Question about Lust

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Hi all,

I know what the catechism says about lust. However, I want to hear what you think about the following:

I struggle with custody of the eyes when it comes to reading magazines, surfing the net, etc. Generally, I’ll just rip out the offending pages or realize what I’m looking at and shut down the window after a couple of seconds. I ususally do not have thoughts of sexual relations, but may check out the person for a few seconds and think “Wow, nice body!”. If I do have sexual thoughts (I wonder what they’d look like neked), they are fleeting and I try to turn my thoughts to something else.

I’m basically trying to parse out if this is considered lust (grave matter) or if it’s more of treating people like an object or an immodest look (sinful, but not grave). Is lust a desire to have sexual relations with a person for the sole benefit of ones own pleasure and anything less than that (i.e. checking out a person) not considered grave, but still tempting or venial sin and to be avoided?

Thanks!

P.S. I’ve made leaps and bounds in this department, but want to improve further so any comments is very much appreciated!
 
Yes…keep a “reasonable custody of the senses”…

Lust is not just desire to have sexual relations. It can happen from looking at a person…or thinking about a person…etc

But just cause one notices an attractive person…or feels a spontanious sexual attraction …does not mean one is lusting.

But yes…observe reasonable custody of the senses…

This can be helpful From Jimmy Akin of CA

jimmyakin.org/2009/01/appreciating-beauty-vs-concupiscence.html
 
Thanks, I’ve read that article before as well. I guess I just wanted to get it in my mind that even though I may fail by looking at the immodest image that I was not commiting a an act grave enough to sever my relationship with God.
 
Yes there can be “looks of curiosity” or “immodest looks” which are not contrary to chastity …but which are venially sinful …ones confessor can also be of help
 
“Wow, nice body!”.
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People have bodies.

However, people shouldn’t be stripping down almost naked and indecently exposing themselves in a magazine for money.

It’s both harmful to their spirit to wish to be viewed in this way and harmful to those who view them in that light (their value comes from their sexual attractiveness - their sexual usefullness to others).

IMO, it’s being less than human when people need to express their body form ahead of their mind and their spirit.
 
Put on a pair of sunglasses and stop thinking of women as “objects”.

I thought we were past this stuff. Go to confession. Pray. Get some humility. What makes you think the “object” would want you, anyway.
 
Katrina5 said:
Put on a pair of sunglasses and stop thinking of women as “objects”.

I thought we were past this stuff. Go to confession. Pray. Get some humility. What makes you think the “object” would want you, anyway.
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Don’t know if you mean your tone to be harsh, but if you do, then maybe you need to chill out. I’m trying to do the right thing. Not sure what you mean by putting on a pair of sunglasses… and as for thinking “we were past this stuff” you need to realize some people come here for real advice who may struggle. They don’t need some trite comment that provides no significant guidance.

I don’t treat women or think of them as objects. I’m specifically concerned with women who put themselves out there to objectify themselves by posing in bikini’s for example and how I should deal with it. Sorry, but my eyes are going to be drawn to the pages of the magazine I’m reading and if they stick an ad or a photo shoot of a woman, then I’m going to end up stumbling upon it (for the record, it’s fitness and health magazines I mainly read). I was trying to figure out the gravity of the situation if I find myself “checking out” the person and whether or not it was mortal.

Bookcat has answered my questions with some good advice. Any other advice is appreciated, but I’d appreciate advice with some substance and no backhanded comments (ie. “What makes you think the “object” would want you, anyway” doesn’t help anyone).
 
Cupcake143 has some of the answers you may be seeking.
You were the one who called it “lust” and saying these women are “putting themselves out there”.

I think it’s human nature and human frailty to lust, and I know men have a harder time controlling lust. If the people are photos in a magazine, then yes they are objects. They are doing it for money which is like prostitution.

You already know what to do, so I guess I don’t know why you even introduced the topic.
This isn’t facebook.
 
I was told to apologize to you, so here goes: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings and it won’t happen again.

Good bye and good luck with your lust problem.
 
Katrina5 said:
I was told to apologize to you, so here goes: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings and it won’t happen again.

Good bye and good luck with your lust problem.
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You didn’t hurt my feelings. I just don’t appreciate the tone of your two posts which you may or may not have intended.

And I don’t need luck. I need people’s prayers like everyone else with problems. Fortunately, it’s not so much lust for me as it is an issue with custody of senses which the post was trying to compare with lust in terms of gravity of sin. Thanks to all who posted and especially to Bookcat. He had the answers I was looking for.
 
Katrina5 said:
I was told to apologize to you, so here goes: I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings and it won’t happen again.

Good bye and good luck with your lust problem.
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Someone needs to read up on being charitable.
 
To the OP, we all struggle with lust. It doesn’t help that women have been poisoned by feminism and feel they need to show off as much skin as possible.
I saw a patient today who had a young aid wearing skin tight (and I mean skin tight) pants with a polo shirt. It boggles my mind why anyone would want to reveal every nook and cranny of their body.
Pray to the Blessed Mother for help. 😃
 
Catholic41506 said:
To the OP, we all struggle with lust. It doesn’t help that women have been poisoned by feminism and feel they need to show off as much skin as possible.
I saw a patient today who had a young aid wearing skin tight (and I mean skin tight) pants with a polo shirt. It boggles my mind why anyone would want to reveal every nook and cranny of their body.
Pray to the Blessed Mother for help. 😃
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You know, it boggles my mind, too. I’m made fun of for wearing clothes that cover myself.
How do you undo this culture? Why are women made to think five inch heels and short and low cut dresses don’t invite rape and lust in men?

Better yet, why do men fall for it? Don’t they know it will just end up costing them a lot of money and their souls?
 
Katrina5 said:
You know, it boggles my mind, too. I’m made fun of for wearing clothes that cover myself.
How do you undo this culture? Why are women made to think five inch heels and short and low cut dresses don’t invite rape and lust in men?

Better yet, why do men fall for it? Don’t they know it will just end up costing them a lot of money and their souls?
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I can’t tell if your being sarcastic or not. Women should cover themselves just as men should. Their are wonderful examples on this board of women who dress like women.
 
Catholic41506 said:
I can’t tell if your being sarcastic or not. Women should cover themselves just as men should. Their are wonderful examples on this board of women who dress like women.
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Sadly, I am not being sarcastic. It makes me sick to see Lindsay Lohan and her look-alikes all flaunting themselves. Yes, it is true that women invite rape. Our culture (and courts) have made it seem like women don’t, but they do.

I dress like a woman, by the way. Not a stylish woman, but feminine. I never got into the high heel thing because you never know when you might have to run away!

I’m having a nervous breakdown.
 
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