Question about my second marriage and conversion

[TamM]

I’m new here and have a question. First of all, God recently called me to the Catholic church and the pull is amazing. I am incredibly concerned though, as when I was 21 I married a man who after marriage verbally abused me and did illegal things that could of put us and our child in harms way. He was also a perpetual liar and addicted to pornography. I left him after less then one year and eventually divorced him and remarried a wonderful man, with whom I have a second child. My first husband and I were married in a United Church. How can I make my second marriage valid in the Catholic Church? (we married at city hall). will I still be able to convert? Sorry for the long question, this is really bothering me.

 

[TLM08]

I’m new here and have a question. First of all, God recently called me to the Catholic church and the pull is amazing. I am incredibly concerned though, as when I was 21 I married a man who after marriage verbally abused me and did illegal things that could of put us and our child in harms way. He was also a perpetual liar and addicted to pornography. I left him after less then one year and eventually divorced him and remarried a wonderful man, with whom I have a second child. My first husband and I were married in a United Church. How can I make my second marriage valid in the Catholic Church? (we married at city hall). will I still be able to convert? Sorry for the long question, this is really bothering me.

[Edited]

Check with any priest about getting your marriage “regularized” or “convalidated”… It sounds like you should be able to get the first marriage anulled since it was abusive!

 

[Seatuck]

[Edited]

Check with any priest about getting your marriage “regularized” or “convalidated”… It sounds like you should be able to get the first marriage anulled since it was abusive!

What are you basing that [Edited] comment on? You really don’t want to give advice about the anullment process without solid evidence.

 

[Seatuck]

I’m new here and have a question. First of all, God recently called me to the Catholic church and the pull is amazing. I am incredibly concerned though, as when I was 21 I married a man who after marriage verbally abused me and did illegal things that could of put us and our child in harms way. He was also a perpetual liar and addicted to pornography. I left him after less then one year and eventually divorced him and remarried a wonderful man, with whom I have a second child. My first husband and I were married in a United Church. How can I make my second marriage valid in the Catholic Church? (we married at city hall). will I still be able to convert? Sorry for the long question, this is really bothering me.

Hi Welcome to the Board.
You will want to call or stop in to the Rectory to make an appointment with the Pastor there. He can set you up with the folks who run the RCIA program to get you on your way into the church. He will also be able to advise you on the steps necessary to work toward making your marriage valid in the church. There will be paperwork involved and some discernment to be made about what was wrong with the first marriage that could be viewed as it not having been entered into properly. Catholics believe that marriage is permanent as long as we are still in this life. She understands that at times some people get divorced and she understands that some people make mistakes in judgement etc that cause a marriage to not be a valid one. Please be patient with the process. The priest will probably also have some pastoral advice for you .

 

[TLM08]

What are you basing that [Edited] comment on? You really don’t want to give advice about the anullment process without solid evidence.

Uhhhhh… Because I’m not qualified to give specific advice, I advised her to see a priest!

 

[thistle]

[Edited]

Check with any priest about getting your marriage “regularized” or “convalidated”… It sounds like you should be able to get the first marriage anulled since it was abusive!

What happens after the two are married has no impact on the validity of a marriage.

 

[Deacon_Ed]

I’m new here and have a question. First of all, God recently called me to the Catholic church and the pull is amazing. I am incredibly concerned though, as when I was 21 I married a man who after marriage verbally abused me and did illegal things that could of put us and our child in harms way. He was also a perpetual liar and addicted to pornography. I left him after less then one year and eventually divorced him and remarried a wonderful man, with whom I have a second child. My first husband and I were married in a United Church. How can I make my second marriage valid in the Catholic Church? (we married at city hall). will I still be able to convert? Sorry for the long question, this is really bothering me.

Here’s what will happen. You will need to approach a priest or deacon in the parish you are thinking of joining. The priest or deacon will help you to address the issues of your first marriage. Based upon what you have said, the marriage will need to be submitted to the Marriage Tribunal for evaluation to see if an annulment can be granted. If that is the case, and if the man you are now married to has not been married before, then it may be possible to convalidate your present marriage. If he has been married before then his previous marriage(s) will also need to be addressed by the Tribunal.

The process of becoming Catholic is called the Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults (RCIA) and you would be invited to go through that process.

May God bless you as you follow Hin on this journey of faith.

Deacon Ed

 

[Seatuck]

Uhhhhh… Because I’m not qualified to give specific advice, I advised her to see a priest!

It was the

It sounds like you should be able to get the first marriage anulled since it was abusive!

that I object to. Nothing in the conversation thus far showed evidence for a decree of nullity to be issued. That’s what I’m warning you against.

 

[puzzleannie]

your first step is to make an appointment with the priest at your nearest parish, or the parish where you have been attending Mass, know other Catholics whom you admire and who will be of help to you, or where you feel at home. He will guide on your individual marriage situation which is unique. Anything said here will be only general comment, and may not apply to your circumstances, so take it with a grain of salt. Also many who attempt to advise here on annulment, marriage and RCIA issues are not competent to do so, so you will have to disregard a lot of what will be said here.

You begin with the priest.
Yes, there is a solution to every problem, but it may take time, but that time of waiting is part of your necessary spiritual preparation for entering into full communion with the Catholic Church, and even the waiting, preparation, with its frustrations, will be essential and beneficial to your spiritual growth.

In all likelihood you will be able to obtain of decree of nullity of your first marriage (a statement by the canon law tribunal of the diocese that the conditions for a valid marriage did not exist at the time you married), and then take care of whatever is lacking in your current marriage to assure its validity.

You can begin preparation for this process by gathering relevant paperwork which include but not limited to: original marriage certificate and divorce papers, including any legal proceedings you were forced to put against your first husband, names and contact information for witnesses who knew and can give evidence as to circumstances surrounding your first marriage, documentation of your current marriage, baptismal status of you, your ex, and your current husband.

If your current spouse was married before, there will be another issue to work through, but it can be done, and in contrast to wht you may hear, is usually much less complicated than people fear.

A key piece of information to obtain: were any parties to past marriages ever baptized Catholic?

You can do this, the Holy Spirit is leading you and will guide your preparation every step of the way.

Welcome Home!