Question about Parishes

[bwdiaz]

(I’m not sure if this is the right forum on CAF to ask this question in, so just let me know where I should post i there is a better spot. Thanks!)

I’m returning to the church. This process has been going on for a while but I’m really starting to feel more comfortable. Anyway, I’m wondering what the rules are for attending a parish.

I’ve just been going to my closest parish, and when I checked my diocesan website, I seem to be in the correct one. However, I’m a little priest-shy and haven’t had the courage to talk to the priest, and to be honest, I’m not even sure I know his name (there is an associate and I don’t know which is which). I have a long process ahead of me. To be in communion with the church, I will have to get my marriage convalidated. And while my husband has been pretty accepting of late of my spiritual practice, he still feels pretty negatively towards the church (and most religion), so I’d like to have a spiritual advisor who will be sensitive towards this. To this point, hubby has not agreed to let me baptize our daughter, and I’m pregnant again, so I need an advisor who can help me in this regard as well. Last but not least, there are hardly any children in my parish. Since Easter, there has only been two times any came forward when the priest called for them to come forward to be led off during Mass, and those were visitors.

I’ve been thinking I might want to consider going to another parish. There are tons of them in my area. I’d like to find a priest that will help me with my spiritual formation (I haven’t been confirmed), help me with my marital formation, and will help me bring my children up in the church (so ideally there should be some other families). But I don’t want to break any rules. It’s bad enough to not be able to take communion as it is. Do you think my fear has gotten the better of me or should I consider going to another parish?

Thanks for your advice in this matter!

 

[OldRedleg]

You are not bound by Canon Law to join any particular parish based on the geographic location, or proximity, of a parish church to your home.

Your instict to join a parish with more families with children your child’s age is probably a good one. It will help you make connections much faster. However, don’t sell the pastor of the parish you have been attending short. I would still approach him nad discuss your concerns and desires with him.

You are in my prayers.

 

[choy]

(I’m not sure if this is the right forum on CAF to ask this question in, so just let me know where I should post i there is a better spot. Thanks!)

I’m returning to the church. This process has been going on for a while but I’m really starting to feel more comfortable. Anyway, I’m wondering what the rules are for attending a parish.

I’ve just been going to my closest parish, and when I checked my diocesan website, I seem to be in the correct one. However, I’m a little priest-shy and haven’t had the courage to talk to the priest, and to be honest, I’m not even sure I know his name (there is an associate and I don’t know which is which). I have a long process ahead of me. To be in communion with the church, I will have to get my marriage convalidated. And while my husband has been pretty accepting of late of my spiritual practice, he still feels pretty negatively towards the church (and most religion), so I’d like to have a spiritual advisor who will be sensitive towards this. To this point, hubby has not agreed to let me baptize our daughter, and I’m pregnant again, so I need an advisor who can help me in this regard as well. Last but not least, there are hardly any children in my parish. Since Easter, there has only been two times any came forward when the priest called for them to come forward to be led off during Mass, and those were visitors.

I’ve been thinking I might want to consider going to another parish. There are tons of them in my area. I’d like to find a priest that will help me with my spiritual formation (I haven’t been confirmed), help me with my marital formation, and will help me bring my children up in the church (so ideally there should be some other families). But I don’t want to break any rules. It’s bad enough to not be able to take communion as it is. Do you think my fear has gotten the better of me or should I consider going to another parish?

Thanks for your advice in this matter!

while its strongly encouraged for you to attend and support the parish of your geographical location, there’s nothing that forces you to

 

[PatriceA]

I would double check with the parish you are interested in, because there are some parishes around me that you must reside within that particular zip code or they will not let you join their parish.

 

[CoffeeHound]

Since Easter, there has only been two times any came forward when the priest called for them to come forward to be led off during Mass, and those were visitors.

Have you tried different Mass times? At our parish, all of the families with kids tend to go to the same Mass, so if you come at a different time, it seems like we have no kids in the parish when we have over a hundred that attend weekly.

Is it common to lead kids off during Mass? I’ve been to protestant services that do that, but I’ve never seen it in a Catholic Mass.

 

[choy]

Have you tried different Mass times? At our parish, all of the families with kids tend to go to the same Mass, so if you come at a different time, it seems like we have no kids in the parish when we have over a hundred that attend weekly.

Is it common to lead kids off during Mass? I’ve been to protestant services that do that, but I’ve never seen it in a Catholic Mass.

theres a program called Liturgy of the Word for Children

this would substitute for the readings for children. i wish i had this when i was younger. there’s nothing better to bore kids than readings and the homily. they just can’t appreciate it at this point in their lives yet. and this is only for kids below the age for PREP/CCD

 

[puzzleannie]

my advice is to simply call the number of the church office and ask for an appointment with the priest to discuss an urgent pastoral matter. In this interview you should bring up these concerns. Tell him frankly what you have said about choosing a parish, what the needs of your family and children are etc. He might very well suggest, for instance, joining a neighborhood parish that has a school, but he will definitely welcome you and tell you how to proceed.

Welcome home!

 

[FrDavid96]

(I’m not sure if this is the right forum on CAF to ask this question in, so just let me know where I should post i there is a better spot. Thanks!)

I’m returning to the church. This process has been going on for a while but I’m really starting to feel more comfortable. Anyway, I’m wondering what the rules are for attending a parish.

…

bwdiaz,
You might not realize it this way, but there are different answers to your questions.

First of all, you are free to attend Mass at any parish of your own choosing, anywhere. You are likewise able to choose any priest for your own spiritual direction–in fact, you not only “may” do this, but you should do it. However, realize that just because you can choose any priest, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the priest you choose will have the ability to spend a lot of time with you on this.

As for parish memebership, please realize that a Catholic is a member of the parish in whose territory he actually has a residence. That means that you are not at all able to choose any parish–you are automatically a member of whatever parish territory includes your own home (this is canon law), that might or might not be the parish closest to your house. It all depends on what the parish boundaries might be.

Since you’re talking about baptism and convalidation, this becomes extremely relevant for you. No matter what, you will reach some point when your own proper pastor has to be involved in this process–and that means the pastor of the parish where you live.

It becomes even more relevant for you personally because I see that you’re in the Archdiocese of Philadelphia. In recent years, that diocese has been very strict on enforcing parish territory.

So, again, please understand that you can attend Mass anywhere you choose; however when it comes time for the “administrative” things you’ll have to deal with in the near future, you will have to go through your own proper parish.