Question about lying and making amends for them

[ConvertHereYay]

I recently returned to the Church after being away for ~3 years. I’m 25 now. My first Confession took ~1.5 hours because the priest and I also talked a while after the confessing of sins.

Please help me regarding this scenario. I’ve discussed this with the priest a little.
It relates to a problem I am facing. Please pray for me also.​

A person (me) tells a lie to their parents and numerous friends and family members that is so grave that it is most likely a mortal sin. It has not caused physical or non-physician harm to anyone, except for mental anguish on part of the lier.

The sin is absolved in a valid Confession.

The penitent is resolved make amends for the lie as much as possible in as far as not to damage the relationship with parents/friends/families.

The penitent makes all effort to stop talking about the lie as if it were true. In order to negate the perceived (by parents/friends/family) the penitent must fabricate tiny tiny (venial) lies **because admitting the original lie will surely do great damage to all relationships. **​

What do you think?

 

[Claire_from_DE]

My thought is that you have not given enough information for us to make any helpful suggestion, and perhaps you should not. If you spoke to the priest for a long time, his suggestions should probably be taken seriously.

You should consider if relationships should be built on lies. You say the lie hasn’t caused harm to anyone except yourself but then say that if the lie were revealed it would damage relationships. I can imagine several scenarios but they may be far from what actually happened.

For instance, a person becomes pregnant. She lies about the identity of the father. Now she is living a lie. Perhaps there’s good reason not to reveal the father’s name. But how could anyone advise her without knowing the circumstances? And even then one could be wrong in anticipating what the outcome might be. It would be best to seek the advice of a person she knows to be wise and holy and with whom she can be totally open about what happened.

 

[ConvertHereYay]

My thought is that you have not given enough information for us to make any helpful suggestion, and perhaps you should not. If you spoke to the priest for a long time, his suggestions should probably be taken seriously.

You should consider if relationships should be built on lies. You say the lie hasn’t caused harm to anyone except yourself but then say that if the lie were revealed it would damage relationships. I can imagine several scenarios but they may be far from what actually happened.

For instance, a person becomes pregnant. She lies about the identity of the father. Now she is living a lie. Perhaps there’s good reason not to reveal the father’s name. But how could anyone advise her without knowing the circumstances? And even then one could be wrong in anticipating what the outcome might be. It would be best to seek the advice of a person she knows to be wise and holy and with whom she can be totally open about what happened.

Thanks. I’ve been praying and thinking for some time. It will be fine.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

Well, that’s what the Holy Spirit does, He ‘enlightens our minds’. What a relief to go to confession after 3 years away, eh? God is so good!