Question about need for annulment

[1seekingfaith]

Good Morning…
I have been attending Catholic mass with my husband for about 9 months now and have grown to enjoy it. My husband attended Catholic schools and graduated, but was not a practicing Catholic when we met/dated/then married. He is my second marriage. I was married for 10 years to my high school boyfriend when one day he told me he wanted a divorce. While I spent a few months trying to persuade him not to leave me and our two sons, he rented an apartment and moved out (and moved on) and began dating others. By the time our divorce was finalized, he was deep into another relationship, and I was a broken down fool sobbing at the courthouse. My children and I had no choice but to move on, so we did. After about 4 years, I met my now husband. After a year of dating, we married and later had our son.

Sorry…long backstory to lead to this question… if I want to attend RCIA in the fall and become part of the church, do I need to get an annulment from my first husband? I raised Baptist and up until 9 months ago or so, hadn’t realized that this was something I’d face if I wanted to further my faith and involvement with the Catholic church. I will do it if necessary, but wanted to know what other’s take on it is. My husband believes that the answer is no, that I do not need an annulment, and I’m very unsure after everything conflicting that I’ve read.

Thank you so much for taking time reading my story and answering my question.

 

[IrishAm]

Short answer, “yes.” Your prior marriage is considered valid until it is reviewed by a Tribunal. There may be other things that come into play that impact the logistics (who was or was not baptized at the time of your first marriage, for instance), but all that is determined by going through the process that is commonly (and someone else will jump in and explain why it is common but incorrect) called “getting an annulment.” Make an appointment with your pastor and get the ball rolling.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

IrishAm has it right.

If you ever exchanged vows in front of someone authorized to receive them – a priest, minister, judge, etc. – then the situation needs to be resolved. Once it is, you and your husband can exchange vows in the Catholic Church.

Talk with your priest about it. He’ll be able to steer you in the right direction and get things started. Acting sooner is better than later since you don’t want to be waiting for the Tribunal at the point where you’re ready to enter the Church.

Welcome home!

 

[PaulfromIowa]

The Church assumes that non-Catholic marriages are valid, unless proven otherwise. So, yes, you do need a decree of nullity to validly marry again in the Church.

 

[Usige]

In addition to the above, many parishes will limit what rites you may attend while the annulment is pending. You could attend classes, etc. but they might not let you proceed while the question of your first marriage is unresolved. This also impacts your current legal marriage. Your husband should not receive the Eucharist until you receive an annulment and you are married in the Church. As it stands the Church would consider your first marriage valid and the current legal marriage as an adulterous relationship. I don’t say that to be harsh, but to put the situation into perspective from Catholic teaching.

If you are planning to join RCIA in the fall I would approach the pastor now. This would give you a 5-6 month jump start on the annulment process. Depending on your diocese and the complexity of your case an annulment could take a year or more so the longer you wait the longer you delay reception into the Church.

 

[DakiniArtist]

Get on it right now!!! Mine took four years, and it was so worth it! After that you’ll need a convalidation or a radical sanation with hubby, which is easy peasy.

Ooh, so excited for you. Praying for you. :hug3:

 

[theyoungmonk]

You will need to have it looked into but it looks fairly likely you can get it sorted. You may want to ask about something called the “Pauline Privilege” or the “Petrine Privilege” if one or both of you was not baptised then these are mechanisms that allows you to marry a Catholic by having the old (non-sacramental) marriage dissolved. This can only be done if one or both of you was never baptised.

Until it is sorted you would need to live as “brother and sister”, as that is normally a requirement for being received. I will keep you in my prayers.