We all like to think our loved ones have been saved but we do not know. It has nothing to do with how nice or horrible a person has been during their life. Whether a person goes to Hell or is saved is determined by the state of their soul at death. If they die in a state of mortal sin they go to Hell. If they die in a state of grace they are saved (either straight to Heaven or Purgatory first (only God knows how long they spend there) but both mean saved).My mom passed away over 6 years ago, my dad died died almost 23 years ago. I’ve always assumed they were in Heaven but lately I’ve been wondering about that. I usually assume that if a person isn’t horrible, they go to Heaven, but maybe I’m wrong. Is there any way we can be sure that our loved ones ended up in Heaven with our Lord? Is there any way to know how long one would be in purgatory, if that’s where they originally went?
No. We leave that up to God and practice the virtue of Hope.Is there any way we can be sure that our loved ones ended up in Heaven with our Lord?
No. Have Masses offered for your loved ones, and again trust in God.Is there any way to know how long one would be in purgatory, if that’s where they originally went?
This is a matter worthy of prayer. Pray to Jesus. Ask him for some sign or indication of whether your parents are saved or not. You might even pray to your mom and dad asking them to give you some sign.My mom passed away over 6 years ago, my dad died died almost 23 years ago. I’ve always assumed they were in Heaven but lately I’ve been wondering about that. I usually assume that if a person isn’t horrible, they go to Heaven, but maybe I’m wrong. Is there any way we can be sure that our loved ones ended up in Heaven with our Lord? Is there any way to know how long one would be in purgatory, if that’s where they originally went?
Thanks 105Lynne and everyone else.I lost my mother 2 years ago. This woman was an absolute angel…no, really. An absolute ANGEL! Never complained about anything, total faith in our Lord, humble and gentle, generous to a fault, so very loving, etc… As wonderful as she was, I promised her just hours before she died that I would never stop praying for her–and I haven’t. That’s one promise I intend to keep for the rest of my days. It’s hard to imagine that she could have gone anywhere but straight to Heaven. She had confession and communion one week before her death, last rites, wore a scapular, and suffered so much pain (breast cancer, which spread to her bones and her brain). But, you never know. Even if she IS in Heaven, those prayers for her won’t to to waste. I’ll never stop! No harm in you prayin for a loved one, too, just in case!
There is no way to know, but you should pray for them. Pray that God will forgive them their sins and bring them into His glorious presence. At the worst it’s ineffective, and as someone put in another thread, sometimes prayer is meant to change us ourselves. At best though, you have helped them in their journey.My mom died in 2007. She had alzheimers and because of it, I did not even call a priest to come and see her during her last days here on earth. At the time, unfortunately I was not too knowledgeble of my wonderful faith. After reading so much on this forum I have come to realize that I made a very grave mistake in not having her get her last rights.
This pains me so much. In my mind I thought that she would not even understand what was going on and therefore could not really receive communion.
She used to go to church every sunday before getting sick, then it became too hard for me to take her because she had trouble walking. She was very devoted to God and always lived a good honest life.
So, what I am wondering is " Since she had not had a confession in a long time, not gone to church in a long time" was she in Gods grace?
My dad while he was sick, was given communion without confession or having gone to mass in a long time. Didn’t that constitute a Mortal Sin?
Does it mean that they are both in Hell?
Dear One -My mom died in 2007. She had alzheimers and because of it, I did not even call a priest to come and see her during her last days here on earth. At the time, unfortunately I was not too knowledgeable of my wonderful faith. After reading so much on this forum I have come to realize that I made a very grave mistake in not having her get her last rights.
This pains me so much. In my mind I thought that she would not even understand what was going on and therefore could not really receive communion.
She used to go to church every sunday before getting sick, then it became too hard for me to take her because she had trouble walking. She was very devoted to God and always lived a good honest life.
Absolutely. A persons with Alzheimer’s mentally ages backwards in a sense. They reach a point where they can no longer understand and thus they can no longer sin. Sin requires a level of understanding.So, what I am wondering is " Since she had not had a confession in a long time, not gone to church in a long time" was she in Gods grace?
Well - since you have given us no particulars of your dad’s condition, age etc…we cannot say. I would suggest talking to your priest about this, or even better, his priest if he is still around. The priest that knew you dad would know best his situation.My dad while he was sick, was given communion without confession or having gone to mass in a long time. Didn’t that constitute a Mortal Sin?
NO-NO-NO It does not mean this. Mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge and full consent of will. Can you honestly say that your parents fit these requirements??Does it mean that they are both in Hell?
****Thank you James for your kind and understanding words!Dear One -
My DW also suffers from Alzheimer’s as did my father who passed away in 2006. So I know what you are going through.
Be at peace. Your actions, which stemmed from a lack of understanding were not “a grave mistake”. Do not let this unduly upset you.
Since your dear mother went to church up until she was simply not able to any more, it follows that her mental capacity had diminished to the point where she could no longer understand “sin” and thus she could not sin. Bear this fact in mind.
Absolutely. A persons with Alzheimer’s mentally ages backwards in a sense. They reach a point where they can no longer understand and thus they can no longer sin. Sin requires a level of understanding.
Well - since you have given us no particulars of your dad’s condition, age etc…we cannot say. I would suggest talking to your priest about this, or even better, his priest if he is still around. The priest that knew you dad would know best his situation.
NO-NO-NO It does not mean this. Mortal sin requires grave matter, full knowledge and full consent of will. Can you honestly say that your parents fit these requirements??
Please be at peace on this matter.
I firmly believe that Alzheimer’s is a form of “purgatory” right here on earth - and not just for those with the disease but for those who care for them as well. So, your mother may have worked off most of her purgatory time before she passed away.
Peace
James
No Problem. I have dealt and am dealing with these things now - as are many thousands of others.****Thank you James for your kind and understanding words!