Question about NFP

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If you think about the alternative - refusing intimacy with your spouse, and making ultimatums, that doesn’t seem very productive. I can’t think of any situation where the Church asks a husband or wife to deny sex to their spouse long-term. Chastity within a marriage is very serious and must be discerned by both parties.
 
If I chose to marry some one who I knew was going to use contraception, then I believe I would be guilty of mortal sin because:
  1. it is grave matter
  2. I knew about it before hand
  3. I agreed to it anyway by choosing to marry that person.
Forcing me to accept contraception in my relationship would be a deal breaker for me. I would be unequaly yoked, which the Bible and Church teaches us to avoid.

If I know my spouse is going to contracept then I open myself to all the types she may choose. The shot, and the pill, are abortifacients. They will cause your conceived children to die. The IUD also causes spontaneous abortions… Women who use contraception have been know to have abortions when they “accidently” get pregnant anyway. **They feel it’s their right to have the abortion even when their husband disagrees. **I’ve seen it happen several times. It’s a heart breaking place to be, and was very traumatic to the men. They all ended in divorce. Imagine fielding that question, “Daddy why did you & mommy get divorced?” It is so incredibly sad. I would not wish that on anyone.

Hopefully the OP will be able to work out this contraception issue. Perhaps she has an interest in the Church? Once she learns more about the harmful effects of contraception. It kills hundreds of women each year, she may be open to learning about the wonderful, healthy method of NFP.
 
JackieMom said:
If you think about the alternative - refusing intimacy with your spouse, and making ultimatums, that doesn’t seem very productive. I can’t think of any situation where the Church asks a husband or wife to deny sex to their spouse long-term. Chastity within a marriage is very serious and must be discerned by both parties.
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Understood and agreed. Moving on… Thanks for the discussion!
 
Regina_Love said:
If I chose to marry some one who I knew was going to use contraception, then I believe I would be guilty of mortal sin because:
  1. it is grave matter
  2. I knew about it before hand
  3. I agreed to it anyway by choosing to marry that person.
Forcing me to accept contraception in my relationship would be a deal breaker for me. I would be unequaly yoked, which the Bible and Church teaches us to avoid.

If I know my spouse is going to contracept then I open myself to all the types she may choose. The shot, and the pill, are abortifacients. They will cause your conceived children to die. The IUD also causes spontaneous abortions… Women who use contraception have been know to have abortions when they “accidently” get pregnant anyway. **They feel it’s their right to have the abortion even when their husband disagrees. **I’ve seen it happen several times. It’s a heart breaking place to be, and was very traumatic to the men. They all ended in divorce. Imagine fielding that question, “Daddy why did you & mommy get divorced?” It is so incredibly sad. I would not wish that on anyone.

Hopefully the OP will be able to work out this contraception issue. Perhaps she has an interest in the Church? Once she learns more about the harmful effects of contraception. It kills hundreds of women each year, she may be open to learning about the wonderful, healthy method of NFP.
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Very much agreed on this point. By getting married in this particular situation you know you are putting your self in the position of having to use contraception. You don’t have to agree to marry someone when you know you have to use contraception.

It’s a difficult situation for sure. But it’s possible entering this marriage may not be wise on several levels already discussed.
 
Regina_Love said:
Hopefully the OP will be able to work out this contraception issue. Perhaps she has an interest in the Church? Once she learns more about the harmful effects of contraception. It kills hundreds of women each year, she may be open to learning about the wonderful, healthy method of NFP.
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That was our (wife & me) exact situation and it all worked out as you suggest! With the grace of the Holy Ghost…
 
JackieMom said:
No. That is more like the contracepting spouse asking the practicing Catholic to pick up some condoms on the way home from work. That, of course, would be facilitating the sin.
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Armor_of_Light said:
I have to disagree. Picking up the condoms is not the sin. Asking to pick up the condoms is not the sin. Using the condoms in the marital embrace is the sin. I’m still trying to digest

‘Vademecum for Confessors’ so bear with me…
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JackieMom is correct. The Catholic spouse cannot provide material support for contraception. The contracepting spouse would have to do all the work him/herself.
 
SonCatcher said:
JackieMom is correct. The Catholic spouse cannot provide material support for contraception. The contracepting spouse would have to do all the work him/herself.
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The problem here is you can’t go in to a marriage expecting to contracept and have it be a valid marriage. This is one of the impediments to marriage, so NFP must be worked out and agreed upon before hand. Then you have to brace your self for when the rubber really hits the road, because it’s not until then that you know what impact it will have on your marriage. Particularly given the situation.
 
Thanks everyone for clearing up my doubts! However is there a link to official church doctrine I can look to for confirmation?

Yes for those who guess i’m not married. You are right. I was just thinking of situations like this so that if the time comes at least I know what the other party is supposed to agree to beforehand.

The thing is, my country has only a minority of Catholics. Less than 10% while Christians (Catholics and Protestant) way less than 20%. So I feel its a very small population out there to date if I kept to just our religion. Furthermore, in my country I feel that there are not many Catholics who are strong in the religion while I see the protestants as being more faithful so sometimes I feel like looking outside the religion.

Also, what would u guys say about dating a protestant vs a non christian? Is the chances of it working out here any better?
 
James1990 said:
Thanks everyone for clearing up my doubts! However is there a link to official church doctrine I can look to for confirmation?
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Official church doctrine pertaining to what, the sinfulness of contraception? Humanae Vitae
James1990 said:
Also, what would u guys say about dating a protestant vs a non christian? Is the chances of it working out here any better?
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Be faithful to God, James, and do not compromise.
 
James1990 said:
Also, what would u guys say about dating a protestant vs a non christian? Is the chances of it working out here any better?
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Certainly dating a protestant is better.

The Church clearly recognises this in the way it approaches these different scenarios. “Mixed marriages” (between Catholic and non-Catholic Christian) are not encouraged but are much more tolerated than “disparity of cult” (marriage between Catholic and non-baptised person). A disparity of cult marriage requires formal dispensation to be validly entered, and such dispensation should only be given for “grave reasons”. A mixed marriage requires dispensation to be licit, but not for it to be valid. All a bit technical, but the point is marriage between Catholic and other Christians is not encouraged but typically accepted (depending on culture too), whereas marriage between Catholic and non-Christian is actively discouraged.

But be very careful…many protestants do not view Catholics as even being properly Christian, so to them it would be no better than a disparity of cult anyway.

Best to find a faithful Catholic to marry. A faithful protestant who is respecting of the Catholic faith may be a suitable spouse, but there are issues that would need to be addressed.

(PS I was once engaged to a protestant and the issue of NFP/contraception was a difficult one. That relationship ended and thankfully I found a lovely Catholic girl to marry!)
 
James1990 said:
Thanks everyone for clearing up my doubts! However is there a link to official church doctrine I can look to for confirmation?

Yes for those who guess i’m not married. You are right. I was just thinking of situations like this so that if the time comes at least I know what the other party is supposed to agree to beforehand.

The thing is, my country has only a minority of Catholics. Less than 10% while Christians (Catholics and Protestant) way less than 20%. So I feel its a very small population out there to date if I kept to just our religion. Furthermore, in my country I feel that there are not many Catholics who are strong in the religion while I see the protestants as being more faithful so sometimes I feel like looking outside the religion.

Also, what would u guys say about dating a protestant vs a non christian? Is the chances of it working out here any better?
Click to expand...
Does your diocese offer anything for young adults? Any mixers? I know in the diocese I was with when I was growing up they had a TON of young adult meet events, specifically for young catholic men and women to find potential faithful spouses.
 
James1990 said:
Thanks everyone for clearing up my doubts! However is there a link to official church doctrine I can look to for confirmation?

Yes for those who guess i’m not married. You are right. I was just thinking of situations like this so that if the time comes at least I know what the other party is supposed to agree to beforehand.

The thing is, my country has only a minority of Catholics. Less than 10% while Christians (Catholics and Protestant) way less than 20%. So I feel its a very small population out there to date if I kept to just our religion. Furthermore, in my country I feel that there are not many Catholics who are strong in the religion while I see the protestants as being more faithful so sometimes I feel like looking outside the religion.

Also, what would u guys say about dating a protestant vs a non christian? Is the chances of it working out here any better?
Click to expand...
If you marry a non-Christian, how will you raise your kids? “Daddy thinks Jesus is the Messiah and the only way your soul can be saved is to worship Him. Mommy thinks that’s all made up and believes you can only go to Heaven if _____. Pick carefully, kids!”
 
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