Question about not attending mass/mortal sin

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I didn’t know this till now… but my mom read in a Catholic newspaper we get, just today that not attending mass is a MORTAL sin.

well then I have a problem. I’ve been off an on with attending mass since childhood. I suffer from OCD… Its very hard for me to sit through a mass and get anything out of it. I can’t pay attention, I’m frantically worrying about the people coughing around me, my attention is broken very quickly by a little kid crying, I feel like I’m suffocating, trapped between germy people… it got worse when the swine flu broke out. I know its irrational, but nothing about OCD is rational. It’s almost like having a compulsion, obsessive behavior and attention deficit disorder all in one.

It got to the point my mom basically said, if I’m going to have a panic attack every time I go, don’t come. and when I do go… I can’t tell you half the things discussed because of my inability to focus.

I started trying to get more involved hoping that will help… I’m TRYING to be a reader (my first time reading is on the 20th… but I’m already panicking about being there and using the mic others have used the mass before…then there’s public speaking… I can sing in front of a crowd, but speaking is almost like standing naked in front of people.)

I’d like to do cantoring… Canting… not sure what the term would be. I’d like to sing for mass…

I even take anti-anxiety pills… althought those make me tired so I get to the point that I don’t care.

So I just don’t go except every so often for like important days of obligation, the baptisms of my nephews and now when I do readings as I’m about to this time.

The preist at my old church said… God isn’t found in the church, he’s everywhere and we must hold him in our hearts everywhere we go… So I knew it’s better to go church, but I didn’t think it was a MORTAL sin…

so what happens if you’re sick, or have OCD, or what not?
 
It is not a mortal sin if you are prevented from going because of illness, including a psychiatric illness like OCD. That is between you, a trusted priest, and a doctor if necessary.

I would not call a priest who doesn’t think going to Mass is important a “trusted priest.” Avoid anyone who says “God isn’t found in the Church” blah blah blah.

HOWEVER, if the main reason you go is because you “don’t get anything out of it,” go anyway if you can. It’s great to get conscious spiritual gifts from the Mass, but the more basic reason we go is because we offer our worship to God. Going out of obligation is better than not going, and no problem if the benefit to you does not come immediately.
 
a mortal sin is when you CAN go to Mass, but decide not too, cause you’d rather sleep or watch tv or something else…

if you struggle with OCD, or an illness, I think that changes the situation?

I think the best thing would be to talk to a good priest 🙂
maybe an arrangement can be made and someone can come and bring you the Eucharist?

I also think that often it’s good to go to Mass even if you don’t feel like you’re getting anything out of it… often God works in our souls without us even knowing it 🙂

God bless
 
the priest at my new church where I go now holds a sunday evening mass on the first sunday of every month. (we have a big church but not many people… he’s hoping adding an extra evening mass will bring in more people.)

I like that mass. there’s almost nobody there so I don’t have to worry about the coughing and sneezing, or having to shake hands.

but it’s only once a month.

It’s not that “I don’t get anything from mass” because I just don’t get anything out of it… I don’t get anything out of it because I’m too distracted. It’s like people who bring kids to church and spend 90% of the time keeping them quite, taking them out when they scream or taking them to the bathroom. They’re too distracted to really listen to the message being given.

that’s kind of how I am. I get distracted by the coughing, by noise, Most people who suffer from OCD like I do, tend to have attention deficit disorder as well because we focus so much on other things that we can’t let it go.

My other priest didn’t say going to church was unnecessary… he just understood my condition and told me that God is found everywhere and should be carried with me all the time, that he’s not found in the church alone. It was aimed more at me due to my condition I think.

I suffer from OCD, asthma and anxiety (panic attacks). So I think he was kind of letting me know I’m not damned if I don’t go to church… but then I read about it being a mortal sin in the newspaper today.

I’m trying to be more pro-active. like I said, I’m going to be the reader on the 20th. My first time… so I’m having a bit more anxiety… but I’m hoping being more “in” with the church, I’ll be more motivated to push myself to get there every sunday… but I don’t know, we’ll see how it goes on Sunday. If I royally mess up I may be too embarrassed to ever go back. lol

So I’m stuck between a rock and a hard place. Mass is hard for me, OCD and anxiety makes you unmotivated, nervous, and the medication I take makes me tired… so I just can’t get my body moving. (the spirit is willing but the body is weak as they say)

but the thought of damnation is harder. lol. kinda sucks to have OCD and be catholic I guess.

I want to try to get there more often… and work my way up to every sunday… hopefully though God won’t mind a slow start… I need to work my way up to it. I can’t just be like everyone else and say “ok I’m ready to do this” I have to prepare myself physically and mentally. it’s that hard for me.

anyhoo. I guess I should go practice my readings for the 100th time. (This Sunday the first reading is from the prophet micah, and the second reading is a letter to the Hebrews) Right off the bat I get a word that’s hard to pronounce… “Bethlehem-Ephrathah”… though I think I finally got it… (it’s Eff-ruh-th-ah)

that’s how nervous I get. I obsess over it until it’s over. Its been keeping me up at night worrying until I take an anxiety pill.

just like the whole idea of being damned for not going to church every sunday will keep me up obsessing about it.
 
do you think it would help if you offered all your distractions at Mass for souls in purgatory or something? ,maybe this is one way of turning something bad to good 🙂
 
From Canon Law:
Can. 1248 §1 The obligation of assisting at Mass is satisfied wherever Mass is celebrated in a catholic rite either on a holyday itself or on the evening of the previous day.
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§2 If it is impossible to assist at a eucharistic celebration, either because no sacred minister is available or for some other grave reason, the faithful are strongly recommended to take part in a liturgy of the Word, if there be such in the parish church or some other sacred place, which is celebrated in accordance with the provisions laid down by the diocesan Bishop; or to spend an appropriate time in prayer, whether personally or as a family or, as occasion presents, in a group of families.
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Try to go every Sunday. But if you have a panic attack, it isn’t a sin at all to leave, even if it is before mass even begins. If you are able to stay but you feel extremely distracted, you should consider how pleased God is that you are there even though it is so hard for you.

When you suffer from all these distractions at mass you probably feel frustrated and empty (like what’s the use in going since it’s so difficult and you don’t feel like you’re getting much out of it or really praying well). And, as you said, you just can’t stop thinking about the germs and you can’t focus on the mass. To ‘offer it up’ just means to tell the Father ahead of time that you will put up with these very unpleasant feelings and experiences and will offer this as a sacrifice to Him.

In order to psych yourself up to go to mass on Sunday - or Saturday evening - it might help you to remember Jesus’ agony in the garden. He knew what was going to happen to Him, that he would be hated and spit on and whipped and tortured to death. Humanly speaking, He really was afraid and wanted to avoid all that. But He determined to do it because He loved the Father and He loved us. But it wasn’t easy for him to do.

Ask God for the courage and determination to go to mass. Tell Him that you love Him and want to show your love by obeying Him.

Is it a mortal sin not to go to mass? Objectively, deliberately missing mass without a serious reason is a mortal sin of refusing to keep holy the Lord’s day and of disobeying a law of the church.

But if you plan to go, and you try to go, but you can’t make yourself to do it, that’s not a mortal sin. It may be a venial sin or no sin at all. God knows what your intention is and understands how your mental illness and your medication is affecting you. God actually respects you. He never expects you to do what’s impossible for you. With His help, you can sometimes do things that may surprise you.

You said “kinda sucks to have OCD and be catholic I guess”. You are so wrong! Having OCD sucks. But as a Catholic you get to receive Jesus (the healer) in the Eucharist. And you can be sure of His forgiveness when you confess your sins. And you know that He never condemns you or turns away from you. He’s patient; He’s pleased with your efforts even when you fail.

Best of luck with reading on Sunday.
 
Did anyone watch Larry King last night? He had on his show Howie Mandel, the host of Deal or No Deal, who happens to have OCD. Very interesting discussion. I guess it’s a more serious disease than I had realized. And very few actually know how much you’re suffering inside.
 
\well then I have a problem. I’ve been off an on with attending mass since childhood. I suffer from OCD… Its very hard for me to sit through a mass and get anything out of it.\

You don’t actully think the Mass is all about what YOU get out of it, do you?
 
Seems as if that’s a harsh thing to say to someone who is genuinely trying to keep the faith and do something for the Church at the same time.
 
bpbasilphx said:
\well then I have a problem. I’ve been off an on with attending mass since childhood. I suffer from OCD… Its very hard for me to sit through a mass and get anything out of it.\

You don’t actully think the Mass is all about what YOU get out of it, do you?
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🤷

Maybe you should go back and actually READ my post, because you obviously didn’t or you just don’t get it.

**This isn’t about ME **it’s about OCD, anxiety, and not going to church, and when I’m in church, having issues with paying attention due to my OCD and anxiety and not coming away with anything from the mass… and how not attending mass because of these issues works when it comes to sin.

****And since I don’t speak for my neighbor, for my mom, for the priest, for God or for you…

yes it IS** all about what** I** get out of it.**
 
on a side note, thanks to the rest of you who actually paid attention to what I was getting at in my original post, and for all your thoughtful answers.

So far everything seems to be getting better. I did my reading… I had a panic attack prior to and almost fainted, but I pulled through and did it…

Christmas the priest set up a special section for those allergic to insensce to sit… I was all alone in that section which was nice for me… (Though I had to leave right after the our father during the sign of peace part, cause the smell got so intense I couldn’t breathe… I’m asthmatic and that stuff sets it off like you wouldn’t believe. I think it’s more the thickness of the smoke than the smell…)

I missed that sunday because I was emotionally drained from the stress of the holidays and physically couldn’t get out of bed… but I went to church for the Solemnity of Mary on Friday, and I’m going to 5pm mass tomorrow night. (occassionally our priest does a 5pm sunday mass for those who’d otherwise not come in the morning.) its nice cause there’s rarely anyone there.

I’m also going to go to the father’s open house. Once a year he opens his house to play christmas music (he sings like Luciano Pavarotti), show off his christmas village and share christmas treats as well as tell an interesting story about Christ’s birth that we may not otherwise know…

I’ve never gone… but I figure I’ll try more things to push myself to be more involved at church and see if I can’t get myself over my panic attacks and over some of my OCD issues that keep me from mass.
 
If you have a serious reason, it isn’t even a venial sin to miss Sunday Mass. It sounds like you have the desire. I saw you took exception to what bpbasilphx said. I think it sounded worse than it might have. It wasn’t very diplomatic, but there was an important truth.

You may have heard Catholics talk about assisting at Mass. Sometimes we talk about attending, but I think assisting is more precise. By our presence, by our desire to unite our own prayers with those of the priest, we are contributing to the redemption of the world. Our faith teaches that, and if going to Mass makes for mental suffering, your* assistance* might be more valuable than perhaps you have considered. You might gain more merit for the Church than maybe you have considered. I think this is what he meant…and it might be worth thinking about.
 
The Mass attendance rule oppressed me for years. I finally decided that it really is the Church rule that I disagree with most.I think the rule against artificial contraception makes more sense than the rule on Mass attendance.

There are Catholics who don’t think twice on disobeying many Catholic rules, birth control as a glaring example, but pride themselves on their Mass attendance.

The idea that more disciplined people with more regular habits are more worthy of Heaven is absurd. People who are a little lazy and want to goof off on their day off are in mortal sin? Absurd I say.
 
The Mass attendance rule oppressed me for years. I finally decided that it really is the Church rule that I disagree with most.I think the rule against artificial contraception makes more sense than the rule on Mass attendance.
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The Church made the rule because its one of the few ways of getting some people to actually go. The Holy Mass is one of the greatest expressions of the Lord’s love of us and many either don’t know that or don’t care and that’s why they don’t want to attend and be so very close to the Lord who saved them. Hence it became an obligation, but really it shouldn’t be. We should want to go to Mass.

Back to the OP - Try to go. If you can’t make it through and have to leave, the Lord understands. Like has been said previously, perhaps you could offer your suffering up to the Lord and unite it with His own suffering. This might make it more bearable for you and become something postive.
 
They threaten people with Hell because it’s the only way to get them to go to Church?

How about the Protestant churches? They are well attended. They don’t threaten people with Hell if they don’t attend.

I tell you, it’s the most illogical rule in the Church. I just don’t believe one person ever went to Hell because they missed Mass. I think that is a falsehood. I don’t believe it for one second.
 
Middleman said:
How about the Protestant churches? They are well attended. They don’t threaten people with Hell if they don’t attend.

I tell you, it’s the most illogical rule in the Church. I just don’t believe one person ever went to Hell because they missed Mass. I think that is a falsehood. I don’t believe it for one second.
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Actually it’s a Church law that missing Sunday Mass is a mortal sin. The commandment “Keep holy the Lord’s Day” applies to everyone; however the Church tells how anyone who has to abide by Canon Law is to do it. If they wanted to tell us to spend all day in a Church on Sunday without talking to anyone, then we’d have to abide by that rule as well. So an hour Mass isn’t all that bad. 🙂
 
I just don’t believe one person ever went to Hell because they missed Mass. I think that is a falsehood. I don’t believe it for one second.
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I don’t want to derail this thread more than it has been because that won’t help Monica4316 and I don’t want to argue, but it might not be a mortal sin to miss a Mass. Like all mortal sins, there are circumstances. The rule is not “You miss a Mass, you go to Hell.” The rule is better explained as, “If you miss a Mass for no good reason, knowing that the Lord both requested you to be there (Remembering the Sabbath) and wants you to be there (due to His love toward you), you have rejected Him and hence Hell.” Protestant Services aren’t well attended because they lack a rule, but because of great love and respect toward the Lord. What’s sad is when us, Catholics, don’t do the same when we have the treasure of having the Lord physically with us.

Of course, technically, even if one dies with a mortal sin on their soul doesn’t mean they go straight to hell. If they repent and are truly sorrow and simply couldn’t get to confession, then they are in the mercy of the Lord. He is not restricted by sacraments who can and cannot join Him, but it just seems so much easier to work with His graces, enjoy His love and not have such a shadow hanging over your soul.

Monica4316 - I just thought of another thing, since its the crowd that helps trigger your panic attacks, maybe you could go to an earlier/later mass that isn’t as well attended and sit away from them. Maybe that would help.
 
Iamdee said:
Christmas the priest set up a special section for those allergic to insensce to sit… I was all alone in that section which was nice for me…
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I don’t like the sardine can atmosphere myself. Thanks for the suggestion. 👍
 
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