Question about Reconciliation

[GoneAstray]

How important is going into detail when going to Confession? I do not have many opportunities to go to Confession and when I can the time is very limited. This is due to the priest’s availability. I have gone a couple times since this new pastor took over and now call it Speed Confession. I would approximate the time limit as five minutes. In fact, I now write my sins down because one time I forgot one and right before Absolution mentioned that and he just said “I forgive all your sins.” I’m more used to priest asking questions to clarify things than blanket forgiving. Maybe I’m not clear enough. Which brings me back to my original question. I have a sin I really can’t name. I know it’s wrong but to explain why would take too much time. It’s like if you say you steal and you don’t mean a pack of gum. You mean you stole thousands of dollars. Can I just assume that if I give it a name God will know what I’m saying? Does the priest have to understand it too to give Absolution?

 

[PaulfromIowa]

We confess sins in number and kind. No need for much detail, unless asked. The priest should understand your confession. If, for example, one steals a thousand dollars from one’s employer, say exactly that.

 

[nodito]

You need to confess mortal sins in kind and number, and only so much detail as is needed to affect the gravity of the sin.

So you ought to clarify that you murdered your father rather than a stranger or that you stole $1000 rather than a pack of gum, but you don’t need to explain that you used a condom vs withdrawal when confessing contraception or the particular impure thoughts you entertained when confessing impure thoughts…

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

Detail is necessary if it changes the nature of the sin. “I stole a pack of gum” is different from “I stole thousands of dollars.”

If you’re feeling rushed in the confessional, perhaps it would be better to make an appointment so that you know you’ll have more time. And if it’s the priest’s “style” to rush through things, perhaps it would be better to go to another parish.

 

[eazyduzit]

We all break the 10th commandment nearly every day, but I dare you to ask a priest how many times he has actually heard people confess it. Martin Luther as a young monk, spent 3 to 4 hours confessing his sins every day.

 

[Bonnie]

We all break the 10th commandment nearly every day…

Speak for yourself. Coveting what others have has never been a problem for me, but I always remember that where there is no temptation, there is no virtue. I definitely do not covet my neighbor’s husband - really - who would want him?

Martin Luther as a young monk, spent 3 to 4 hours confessing his sins every day.

That’s a good example of scrupulosity, not virtue.

 

[Antegin]

"EASYDUZIT:

Originally Posted by eazyduzit View Post
Martin Luther as a young monk, spent 3 to 4 hours confessing his sins every day.

That’s a good example of scrupulosity, not virtue.

If true, it was also evidence of pride before he fell into heresy.

 

[ChibiViolet]

If you do not know the name of your mortal sin, than look it up. It is important the priest understands what you’re saying.

 

[Lily_Bernans]

We all break the 10th commandment nearly every day, but I dare you to ask a priest how many times he has actually heard people confess it. Martin Luther as a young monk, spent 3 to 4 hours confessing his sins every day.

Before someone thinks Martin Luther was just horribly sinful, I think we should make it clear that he was a very good monk, who was tortured with scrupulosity. His “Tower Experience” brought him peace when he developed his theology of the Cross and decided that we are saved by faith alone. He didn’t even want to break with the Catholic Church, he just wanted it to change, and that can’t be.

 

[Antegin]

Before someone thinks Martin Luther was just horribly sinful, I think we should make it clear that he was a very good monk, who was tortured with scrupulosity. His “Tower Experience” brought him peace when he developed his theology of the Cross and decided that we are saved by faith alone. He didn’t even want to break with the Catholic Church, he just wanted it to change, and that can’t be.

Scrupulosity could be a prideful belief that one could be perfect or above the human condition which is flawed. That pride can lead one to abuse Confession, puffing up the person by showing how holy he is with sins that aren’t really sins.

Spending hours in the confessional could also mean one disagreed with the confessor and tried to persuade him. Again, it is not necessarily a sign of righteousness.

Another cause is ignorance. I find it difficult to believe that Luther had scruples due to ignorance as he was a brilliant theologian. He did, however, break from the Church.

Scrupulosity may not be a sign of holiness but of sinful and unrepentant pride. But only God can judge good or bad.

 

[Bonnie]

Scrupulosity may not be a sign of holiness but of sinful and unrepentant pride. But only God can judge good or bad.

Scruples are generally considered to be a mental illness, not a sin. Let’s not pile more guilt on the sufferers.

 

[CB_Catholic]

Scruples are generally considered to be a mental illness, not a sin. Let’s not pile more guilt on the sufferers.

I have a lovely 13 year old granddaughter with scruples and mild OCD. She at times suffers enough guilt without someone piling more on her. Thankfully she is receiving counseling for this, but yes, she truly suffers, and it is not pride.

 

[Antegin]

Scruples are generally considered to be a mental illness, not a sin. Let’s not pile more guilt on the sufferers.

Who calls it mental illness? Do you have a reference for that? I can give you Catholic sources for pride, also for ignorance. As a matter of fact, in reading about scrupulosity from Catholic sources, mental illness is mentioned as a minor cause.

Most converts experience scrupulosity as neophytes (usually from ignorance). It’s the reason why the RCIA recommends to new Catholics that they confess to the same priest for their first year. Would you seriously suggest that most converts are mentally ill?

I’ll be back with references.

 

[Antegin]

Scruples are generally considered to be a mental illness, not a sin. Let’s not pile more guilt on the sufferers.

I understand that your loved one’s illness has a great impact on your life. But to say that all people who have scruples are mentally ill and will be injured by guilt is a gross generalization that is insulting to many people who have experienced scruples and have no mental illness. It would also deny them the correct cure for their scruples.

The DSM which your child’s psychiatrist uses to diagnose and formulate treatment does not mention scruples as a symptom or resulting behavior of OCD. mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ocd/basics/definition/con-20027827

While there are some people who suffer from neurosis that manifest as scruples, many converts, for example, suffer from scruples out of inexperience in the Catholic life, many fallen Catholics who become reverts experience scruples because they’ve been gone so long they don’t understand how bountiful God’s Mercy is, some people are so taken with their goodness, they don’t remember or don’t believe they have real sins so they confess nonsense thinking the confessor will see how holy they are. If most people have experienced scruples at some point in their lives, do you believe most Catholics to be mentally ill?

Priests train very hard to distinguish between the ignorant, the proud and the mentally ill. In fact, a seminarian who has completed his studies but does not demonstrate the judgment necessary for these and other issues can be denied ordination. A priest already ordained can be denied the faculty to hear confessions and desked.

 

[Bonnie]

I understand that your loved one’s illness has a great impact on your life. But to say that all people who have scruples are mentally ill and will be injured by guilt is a gross generalization that is insulting to many people who have experienced scruples and have no mental illness. It would also deny them the correct cure for their scruples.

Not my “loved one.” And I said “generally,” not “all.”

 

[Antegin]

Not my “loved one.” And I said “generally,” not “all.”

Not even generally are scruples a mental illness. This is a spiritual affliction except for the few cases involving neurosis. A priest has to differentiate between them and apply the appropriate remedy.

 

[GoneAstray]

If you do not know the name of your mortal sin, than look it up. It is important the priest understands what you’re saying.

I would call it self centeredness or being uncharitable but that does not cover the implications of the sin which is far graver than that sounds. Everyone is self centered and no one is charitable all the time. If there is a name for a sin that takes that to a whole other level perhaps someone can tell me what it is.

I also read that if this is the priest’s style and it appears that it is to me then to go to another parish. I live in a state with few Catholic churches. It is possible for me to travel to another church however. I just feel strange doing it. Do I need to explain why? The congregations here are small and all the pastors know everyone in them. I almost feel like I’m insulting my pastor and except for this and the fact he won’t make hospital calls, I do like him.

 

[SuscipeMeDomine]

It is possible for me to travel to another church however. I just feel strange doing it. Do I need to explain why?

No.

You show up and you go to confession. You don’t have to explain why you came today rather than another day or why you’re at this parish rather than another one.

Canon law even specifies that you can choose your confessor:

Can. 991 Every member of the Christian faithful is free to confess sins to a legitimately approved confessor of his or her choice, even to one of another rite.

If you find a good confessor, treasure him!