partner is incapable of orgasm, that’s another story, but to willfully stop in the middle of intercourse without intention of finishing is sinful.

You can have the last word if you want 🙂 but I am respectfully bowing out because I feel that we could go on this way for a while without progress.
 
It would be sinful if you purposefully intended to avoid procreation. If there was an unexpected situation, e.g., child in distress, urgent phone call, one or both partners in pain, etc. then certainly it is not sinful to stop.
 
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