question about religious life...

[Monica4316]

I was reading about St John Vianney and how he counselled some young people to marry, and others to enter religious life… one young lady came to him for advice, she really wanted to be a nun and had a strong attraction to religious life, yet her family wanted her to marry a young man who proposed to her, and she was a big help to the family business… St John Vianney told her she must marry, because this would give peace to her family and she would show her piety to the world. However another young woman, she also wanted to be a nun yet was afraid to leave her mother, who would be very upset… yet St John Vianney told her to enter the convent, and that her mother would get over it eventually. There was also a young man who wanted to be a religious but his father disagreed, but his father changed his mind during the same pilgrimage. St John Vianney could read souls and gave advice based on God’s will, not based on human wisdom…

I’m having a lot of trouble understanding… it seems that a person could have an attraction to the religious life, but that not be God’s will… my situation is similar to the girl in the first story, because sometimes I wonder, if God were to call me to a convent, how my parents would be taken care of when they’re older… it would also make them extremely upset and maybe even do harm, though I believe if it’s God’s will it wouldn’t do harm. Of course, I really don’t want there to be any harm… and I want to do what He wants. But - does all this mean that God’s will for me is definitely the same as that of the young woman in the first story?? I wondered, if I were to ask St John Vianney what to do, what would he tell me? A couple days ago I was very nervous about all this because to say the truth, I have a lot of difficulty with the idea of me having to marry. I really wanted to just belong to Christ. Yet I know I must do His will, I believe we must choose His will over ours even if it costs us everything we wanted, even if it costs us what we wanted to do for Him.

How do you understand those two stories? HOW do we discern what is God’s will? I don’t understand the discernment process… .because it seems someone could have an attraction to the religious life, but it not be God’s will for them. How come when I sometimes pray by the Blessed Sacrament, I want to be a nun again?

HOW do we know? Does anyone have any advice on the discernment process and how to…not go wrong?

 

[puzzleannie]

the good saint gave specific advice to specific persons in specific situations so it would be wrong to take that individual advice and apply it to oneself. See your own spiritual director who knows your own condition, spirituality, life situation and so forth for help in discerning a vocation. Yes attraction to a vocation is one sign you might be called, but not the only sign.

 

[Humility101]

Hello, Monica.

Your concern is understandable. A few months ago, I was in a similar situation. I was practically engaged to be married to a wonderful man. A man who was everything I ever prayed for. During my courtship with him, I realized I had a vocation to the religious life.

One priest I spoke with advised me to not marry and pursue my vocation. Another priest advised me to marry. These are both wonderful priests who I highly respect which made the decision that much more difficult.

All I can say is that the signs that God was providing me with helped clear up any issues I had with my decision. I must admit I did fight my vocation because I had prayed so long to be married to a good Catholic man …over 10 years. I wanted to do my will instead of God’s will. I ended up choosing to do God’s will.

Try to think about what God wants you to do on one hand and what you want to do on the other hand.

Choose what is written on the **God’s will **hand.

I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I thought I would share.

God bless,
~Rae

 

[scoobydoo6v92]

As I said before, If the desire won’t leave you no matter what, and you try to pray it away or will it away and it still haunts you, I think you have your answer. Trust in Christ that he will take care of what needs to be taken care of. Puzzleanne’s advice for a spiritual director whether formal or informal, is spot on find one asap. God Bless Scoob.

 

[Monica4316]

Thank you

I came across this vocation story that I found very inspiring… passionistnuns.org/vocationstories/SrRoseMarie/index.htm

There is one thing that this Sister said that really made me think. She mentioned how while she was discerning but not really responding to God’s call to religious life, she felt unrest in her soul and a heavy conscience… and later she saw that the most perfect response she could make to God’s love was to give herself entirely to Him and give up everything else for Him.

I guess maybe that is how you know… ? If that becomes the only response you COULD make, and you know that if you don’t, you would not be truly responding to God’s love…

I find such a contradiction in myself. I don’t know how this could be solved but I am trying to trust God that He would take care of it. To be honest - I often feel kind of similarly, but at the same time I don’t understand if it means that I have a vocation, because someone could have an attraction to something that is not God’s will, in the end. Also, I can’t figure out a situation that would be a big obstacle for something like this.

Can something be God’s will and yet not happen, because of a situation or the free will of other people? I read about St Gemma and how she was really called to be a nun, and Jesus told her that she should be a nun, but due to some circumstances this was not working out… and then Jesus said that if people would continue to put this obstacle in the way, He would take her home to Himself - which He later did.

I was wondering if anyone who was/is discerning has any thoughts

God bless!

 

[TiggerS]

the good saint gave specific advice to specific persons in specific situations so it would be wrong to take that individual advice and apply it to oneself. See your own spiritual director who knows your own condition, spirituality, life situation and so forth for help in discerning a vocation. Yes attraction to a vocation is one sign you might be called, but not the only sign.

Very good advice.

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

I was reading about St John Vianney and how he counselled some young people to marry, and others to enter religious life… one young lady came to him for advice, she really wanted to be a nun and had a strong attraction to religious life, yet her family wanted her to marry a young man who proposed to her, and she was a big help to the family business… St John Vianney told her she must marry, because this would give peace to her family and she would show her piety to the world. However another young woman, she also wanted to be a nun yet was afraid to leave her mother, who would be very upset… yet St John Vianney told her to enter the convent, and that her mother would get over it eventually. There was also a young man who wanted to be a religious but his father disagreed, but his father changed his mind during the same pilgrimage. St John Vianney could read souls and gave advice based on God’s will, not based on human wisdom…

I’m having a lot of trouble understanding… it seems that a person could have an attraction to the religious life, but that not be God’s will… my situation is similar to the girl in the first story, because sometimes I wonder, if God were to call me to a convent, how my parents would be taken care of when they’re older… it would also make them extremely upset and maybe even do harm, though I believe if it’s God’s will it wouldn’t do harm. Of course, I really don’t want there to be any harm… and I want to do what He wants. But - does all this mean that God’s will for me is definitely the same as that of the young woman in the first story?? I wondered, if I were to ask St John Vianney what to do, what would he tell me? A couple days ago I was very nervous about all this because to say the truth, I have a lot of difficulty with the idea of me having to marry. I really wanted to just belong to Christ. Yet I know I must do His will, I believe we must choose His will over ours even if it costs us everything we wanted, even if it costs us what we wanted to do for Him.

How do you understand those two stories? HOW do we discern what is God’s will? I don’t understand the discernment process… .because it seems someone could have an attraction to the religious life, but it not be God’s will for them. How come when I sometimes pray by the Blessed Sacrament, I want to be a nun again?

HOW do we know? Does anyone have any advice on the discernment process and how to…not go wrong?

The discernment process can be compared to a journey… one starts one step at a time… and there are many ways to find what vocation or calling one has either to the religious life, to married life or to single life.

I usually suggest that you begin by contacting your parish priest or perhaps a religious you know. (or if you are of an age and are attending a university/college there are many times Newman centers that can provide many helps in learning about vocations.

Also there are vocation directors and Spiritual Directors that can help you on your faith journey no matter what route it takes. (Believe me a director will not steer you to religious life if they feel you are called to marriage and vice versa)

Basically what I am trying to say in a convoluted way is to find someone to speak to. Your family concerns are quite valid… and by speaking to someone as you explore what you path you think God is calling you to, you will find that questions are answered and concerns addressed.

For me as a late vocation I had to look at my mothers health and her ability to care for herself in old age. As my vocation journey unfolded in my case it has turned out that my path is to return to the Convent.

Bottom line, pray and find someone to help you in your discernment. They will be able to help you address all your questions and longings and bring things into perspective. You will be surprised how with time and help things can become quite clear for you… the Holy Spirit will not leave you hanging.

                                               Blessings,
                                               Sr Debbie

 

[NewCatholicUK]

Hello, Monica.

Your concern is understandable. A few months ago, I was in a similar situation. I was practically engaged to be married to a wonderful man. A man who was everything I ever prayed for. During my courtship with him, I realized I had a vocation to the religious life.

One priest I spoke with advised me to not marry and pursue my vocation. Another priest advised me to marry. These are both wonderful priests who I highly respect which made the decision that much more difficult.

All I can say is that the signs that God was providing me with helped clear up any issues I had with my decision. I must admit I did fight my vocation because I had prayed so long to be married to a good Catholic man …over 10 years. I wanted to do my will instead of God’s will. I ended up choosing to do God’s will.

Try to think about what God wants you to do on one hand and what you want to do on the other hand.

Choose what is written on the **God’s will **hand.

I don’t know if this is helpful or not, but I thought I would share.

God bless,
~Rae

So two priests gave you two different answers? So really you have to work it out on your own?

I don’t get it… I like my girlfriend and she likes me so stay with her? I’m sure that it’s not a sin to go against God’s will if you don’t know what it is? I mean two priests gave different answers so there’s no 100% method… So crazy…

 

[Monica4316]

Thanks for the replies! I found out yesterday that my family is really expecting me to marry… I’m afriad that it would completely ruin my relationship with them if I don’t marry, based on some things my mom said I almost panicked yesterday. I’m really trying to trust in God and that He would show me what to do, and if I’m supposed to be a nun, that He would change my parents’ hearts, cause I wouldn’t want to do something like this with their refusal and I don’t know if God would want me to. But it seems very unlikely, except for a miracle

 

[Ocarm]

Thanks for the replies! I found out yesterday that my family is really expecting me to marry… I’m afriad that it would completely ruin my relationship with them if I don’t marry,

Monica,

Whilst your feelings are obviously going to be affected by your parent’s responses, it nevertheless has to be said that what they think about your vocation in life ultimately does not matter.

I know that sounds harsh, but it’s true. I realise that going against their wishes could have unpleasant consequences, but if that’s what God calls you to do, it would be the right thing to do.

I don’t mean to oversimplify such a difficult set of circumstances; I have heard some people romanticise adversity in pursuing a vocation as though it’s a wonderful thing to face opposition and fight your way through, but obviously enough, in truth it’s painful and exhausting. Even so, your parents can’t make these kinds of decisions for you.

As you say, you have to pray that they will come to accept your discerned choices, whatever they may be; but living your life by trying to meet other people’s expectations cannot bring you peace of mind, At some point you have to do what you think is right, in accordance with God’s will. And of course that’s often hard to figure out. But giving over the precious gift of your free will to your family just isn’t right, in my humble opinion.

Prayers and best wishes to you in your discernment.

 

[Humility101]

So two priests gave you two different answers? So really you have to work it out on your own?

I don’t get it… I like my girlfriend and she likes me so stay with her? I’m sure that it’s not a sin to go against God’s will if you don’t know what it is? I mean two priests gave different answers so there’s no 100% method… So crazy…

It must seem crazy to some. But I am open to whatever crazy thing God has planned for me. We have free will and we must make a choice. In the bible, Abraham had to make a choice if he was going to listen to God and sacrifice his only son. He listened to God.

God speaks to all of us. We know when we are making the right choice or not… alot of times we try to rationalize what choice is right for our own benefit. I have prayed a lot and gone to Adoration and Mass alot asking God to show me His will in my life.

He let me know that I made the right choice. It might not be a sin to go against God’s will if you do not understand exactly what that is, but if you know in your heart what His will is for you, you have the choice. I don’t think it is a sin if I chose the other direction, but it would take one off the path He has for planned for the soul.

This is only my feeling on the subject. Just to help explain where I’m at. If this were a year ago, I would have picked my boyfriend easily, but I am in a better place now spiritually to make the right decision for my soul.

God bless,
~Rae

 

[NewCatholicUK]

Thanks for the replies! I found out yesterday that my family is really expecting me to marry… I’m afriad that it would completely ruin my relationship with them if I don’t marry, based on some things my mom said I almost panicked yesterday. I’m really trying to trust in God and that He would show me what to do, and if I’m supposed to be a nun, that He would change my parents’ hearts, cause I wouldn’t want to do something like this with their refusal and I don’t know if God would want me to. But it seems very unlikely, except for a miracle

Hi Monica!

I’m a reborn-Catholic and, after 22 months of learning, the way I look at the world and making decisions is to do what God wants me to do BECAUSE not everyone is going to Heaven so you shouldn’t be bothered about what those around you want you to do or what they do themselves. You can apply this to your vocation! In life you have to do what God wants you to do and that shouldn’t be affected by other people who also have a chance of going to Hell Maybe that way of thinking will help you? I have been distressed while I’ve been trying to figure life out but the main thing that gets me to focus is knowing that people are going to Hell so I have to focus and not be one of those people - just like you have to focus to pass exams! I know that going to Heaven is not just about ‘‘getting the grades’’ but you get my drift! HAHA!

God bless!

Dylan

 

[NewCatholicUK]

I have also done some other thinking and I basically see life as doing something that not anyone can do I mean we can all have sex, do what we want to do, give in to social pressures (including relatives), stress and not be able to think, eat and go to the toilet, BUT I see ‘‘getting into’’ heaven as only for those of us who can focus on God and what He wants in this mad world! To be able to find God and to focus on what He wants us to do is not done without any effort or pain… So maybe you want to think about that while you think about vocations

Since coming back to the church I have learned to focus and do something special for God and it is not easy! We need the will and the focus! So crazy… FOCUS! Prayer and tai chi! HEHE!

 

[Poor_Clare_tobe]

Thanks for the replies! I found out yesterday that my family is really expecting me to marry… I’m afriad that it would completely ruin my relationship with them if I don’t marry, based on some things my mom said I almost panicked yesterday. I’m really trying to trust in God and that He would show me what to do, and if I’m supposed to be a nun, that He would change my parents’ hearts, cause I wouldn’t want to do something like this with their refusal and I don’t know if God would want me to. But it seems very unlikely, except for a miracle

Monica,

I would encourage you to continue to seek and discern what you believe to be Gods will in your life. I am not sure your age??? However you might consider talking to your parish priest or a sister or a vocation director or spiritual director? Or if you are of university age there may be a catholic club on campus???  And of course pray, pray pray] Either way just speaking to a trusted adviser can help you to clarify what you believe to be  your life's journey. It can be tough to feel like ones going against your parents needs but bottom line you need to discern for yourself what God is calling you to. (Hence an adviser is invaluable) It may be that you are called to religious life or it may be that you will find yourself called to marriage just take it a bit a time... usually God gives you some peace or little signposts so to speak to let you know you are on the right track.

Blessings and Peace… Sr Debbie O.S.C.

 

[Father_La_Fleur]

Hello,

What you are going through is very painful, yet inevitable, as your are obliged to make a choice. You cannot serve two Masters, you can not please God and your parents, unless your parents seek to accept God’s will for you as well. The advice given is true. With or without your parents, you must choose what you are convinced is God’s will for you. That is a first step in discernment, as I consider what I feel called to, what fears and desires are stirred up and why? If you feel attracted yet fear what your parents will do, then ask, what would I do, if my parents blessed, accepted, approved and understood what I really feel? If you think your parents would cheer for you, then, you would go ahead and pursue your religious vocations, no?

If they always overshadow your thoughts, then, you are trying to discern on your own, in fear, anxiety, trying to please everyone. This indicates where the pressure is coming from,what the obstacle is to considering giving yourself freely with a heart all for Jesus.

I suggest you find a Priest who will listen to you, understand you and counsel you, knowing the emotional pressure you are under. You can not see anything or anyone clearly in a storm. Remember Jesus asking Peter to walk on water…as soon as he concentrated on the wind, the rain, the swelling waves, he began to sink. When you go to the Priest it is the same as crying out: Save me Lord! as in prayer and meditation as well. Until you have openly, with courage, told your parents, you are seriously considering Religious Life, not only Marriage, you will always have a very clouded judgement and only see white ligthning before your eyes, as does a child when they are terrified. I suggest you tell them openly and let yourself breathe.

You must give yourself a chance to discern in the best, necessary atmosphere of love and trust. You will remain confused until then. If you love your parents and the Lord, you will tell the truth and it will set you free. No garantee that they will agree or like what they hear, but, if they really really love you, they will want you to be happy and not impose their will on you, or manipulate you by exploiting your feelings of guilt, anger, fear and desire to please them. Sometimes, a young woman feels forced to be a Religious, or a young man to become a Priest to please parents too. You can expect them to grieve at the thought, have a tantrum, express disbelief, denial, bargain with you, persuade, dissuade, the whole gamet of feelings, but, in the end, they want you to be happy and to do God’s will for you, not their will for you.

It is a loss for a parent, a great sacrifice, which is why it is such a great honor. Only God would ask such a thing from a parent, or from you. If you got married, you would have to leave them all the same, yet, you would be more available, and of course, provide grandchildren and care in their goldener years. If you are Jesus’ Bride, it is different, but He is a perfect Divine Spouse. Either way, you will leave them, to please God, not them. You must love God more than them, and they must love God, more than you. Both your parents and you, must choose, and you can not serve two Masters, God and yourselves.

A good Priest is hard to find, but the Lord provides. If I were near, I would see you tomorrow, but the Lord will guide you. St. Francis will help you on his Feast day tomorrow. St. Therese, the Little Flower too who said: I know the Lord’s Will because He comes in a Spirit bursting with love and confidence, I have never loved the Lord or done anything for Him, simply out of fear or in a spirit of oppression. I pray for you.

Fr. Dominic

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

So two priests gave you two different answers? So really you have to work it out on your own?

I don’t get it… I like my girlfriend and she likes me so stay with her? I’m sure that it’s not a sin to go against God’s will if you don’t know what it is? I mean two priests gave different answers so there’s no 100% method… So crazy…

No, you need to get a spiritual director, a formal one, when discerning a calling to religious life or the priesthood.

You also do not shop around for answers. When your spiritual director gives you advice you follow it or you leave them and get a new spiritual director.

You do not have two spiritual directors at the same time.

You have one and do as they direct.

You also do not use anonymous internet forums for this sort of direction.

 

[TiggerS]

No, you need to get a spiritual director, a formal one, when discerning a calling to religious life or the priesthood.

You also do not shop around for answers. When your spiritual director gives you advice you follow it or you leave them and get a new spiritual director.

You do not have two spiritual directors at the same time.

You have one and do as they direct.

You also do not use anonymous internet forums for this sort of direction.

…

 

[Father_La_Fleur]

Thank you Brother David,

For your concise, truthful answer. We need to hear more often from Religious and Priests the truth about Spiritual Direction and Obedience, Humility and Fidelity, discerning God’s Will in Spirit and in Truth. I wanted to comment on that comment but you beat me to it, youpee and alleluia!

Sister Helena on another thread also speaks wonderfully about Desire and Reality. Way to go, Sister! What she says is confirmed by St. Paul who says that science without humility puffs us up. We know so much we think that knowledge entitles us to obey only what suits our understanding. Our ego ajusts God’s Will like a movie disclaimer that says-this motion picture has been adapted to fit this screen(to fit your brain, your field of spiritual vision, your standards, your sensibilities, your personal tastes). God has already done that in His Incarnation, His Teaching and His revealed truths. We adapt it even more to our liking. We miss the Big Picture.

We may go through a discernment process before choosing a Spiritual Director, hence, consulting, speaking and getting to know different Priests, but we must choose one at a time, lest we shop for answers. We do this for physicians, trainers, coaches, teachers, schools and the like, but we cop out so easily or take the easy way out when it comes to discerning God’s Will. We seem to be so prudent and conscienscious with our health, leisure, pleasure and other personal interests…Yet, when it comes to religion and morality, we do not usually exert the same effort and find quite easily, personal justification, reasons or outright excuses to pursue God’s Will no further. God’s Will, the most important mystery to discover, or die trying.

We are sacramental consumers who are so used to picking and choosing what pleases us, we go on a fishing expedition for the most lax Priest who will give us the alibi, the loophole or the exemption from obeying commandements as we ought, the exception from Church Teaching or any requirements as we know them, the excuse we are looking for to justify being irresponsible.

This is inherent in human nature but terribly exploited in our consumer culture of pleasure and death-God must die in me so I can live and have my fun, instead of the reverse and discovering true joy and freedom. Pope Benedict speaks eloquently about this false sense of freedom, of truth and of love without responsability, the dictatorship of moral relativism. These trends find their ways into our confessionals tragically…Hence, the Priests’ advice becomes a product like any other, a spiritual product we leave on the shelf if we do not buy it with our trust.

We discern before we marry, yet,if we are serious, we consider courting, one person at a time, first, if we are honest,… to use another analogy…It is difficult to choose a possible future spouse, it is also a challenge to find a good Spiritual Director. If you feel a calling to the Priesthood or Religious Life, a SD is a must.

Discern we must, our soul depends on it, discern which Priest to trust, but to use varying opinions as an excuse to not seek any further would be as insane as never purchasing any basic necessities or using any kind of commodity or social service, because each one says: Come and buy here! Sign up here! Come here! We are the best! One stop shopping! for all your needs! The Saints suffered much as they passed from one SDirector to another sometimes, yet, they persevered until the end for the sake of God’s Good Pleasure, which was their only treasure and their Eternal Joy.

Fr. Dominic

 

[Monica4316]

Monica,

I would encourage you to continue to seek and discern what you believe to be Gods will in your life. I am not sure your age??? However you might consider talking to your parish priest or a sister or a vocation director or spiritual director? Or if you are of university age there may be a catholic club on campus???  And of course pray, pray pray] Either way just speaking to a trusted adviser can help you to clarify what you believe to be  your life's journey. It can be tough to feel like ones going against your parents needs but bottom line you need to discern for yourself what God is calling you to. (Hence an adviser is invaluable) It may be that you are called to religious life or it may be that you will find yourself called to marriage just take it a bit a time... usually God gives you some peace or little signposts so to speak to let you know you are on the right track.

Blessings and Peace… Sr Debbie O.S.C.

Thank you for the reply Sr Debbie! I am in my 20s. I have spoken to two priests about vocations… one is the vocations director in the diocese, but this was a while ago and my situation changed a little since then… last spring I spoke to a priest who was spiritually directing me, and he was very helpful too but I could only speak to him about this for a little bit because I had to move to another city… one of the things he advised me to do is visit some orders because it’s difficult to discern without visiting. I dont really have the means to do so now, and I am continuing to pray until I’m able to maybe go on a retreat. I dont really know now what God would want me to do.

 

[Monica4316]

Hello,

What you are going through is very painful, yet inevitable, as your are obliged to make a choice. You cannot serve two Masters, you can not please God and your parents, unless your parents seek to accept God’s will for you as well. The advice given is true. With or without your parents, you must choose what you are convinced is God’s will for you. That is a first step in discernment, as I consider what I feel called to, what fears and desires are stirred up and why? If you feel attracted yet fear what your parents will do, then ask, what would I do, if my parents blessed, accepted, approved and understood what I really feel? If you think your parents would cheer for you, then, you would go ahead and pursue your religious vocations, no?

If they always overshadow your thoughts, then, you are trying to discern on your own, in fear, anxiety, trying to please everyone. This indicates where the pressure is coming from,what the obstacle is to considering giving yourself freely with a heart all for Jesus.

I suggest you find a Priest who will listen to you, understand you and counsel you, knowing the emotional pressure you are under. You can not see anything or anyone clearly in a storm. Remember Jesus asking Peter to walk on water…as soon as he concentrated on the wind, the rain, the swelling waves, he began to sink. When you go to the Priest it is the same as crying out: Save me Lord! as in prayer and meditation as well. Until you have openly, with courage, told your parents, you are seriously considering Religious Life, not only Marriage, you will always have a very clouded judgement and only see white ligthning before your eyes, as does a child when they are terrified. I suggest you tell them openly and let yourself breathe.

You must give yourself a chance to discern in the best, necessary atmosphere of love and trust. You will remain confused until then. If you love your parents and the Lord, you will tell the truth and it will set you free. No garantee that they will agree or like what they hear, but, if they really really love you, they will want you to be happy and not impose their will on you, or manipulate you by exploiting your feelings of guilt, anger, fear and desire to please them. Sometimes, a young woman feels forced to be a Religious, or a young man to become a Priest to please parents too. You can expect them to grieve at the thought, have a tantrum, express disbelief, denial, bargain with you, persuade, dissuade, the whole gamet of feelings, but, in the end, they want you to be happy and to do God’s will for you, not their will for you.

It is a loss for a parent, a great sacrifice, which is why it is such a great honor. Only God would ask such a thing from a parent, or from you. If you got married, you would have to leave them all the same, yet, you would be more available, and of course, provide grandchildren and care in their goldener years. If you are Jesus’ Bride, it is different, but He is a perfect Divine Spouse. Either way, you will leave them, to please God, not them. You must love God more than them, and they must love God, more than you. Both your parents and you, must choose, and you can not serve two Masters, God and yourselves.

A good Priest is hard to find, but the Lord provides. If I were near, I would see you tomorrow, but the Lord will guide you. St. Francis will help you on his Feast day tomorrow. St. Therese, the Little Flower too who said: I know the Lord’s Will because He comes in a Spirit bursting with love and confidence, I have never loved the Lord or done anything for Him, simply out of fear or in a spirit of oppression. I pray for you.

Fr. Dominic

Fr Dominic, thank you so much for your post and prayers The story about St Peter walking on water seems to relate so well. When I ‘look away’ from Jesus and remember all my obstacles, as well as the confusion about vocations, I become afraid and worry about the future of my family. I begin to worry not only about their reaction, but also what would happen to my parents when they are older, and what helps is trusting that if God calls me to religious life He would also take care of my family. I also worry that all my thoughts about religious life come from my pride. Although I haven’t yet told my family that I am discerning, the topic came up a few times because I mentioned some friends who joined religious orders. Based on these discussions I think my parents want me to marry because they believe this would make me happy, and they want the best for me, and I’m grateful for this. However I know it is mostly important to follow God’s will and the purpose He created me for. I wish I loved Him more so that I would no longer care for anything but His will… I have too many attachments. There is also a concern for my family’s well-being but I was told that God loves my family more than I do!

I had the chance to speak to a priest about vocations, he was spiritually directing me last spring. However, I only spoke to him about this once because I had to move to another city soon after. There was no chance to really talk in depth on the topic because other topics needed to be discussed. I also spoke to the vocations director of the diocese but this was a couple years ago and my thoughts on vocations and my situation changed slightly since then. My spiritual director from the other city suggested that I find a priest where I live now so that I could continue this discernment in more detail. I am now praying for this. However, I never really had the chance to ask the particular question in my OP… I only asked, if I am under a delusion. I probably worry too much to the point where I block myself from what God is trying to show me. I will try to trust more

thank you again!