T
timeandeternity
Guest
I have not experienced this in a very long time, but for some reason my purity was being attacked almost all day on Monday. I haven’t had to struggle so much in years. A friend and I were actually making a road trip that day, and we were listening to CDs of the Jane Eyre audiobook. Normally I love this book, with its evocative writing and strange aura of darkness and mystery, and its romance that is so refreshingly pure, true, and intelligent in comparison to the usual drivel that’s churned out nowadays. But in my spiritually weakened state that day, even the completely innocuous romance was causing temptations, and was making my struggle harder. I wouldn’t say it was overwhelmingly likely that I was going to fall into serious sin, but there was certainly more danger than usual of my giving in to such temptations (usually there is little to none), and I was having to fight against bad thoughts that were being presented to my mind.
I know that I was culpable of at least some kind of sin for not removing this source of temptation (it wasn’t as if it would have been inconvenient for us to listen to something else, or offensive if I asked my friend if we could do so), and I really do regret having offended God in this way. I just can’t say for certain whether this situation would have been a near occasion or not. Whether or not it was, I will definitely be much more on guard against such situations in the future. However, I do not want to receive communion tomorrow if I am not at least in a state of grace, and if I did indeed sin mortally, I would like to schedule a confession before Sunday Mass.
I know that I was culpable of at least some kind of sin for not removing this source of temptation (it wasn’t as if it would have been inconvenient for us to listen to something else, or offensive if I asked my friend if we could do so), and I really do regret having offended God in this way. I just can’t say for certain whether this situation would have been a near occasion or not. Whether or not it was, I will definitely be much more on guard against such situations in the future. However, I do not want to receive communion tomorrow if I am not at least in a state of grace, and if I did indeed sin mortally, I would like to schedule a confession before Sunday Mass.