Question about marriages

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SpeakKindly

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Hello, I’m planning on getting married later this year. I have a quick question that I’m not really worried about, but I’m curious for some opinions.

About 10 or 11 years ago probably, when I was probably 15, possibly 16 at the oldest, I talked to people on the phone (long distance), instead of finding real life relationships.

One day one of these people insisted we get married, which I agreed with thinking we weren’t being serious. She got her friend on the phone as well and said he was ordained for weddings. I didn’t take it as serious, and I had no intention of getting married.

He read some vows and I said the “yes” and “I do’s”. I don’t think for a second that this was a legitimate wedding, but I know that the Church tends to have guidelines for marriage, would this even be a concern for annulment? I haven’t thought about it until now, as I was just letting my mind wonder. I of course want my real wedding to not have anything go wrong, so I’m just curious about this.
 
SpeakKindly said:
Hello, I’m planning on getting married later this year. I have a quick question that I’m not really worried about, but I’m curious for some opinions.

About 10 or 11 years ago probably, when I was probably 15, possibly 16 at the oldest, I talked to people on the phone (long distance), instead of finding real life relationships.

One day one of these people insisted we get married, which I agreed with thinking we weren’t being serious. She got her friend on the phone as well and said he was ordained for weddings. I didn’t take it as serious, and I had no intention of getting married.

He read some vows and I said the “yes” and “I do’s”. I don’t think for a second that this was a legitimate wedding, but I know that the Church tends to have guidelines for marriage, would this even be a concern for annulment? I haven’t thought about it until now, as I was just letting my mind wonder. I of course want my real wedding to not have anything go wrong, so I’m just curious about this.
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Is there any official record of this “wedding”? For example, is there a marriage license? (From what you have described, I doubt that there is any such thing.) If not, then I don’t think you need to worry about it. Considering that you did not consider it to be a legitimate wedding at the time, and considering that (from what you have described) most reasonable people would not have considered it to be a legitimate wedding, it seems clear that it was indeed NOT a legitimate wedding.

However, if this is troubling you, you could mention this situation to your parish priest, and see if he thinks that any investigation is needed, just to be sure.
 
PaulGH said:
Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming (real) marriage!
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Thank you very much! We’re very much looking forward to it. 🙂

lol thanks. There wasn’t anything official, I’m not sure who her so-called friend was. No witnesses, no rings, I never even met her. I think the “ordained friend” (I’m assuming through online courses with the state, if at all) through me off.

I was just a silly, and lonely kid who was in a bad place in life at the time. I wasn’t even practicing any faith, let alone baptized. I figured it wasn’t legitimate, I was just wondering mainly about the situation, I’ve been nitpicking silly thoughts about a lot of stuff lately (I’m not sure why).
 
PaulGH said:
Oh, and congratulations on your upcoming (real) marriage!
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By the way, if I know it wasn’t legitimate, and it would be anulled iif it was seriously investigated, would there be a reason for it to be investigated anyway? I’d assume that those investigations are for marriages that were considered legitimate at one point, either through the Church or state.
 
You were both under the age of consent. The “wedding” was not recorded anywhere. At least one of the participants (you) didn’t intend a marriage. I’d liken this to stage actors portraying a marrying couple in a high school play. No marriage actually took place.
 
SpeakKindly said:
By the way, if I know it wasn’t legitimate, and it would be anulled iif it was seriously investigated, would there be a reason for it to be investigated anyway? I’d assume that those investigations are for marriages that were considered legitimate at one point, either through the Church or state.
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Yes, I think that you are right.

This doesn’t describe what happened to you, but hypothetically, suppose that you had participated in something that looked like a legitimate wedding. For example, suppose that the wedding was in a church or in city hall, and that it was performed by an ordained minister or a legitimate government official, and that there was a marriage license recorded with the state and (if applicable) a certificate of marriage recorded in the church records. In this case, I am pretty sure that this putative marriage would have to be investigated by your diocese’s marriage tribunal, so that a declaration of nullity (an annulment) could be granted if appropriate. And I am pretty sure that this investigation would be necessary even if you were certain in your own mind that the wedding was not legitimate, because you did not give full consent or whatever.

But again, I really don’t think that this applies in your situation.
 
Was this concern brought on by the question about “attempted marriages”?
 
Given that you were underage, I’m not even sure if this marriage could be legally recorded as parents usually have to give consent for children under 18 at least.
 
No, it wasn’t a real marriage. First of all you were not of age. Secondly, marriages are not conducted by phone. You would have had to sign a document when you got married.
 
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