If you get to Mass early enough, try to ask a priest (or call your priest tomorrow during the day). But it would be my guess that the answer would be yes, it’s not her fault.My daughter is having a catholic friend (elementary aged) over for a sleepover. We will be going to mass while she is with us. The girl’s parents do not regularly take her to mass on Sundays. As I see it, this is not her fault, and thus she is still permitted to receive communion? Need to sort it out now, because I don’t want to be in an awkward situation at mass. Thoughts? Appreciate your help!
The situation the op described does not indicate the child should not receive communion. The child is not a attending Mass through no fault of her own. God does not hold her accountable for the failings of her parents.‘If the teachings are so important why did you let my friend receive communion when she shouldn’t?’
Angie
Hello Angie,Everyone is probably going to blast me, but nonetheless here are my 2 cents
It is not about whose fault it is, nor is it about judging. It is about setting an example for your kids. If I was a mom, the LAST thing I would want to hear from my daughter is ‘My friend doesn’t have to attend church every week and there are not consequences for her. She still gets to receive communion so what is the big deal?’
When your daughter is a teenager and her catholic friends who don’t go to church every week start to have sex, how will you tell her the teachings are important when she will always be able to throw back ‘If the teachings are so important why did you let my friend receive communion when she shouldn’t?’
If a kid is not shown that following the faith is serious business, they will NEVER see it as serious once they are a teenager.
Angie
What’s wrong with saying, “I’m not raising those kids, I’m raising you.”? That was my parent’s approach whenever I tried that sort of line on them.When your daughter is a teenager and her catholic friends who don’t go to church every week start to have sex, how will you tell her the teachings are important when she will always be able to throw back ‘If the teachings are so important why did you let my friend receive communion when she shouldn’t?’
Angie
I see your point, I simply disagree with where the line should be drawn. If my kids friend rarely attends mass and they go to mass with THEIR parents and my kid sees them take communion, I would gladly say ‘I am not raising so and so kids’. However if I am the adult bringing the kid to mass it is a different story because I am in charge. As a kid, I resented other kids staying in my home and being allowed to break rules I couldn’t in my own home.What’s wrong with saying, “I’m not raising those kids, I’m raising you.”? That was my parent’s approach whenever I tried that sort of line on them…
I can’t stop other kids from negatively influencing my kids. However, in my home, if other kids start talking about having premarital sex, they will get the same lecture my kids get. I control what I say, not what other people do.Also, what IS going to happen when your child’s friends start having sex? How are you going to stop them so they don’t set a bad example for your child? That’s impossible!
Again, if my kid came home saying ‘So and so did it first’, I would still discipline my child. If so and so was staying at my house and I was responsible for caring for that child while their parents were away, I would give that kid the same consequence as mine.Your child is going to be exposed to other kids who aren’t doing the right this all the time. This starts in kindergarten when they say, “I got in trouble for breaking crayons in half, but so-and-so did it first. That’s not fair!” It’s much better to teach your child that we don’t judge other people and we worry about and are responsible for our own behavior, not other people’s.
Do most Catholic parents even micromanage whether their own children take communion? For instance, do parents say, “You hit your sister last Monday, so you can’t take communion?” I would think not. Most likely, the right thing to do is to make certain that your kids (and visiting Catholic kids) have opportinities to go to confession if they feel they need to. The OP, in this situation, has no way of knowing the actual situation of the child in question. Children are not culpable for their parent’s sins and we don’t know why this child hasn’t been to Mass lately. There simply isn’t enough information for the OP to make that choice for the child. If one is really concerned about this, the only choices I can think of would be to not take other people’s children to Mass, or to attend a Mass where there is an opportunity for confession.I can’t stop other kids from negatively influencing my kids. However, in my home, if other kids start talking about having premarital sex, they will get the same lecture my kids get. I control what I say, not what other people do.
Again, if my kid came home saying ‘So and so did it first’, I would still discipline my child. If so and so was staying at my house and I was responsible for caring for that child while their parents were away, I would give that kid the same consequence as mine.
You cannot discern her soul. No awkward situation needed. Just let her be.My daughter is having a catholic friend (elementary aged) over for a sleepover. We will be going to mass while she is with us. The girl’s parents do not regularly take her to mass on Sundays. As I see it, this is not her fault, and thus she is still permitted to receive communion? Need to sort it out now, because I don’t want to be in an awkward situation at mass. Thoughts? Appreciate your help!
I was thinking of a situation where a friend came over, I was thinking more of a situation where for some reason, the kids parents could not care for the kid and I was doing it and was the temporary primary cargiverRegarding your second statement; I don’t know if you have children with friends who stay over or not,.
I agree and that is why I would no longer take care of other people’s kidsbut I have a lot of experience with caring for other people’s kids and one simply can’t discipline someone else’s child in the same way you discipline your own. ,.
I’d never presume that it was my business whether a kid staying over was allowed to receive or not. If the kid wasn’t Catholic, I wouldn’t let them, but if the kid is Catholic, has received First Communion and gets up to receive, I’m not going to say anything, even if I think they have a reason not to.My daughter is having a catholic friend (elementary aged) over for a sleepover. We will be going to mass while she is with us. The girl’s parents do not regularly take her to mass on Sundays. As I see it, this is not her fault, and thus she is still permitted to receive communion? Need to sort it out now, because I don’t want to be in an awkward situation at mass. Thoughts? Appreciate your help!
Refraining from correcting those over whom you have no authority is also a serious thing, and it is a rare teen who really wants his or her parents correcting their teen’s friends as if they were their own.Everyone is probably going to blast me, but nonetheless here are my 2 cents
It is not about whose fault it is, nor is it about judging. It is about setting an example for your kids. If I was a mom, the LAST thing I would want to hear from my daughter is ‘My friend doesn’t have to attend church every week and there are not consequences for her. She still gets to receive communion so what is the big deal?’
When your daughter is a teenager and her catholic friends who don’t go to church every week start to have sex, how will you tell her the teachings are important when she will always be able to throw back ‘If the teachings are so important why did you let my friend receive communion when she shouldn’t?’
If a kid is not shown that following the faith is serious business, they will NEVER see it as serious once they are a teenager.
Angie