Question about living with someone

[rosa635]

I am catholic and was married in a catholic church. We are now divorced and are going through the marriage annulment. My boy friend is not catholic but was married to a catholic person. He is divorced and will start the process to get his marriage annulled through the church. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We have a son that is 3 years. We go to church and have agreed that we will raise our son catholic and will probably end up going to a catholic school. I’ve been going to church all this time and I’ve been taking the body of christ. I was just told that I cannot do that because I’m living in sin. Is that correct? Do I have to wait until my catholic marriage gets annulled so I can start taking the body of christ? What happens if one or neither of our marriages get annulled does that mean we’ll live in sin for the rest of our lives? My boyfriend and I do plan on getting married but it will probably not be in a catholic church. I’m not sure yet. Does that mean, I’m still living in sin and can’t take the body of christ? Let’s be honest, we are all sinners. I’ve smoked, drank, partied, had sex before marriage does that mean I’ll go to hell. Isn’t God suppose to love us no matter what? I mean if someone is a good person, and is raising their child to be good person and catholic doesn’t that mean something. People change, and I think God or the church shouldn’t judge us so harsh. I mean God is suppose to be love and should love all his kids. I am on the right path now, I’m loyal and dedicated to my family. But just because we decide not to get married by church doesn’t mean that should be a strike against us.

 

[1ke]

Please make an appoiontment to sit down and talk to your priest and ask all your questions to him.

You need guidance, more than an internet forum can provide. Talk it through with your priest and he will help you and can hear your confession also.

 

[Iaamiccwint]

We are all sinners. God loves all. Salvation is in God’s hands and not in the hands of religion or the clergy. I believe God isn’t about sending people to hell regardless of the sins they have committed. I believe esentially good people who strive to do good are destined to heaven.

Talk to a priest or a deacon to discuss your issues further.

Hope all goes well.

Peace.

 

[andreashofer]

Many single mums are crying out for annulment of their marriages, but don’t get it because they can’t justify it in a caring and loving way towards their husbands and children.

Often, they just want to chain another man, because the first one seemed useless.

Please don’t respond to this if it doesn’t apply to your case.

It will arouse only those to anger to whom it applies, especially among Catholics.

Our Lady of Fatima said: “The sin that is committed most often is the breaking of the 6th commandment.”

Yes, and it must be brought to the sacrament of mercy. and a person living in adultery cannot receive Holy Communion.

 

[Iron_Donkey]

Again, talking to your priest is your best bet. The basics are that living as though married with a person you are not married to is grave matter (hence mortally sinful if the other conditions are present) and that we are not supposed to receive the Eucharist while in a state of mortal sin.

But as for advice for what you should actually do, talk to your priest.

 

[phoooiee]

I am catholic and was married in a catholic church. We are now divorced and are going through the marriage annulment. My boy friend is not catholic but was married to a catholic person. He is divorced and will start the process to get his marriage annulled through the church. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We have a son that is 3 years. We go to church and have agreed that we will raise our son catholic and will probably end up going to a catholic school. I’ve been going to church all this time and I’ve been taking the body of christ. I was just told that I cannot do that because I’m living in sin. Is that correct? Do I have to wait until my catholic marriage gets annulled so I can start taking the body of christ? What happens if one or neither of our marriages get annulled does that mean we’ll live in sin for the rest of our lives? My boyfriend and I do plan on getting married but it will probably not be in a catholic church. I’m not sure yet. Does that mean, I’m still living in sin and can’t take the body of christ? Let’s be honest, we are all sinners. I’ve smoked, drank, partied, had sex before marriage does that mean I’ll go to hell. Isn’t God suppose to love us no matter what? I mean if someone is a good person, and is raising their child to be good person and catholic doesn’t that mean something. People change, and I think God or the church shouldn’t judge us so harsh. I mean God is suppose to be love and should love all his kids. I am on the right path now, I’m loyal and dedicated to my family. But just because we decide not to get married by church doesn’t mean that should be a strike against us.

I will be praying for you- of course God loves you no matter what- but I will tell you this- I was in a similar situation a few years ago, and the decision to abstain from sexual relations until our marriage situation was regularized was one of the most beautiful experiences I have ever been through. It was incredibly freeing and really caused me and my husband to grow closer together- and this is all that is required to be allowed to receive the Eucharist.
Hopefully, it will be worth it to you to at least consider this path- it is NOT just an arbitrary rule or “punishment.” It really can do something for you and your partner- if you accept it with open hearts

 

[AthenaC]

Please make an appoiontment to sit down and talk to your priest and ask all your questions to him.

You need guidance, more than an internet forum can provide. Talk it through with your priest and he will help you and can hear your confession also.

I don’t normally agree with 1ke, but I cannot agree more with this post. You are going to get 183,483,985 different opinions (count them when all is said and done if you don’t believe me), and they are all going to be some combination of too harsh and too permissive.

Many single mums are crying out for annulment of their marriages, but don’t get it because they can’t justify it in a caring and loving way towards their husbands and children.

Often, they just want to chain another man, because the first one seemed useless.

That is an unfair assessment. It is more accurate to say that many single moms have husbands that gave valid consent at the time of the wedding and then those husbands abandoned their vows. These moms are now SOL unless their husbands grow up (unlikely) or die (unlikely, but more realistic than the other option).

Please don’t respond to this if it doesn’t apply to your case.

It will arouse only those to anger to whom it applies, especially among Catholics.

Well then maybe you should find out whether something unflattering and insulting applies before you throw it into the fray. Prudence is a virtue. Please don’t respond if you are actually a mind-reader and this doesn’t apply.

Our Lady of Fatima said: “The sin that is committed most often is the breaking of the 6th commandment.”

No, that is inaccurate. She said, “sins of the flesh” and nothing about the 6th commandment. (Google it - every single link supports this) Now, whether “sins of the flesh” had some connotation in early 20th century Portuguese relating to sex I don’t know, but last time I read about Fatima, “sins of the flesh” was interpreted to mean gluttony, sloth, anything that appeals to the body. Yes, sex is included, but sex wasn’t meant specifically.

 

[andreashofer]

The family that prays together stays together!

 

[AthenaC]

The family that prays together stays together!

Cool story bro.

Let me know if your platitudes keep you warm at night when your spouse (who gave valid consent at the wedding) decides to abandon their wedding vows of their own free will.

 

[cmscms]

I’ve been going to church all this time and I’ve been taking the body of christ. I was just told that I cannot do that because I’m living in sin. Is that correct? .

yes

Do I have to wait until my catholic marriage gets annulled so I can start taking the body of christ? .

Umm… actually, you should stop living as man and wife and you can start taking the body of christ again.

What happens if one or neither of our marriages get annulled does that mean we’ll live in sin for the rest of our lives? .

That is when you can pray to God to turn from your sinful ways. If your marriage is not annulled, ask God to give you the strenght to live as a celibate person or to reconcile with your first husband

If your BF’s marriage is the marriage that is NOT annulled, then you can pray to God for the strenght to leave him and are free to date someone else

My boyfriend and I do plan on getting married but it will probably not be in a catholic church. I’m not sure yet. Does that mean, I’m still living in sin and can’t take the body of christ? .

Yes. I have to wonder why you would NOT want to marry in the church if the Catholic religion is so important to you

Let’s be honest, we are all sinners. I’ve smoked, drank, partied, had sex before marriage does that mean I’ll go to hell. .

Smoking and drinking are not sins. Getting drunk and having premarital sex are sins. However, there is such a thing as going to confession and changing are ways. God understands that. However, continuing to live with a man who is not your husband in the eyes of the Catholic church shows a total lack of desire to repent

Isn’t God suppose to love us no matter what? I mean if someone is a good person, and is raising their child to be good person and catholic doesn’t that mean something. .

Of course God’s loves us no matter what. However, if we choose to turn our backs on Him in this life, he is no push over, he will send people to hell. Again that is why He gave of the sacrament of confession, to help us turn from our sinful ways. It hurts God to no end to send His loved ones to hell, but He still does it.

And living with your boyfriend is NOT a good Catholic upbrining. Why should your son take anything about the religion seriously. If you can pick and choose which commandments to follow, your son will do the same.

People change, and I think God or the church shouldn’t judge us so harsh. .

Agreed the church and no human being should ever judge you. However God is God and He gets to choose how to judge us. Trust me, there have been a lot of things in my life where I disagreed with God, but at the end of the day, I ask Him to help me understand His ways. I can’t even imagine what a religion would be like if God did everything humans wanted

I mean God is suppose to be love and should love all his kids. I am on the right path now, I’m loyal and dedicated to my family. But just because we decide not to get married by church doesn’t mean that should be a strike against us .

With all due respect, you are not on the right path. We all sin and we all get back up. But by living with your BF, you are making it clear you do NOT want to listen to God.

I know this was probably not what you wanted to hear, however, I must speak the truth in love

CM

 

[underacloud]

That is when you can pray to God to turn from your sinful ways. If your marriage is not annulled, ask God to give you the strenght to live as a celibate person or to reconcile with your first husband

If your BF’s marriage is the marriage that is NOT annulled, then you can pray to God for the strenght to leave him and are free to date someone else

Their situation is a little different given there is a child involved. If they are unable to get both marriages annulled, it is still difficult to work out a way forward, taking their son’s best interests into consideration. Living together chastely may be the best option, even if one of them succeeds in getting an annulment and the other doesn’t. The complexities of this are why the advice of other posters to make an appoiontment to talk to their priest is the best advice possible.

I have to wonder why you would NOT want to marry in the church if the Catholic religion is so important to you

I wonder this too. Why worry about getting previous marriages annulled if you’re not going to have a valid Catholic marriage anyway? And what does this have to do with how you raise your son? You want to raise him Catholic, but you aren’t even going to have a Catholic marriage. If you don’t have a proper Catholic marriage, you will also find it hard to have your son receive the sacraments (baptism, first communion, etc) through the Catholic Church.

 

[cmscms]

Their situation is a little different given there is a child involved. If they are unable to get both marriages annulled, it is still difficult to work out a way forward, taking their son’s best interests into consideration. Living together chastely may be the best option, even if one of them succeeds in getting an annulment and the other doesn’t. The complexities of this are why the advice of other posters to make an appoiontment to talk to their priest is the best advice possible.

I didn’t realize living together chasely was an option. I would have though that was just a temptation to sin or occasion to sin

CM

 

[underacloud]

I didn’t realize living together chasely was an option. I would have though that was just a temptation to sin or occasion to sin

CM

I’m not certain, nor wise enough to say one way or the other; it is complicated.

The following is a pastoral letter concerning divorced and remarried Catholics receiving the Eucharist:

vatican.va/roman_curia/congregations/cfaith/documents/rc_con_cfaith_doc_14091994_rec-holy-comm-by-divorced_en.html

Here is a relevant quote:

The faithful who persist in such a situation may receive Holy Communion only after obtaining sacramental absolution, which may be given only “to those who, repenting of having broken the sign of the Covenant and of fidelity to Christ, are sincerely ready to undertake a way of life that is no longer in contradiction to the indissolubility of marriage. This means, in practice, that when for serious reasons, for example, for the children’s upbringing, a man and a woman cannot satisfy the obligation to separate, they ‘take on themselves the duty to live in complete continence, that is, by abstinence from the acts proper to married couples’”(8). In such a case they may receive Holy Communion as long as they respect the obligation to avoid giving scandal.

This letter applies to remarried people. Given that the OP is not actually remarried, they would need to discuss this with their priest and determine the best way forward. But a reading of the above would suggest that the raising of children is a serious enough reason for a couple not validly married to remain together, but to live chastely.

The OP, if she is serious about her faith, is in a position now where she and her boyfriend should be living chastely anyway (ie not having sex) until their annulment processes are completed. If they are not, and if they are not intending to marry in the Church anyway, I have no idea why they are even seeking these annulments.

 

[andreashofer]

Smoking and drinking are not sins.

**NOT TRUE! **

Drinking is not a sin, that’s correct, but smoking is a sin , because it kills the lungs.

Smoking is murder of the smoker. It’s a pleasure like masturbation and it brings harm to the soul, which is the creature of God.

St. Paul: Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost.

I also refer you to the revelations of Jesus to Bro Stanley Villovicencio, the Divine Mercy messages.

 

[Iaamiccwint]

Smoking and drinking are not sins.

**NOT TRUE! **

Drinking is not a sin, that’s correct, but smoking is a sin , because it kills the lungs.

Smoking is murder of the smoker. It’s a pleasure like masturbation and it brings harm to the soul, which is the creature of God.

St. Paul: Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost.

I also refer you to the revelations of Jesus to Bro Stanley Villovicencio, the Divine Mercy messages.

Drinking is NOT a sin, but smoking IS?! Sorry, I respectfully disagree.

Alcohol is a drug, and when misused can be just as harmful as cigarette smoking.
Having a massage brings about pleasure, I’m sure I’m not commiting a “mortal” sin. Eating chocolate, hell, eating a lot of chocolate can be “bad” for you because it gives you pleasure and can give you a tummy ache and “add” a couple pounds to you.

I’m sorry, toucing yourself is not a sin. Where in the Bible and where does Christ specifically it say that “toucing yoursef” is a sin.

Thank you.

Marijuana? Not a sin. Marijuana is a wellness substance.
Let me remind you that many over the counter and perscription medications are more harmful than marijuana. Just think about it.

Also, marijuana doesn’t need to be “smoked” through combustion in order to consume it.

¡a Dios sea toda la Gloria!

 

[Irishmom2]

Many single mums are crying out for annulment of their marriages, but don’t get it because they can’t justify it in a caring and loving way towards their husbands and children.

Often, they just want to chain another man, because the first one seemed useless.

Please don’t respond to this if it doesn’t apply to your case.

It will arouse only those to anger to whom it applies, especially among Catholics.

There is no basis for the comments you have made here. It angers me and it in no way applies to me. I am married and am not looking for an annulment. They are useless generalizations that you have no way of backing up.

 

[cmscms]

Smoking and drinking are not sins.

**NOT TRUE! **

Drinking is not a sin, that’s correct, but smoking is a sin , because it kills the lungs.

.

Please show me where in the Cathecism it says smonking is a sin. Also, please explain to me why I see priests smoke in public?

Thanks