Question about marriage and re-marriage in the Catholic Church

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bobjohn

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I am looking into the Catholic church. The problem I see is that I have been married and divorced, and re-married.

My first wife I was married to for under 6 months and I left because of infidelity. I have been re-married 12 years now and wonder how many hoops I will have to jump through. I am willing, I see that I may have to contact her(ex-wife), and to honest I don’t know if she is alive or dead. She had a severe drug problem and I know she remarried, but I lost all connection with her.
 
First of all, none of us on CAF will be able to give you a full answer- Go to your local parish, comtact a priest, and talk to him concerning this.

Now, are you Catholic? Were your wives Catholic? were either of your marriages in the Church?
 
This is something that will need to be discussed with a priest. The Church views marriage as being a lifelong commitment. It cannot be broken by the Church (there are some extraordinary technical situations which I won’t bring up). Adultery doesn’t dissolve a valid marriage. If there were impediments to your first legal marriage (lack of consent, lack of knowledge about marriage, lack of proper intent at the time the marriage was made, etc…), though, it’s possible that a true “valid” marriage never existed and that you were free to marry again. However, the first marriage is always presumed valid until the Church has had a chance to review. If your previous civil marraige was not valid in the eyes of the Church, the Church can declare it to be annulled.

Each case is different and that is why you really should speak with a priest or deacon (by appointment), especially if you’re in the process of converting.

The Church doesn’t try to punish you or make life difficult. The Church sees marriage as a very serious and holy commitment made between two people (not by the Church) that it doesn’t have the authority to break, which is why it takes such careful review to determine if a valid marriage ever took place.
 
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bobjohn said:
I see that I may have to contact her(ex-wife)
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Just a point of information: the Church does not require a person in your situation to contact an “ex-spouse.” What is required is to provide an address where he/she can be contacted by the local Church court or, if that is not possible, a demonstration of a good faith effort to find that address, without success.

Beyond that, yes, the best course of action is to speak to your local Catholic priest (and/or the local diocesan tribunal office) about this

Dan
 
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If your former spouse refuses to participate the case can still go forward. My husband’s first marriage was declared invalid. His ex told our parish priest she didn’t want to be part of the process. (Our priest was charged with doing the interviews.) The priest just simply sent everything back to the tribunal and said Hubby’s ex didn’t want to be involved and the case carried on without her.
 
Lots of factors are at play. Go to your priest with details.

Were you ever baptised? Was your spouse? Why did you get married? Why did you divorce? What of the one you’re married to now? etc etc it can get complicated. But don’t let that put you off from the beauty, depth, and truth of the Church!
 
Find a good case assistant at a parish and that person will help you.
 
The Western Church does recognize “natural marriages” outside of the Church (but not when a then-Catholic is involved).

However, infidelity within six months also suggests a lack of understanding of the nature of marriage . . .

It has to be dealt with with your priest, but it’s “likely” that it can e dealt with.

As for the Orthodox, it would simply be a matter of “Oikonomia” and accepting the situation.

hawk
 
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