Question about marriage and dating

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My friend and I texted today and he was asking me how my search was going. He told me that last night he almost broke up with the girl.

He told me that the first month they were together she dedicated a song to him. Today in his way to work that same came on. On his way back home the same song came on again. What makes it odd or weird or even coincidental is that this song is not new, it came out in the late 70s. He heard the song twice today and to him it felt like a sign to just wait it out.
 
Radio stations will often play the same old song several times in one day. If your friend had the radio on the rest of the day, he might have even heard it again.:rolleyes: It is not a sign. God doesn’t work through songs on the radio. It sounds like an excuse to stay with her.

Once again… SHE IS MARRIED AND NOT FREE TO DATE.

I don’t care how she wants to justify what she does, he should not be dating her.
 
chero23 said:
My friend and I texted today and he was asking me how my search was going. He told me that last night he almost broke up with the girl.
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Your friend knows, with his head, that there is no future here.

Your friend’s heart (and/or something else) is telling him a different story.

Tell him to use his head, not his heart.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Radio stations will often play the same old song several times in one day. If your friend had the radio on the rest of the day, he might have even heard it again.:rolleyes: It is not a sign. God doesn’t work through songs on the radio. It sounds like an excuse to stay with her.

Once again… SHE IS MARRIED AND NOT FREE TO DATE.

I don’t care how she wants to justify what she does, he should not be dating her.
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Yes and trust me I think he knows that. She is still legally married whether she likes it or not. I know that he said that later in he will go to confession and bring this up with the priest. He told me whatever I get told by the priest, by the information I give him, and the conversation that he’ll have with his mom this week, I think he foresees this ending by the end of the week.
His conscious I don’t think would let him live through this for too long, it would kill him slowly.
 
underacloud said:
Your friend knows, with his head, that there is no future here.

Your friend’s heart (and/or something else) is telling him a different story.

Tell him to use his head, not his heart.
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And I thank you guys and gals for your comments. I’ll read to him each post so he knows where the community is at.
 
My friend told me this, if the girl were to file for divorce in the next month, should he wait?

I got stumped on that. Once again all help is greatly appreciated.
 
chero23 said:
My friend and I texted today and he was asking me how my search was going. He told me that last night he almost broke up with the girl.

He told me that the first month they were together she dedicated a song to him. Today in his way to work that same came on. On his way back home the same song came on again. What makes it odd or weird or even coincidental is that this song is not new, it came out in the late 70s. He heard the song twice today and to him it felt like a sign to just wait it out.
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Both this guy and the girl have a lot of excuses and explanations and explanations don’t they?
Read between the lines:
They ARE NOT going to listen to anything you say.

Let it go. No good will come of it, and they don’t seem to want to listen anyway.
 
Is this really a “friend” or yourself you’re talking about?
The friend seems to care a lot about what you/we think.
:confused:
 
pianistclare said:
Is this really a “friend” or yourself you’re talking about?
The friend seems to care a lot about what you/we think.
:confused:
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He spoke to me quite a bit as he was making his back to church. He was baptized Ctholic but after his confirmation, stopped going to church. We would spend hours debating different catholic doctrines. This is my front door neighbor (which i have known since I was 6 im 30 now) so since he met this girl he has been telling me about the situation.

He asked me to get him advice, not only is he getting it from me, but he will also speak to his mom, and he has stated that on Saturday he will speak to the priest while he goes to confession.

I just pose the question because sometimes I dont feel that I have the answer. What I know and can answer I reply to him, but when theirs an isue and I can’t answer I come here and ask.

Like I said this is my front door neighbor, me and him go way back, this is a guy who I took under my wing for him to get back to church, so yes I want to make sure the right decision is made, which I believe he will, but I want him to feel right about it. The reason why he thinks about what I think, is because like I told you, he was away from church for uh some 16 years, since October that he started going back to Church he wants to make sure he is doing things right.
 
I think you need to let your friend decide if being Catholic matters enough to him or not.

He is going to wait around for a woman with two kids to get divorced and then wait around to see if she needs/receives an annulment? Do you know if she is even Catholic or not?

It seems to me that if your friend is really interested in answers he needs to speak with a priest.

You have given him plenty of counsel, and he just comes up with more scenarios. It seems like you are more interested than he is, or he would have posted himself.

You gave him information, now it us time to step back and stay out of it.
 
chero23 said:
he was away from church for uh some 16 years, since October that he started going back to Church he wants to make sure he is doing things right.
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Okay, so the short answer to that is, no, he us not doing things right. No dating married women. It doesn’t get any clearer than that.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Okay, so the short answer to that is, no, he us not doing things right. No dating married women. It doesn’t get any clearer than that.
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Oh and I agree with you. I did tell him, once you speak to your mom, when you speak to the priest this saturday and I post this question in the forum, I think it will be unanimous that the best thing even though it will be painfuk is to step away now that he can before he gets in deeper.
 
Look – there are a whole lot of people who have a whole lot of drama in their lives.

This may come across as uncaring, uncharitable, unCatholic – but you can’t help them by making your life a part of theirs and vice-versa.

Been there, done that. Doesn’t work.

A psychiatrist doesn’t treat family members. A lawyer doesn’t represent himself.
 
on_the_hill said:
Look – there are a whole lot of people who have a whole lot of drama in their lives.

This may come across as uncaring, uncharitable, unCatholic – but you can’t help them by making your life a part of theirs and vice-versa.

Been there, done that. Doesn’t work.

A psychiatrist doesn’t treat family members. A lawyer doesn’t represent himself.
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Right.

How about your friend try looking for a grownup lady whose life doesn’t consist of swirling chaos? There are plenty of women (including single mothers) that have their life under control. I know that’s “boring,” but drama eventually gets boring, too.
 
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