question about religious life...

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Yes,

God does love you and your family more than you can ever imagine…He is very well aware of what sacrifice He is asking of you and of them. He knows what is best for you and for them, not you, nor your parents. All this shows your attachments and how much you love all those entrusted to your care, and how much those to whom you have been entrusted, love you.

I had a painful decision to make when I entered the Seminary, and, even before, when I left home to study and to work. I am the youngest of nine in my family and felt expected to stay and take care of my Mother. My Mother passed away last May 20,2011, God bless the Mother of a Priest. She had Dementia but knew who I was. As a Priest, I found time to be with her. As a Religious, it is different, but, God know this, He knows what is most favorable to your Vocation and to your parents’ well-being and salvation. My Mother was grateful I left her for God because she did not want to feel responsible for retarding a Vocation, or being an obstacle, or adversary or a rival to God’s Will. A true Mother and Father will teach you to love God more than them, and to leave them for God when the time comes.

I will pray for the occasion for you to speak about what the passion and the first love, Jesus has put into your heart, namely, His very Self. Many Catholic parents say: We need more local Vocations to the Priesthood! and We need some young Nuns to help rebuild our families! and so on, but, on condition that You don’t take my child!!! Take someone else’s pride and joy!

A Mother asked me to dissuade a young man from becoming a Priest, to even seriously consider it because he was all she had…I answered that I can only pray that God’s Will be done and that I’m sure the Lord does not want her to be abandoned any more than He wanted Mary to be abandoned by Jesus-He was all She had. Besides, where would I be today, if a Priest had told me not to become a Priest? I could not be here listening to you!

Fr. Dominic
 
Thank you Fr Dominic 🙂

I am not certain how I can decrease my attachments… are there any steps that a person could take?

If God would call me to religious life I would try to explain this to my family. They are not Catholic, but I know God can change people’s hearts, - and if they would still disagree then, than I guess it would be a sacrifice.

I was reading in a book “Way of Divine Love” by Sr Josefa Menendez, how she was afraid of leaving her mother also. She did eventually say ‘yes’ to God in everything though. Her journey was very difficult I’m sure, much harder than mine. Her willingness to always serve God is very inspiring.
 
At first,

My family was scandalized and felt betrayed by my revealing my heart’s desire to become a Priest…now, they are proud, though they don’t admit it very often, and, what’s more, they expect me to be a living Saint and Spiritual Daddy for them, especially those who say they are atheist! As always, I ask atheists to pray for my conversion.

I think, your parents secretly will be proud and happy to know the truth. What hurts the most is to not feel that you trusted them enough to tell them the truth.

Fr. Dominic
 
At first,

My family was scandalized and felt betrayed by my revealing my heart’s desire to become a Priest(except for my Mother)…now, they are proud, though they don’t admit it very often, and, what’s more, they expect me to be a living Saint and Spiritual Daddy for them, especially those who say they are atheist! As always, I ask atheists to pray for my conversion.

I think, your parents secretly will be proud and happy to know the truth. What hurts the most is to not feel that you trusted them enough to tell them the truth.

Fr. Dominic
 
Father, thank you for the reply. I hope so. Maybe my family’s view of religious life would change. I hope I could be a good example of a Catholic to them. 🙂
 
Monica,

You asked about how to overcome attachments…I hesitate to give a magical formula that would be like a presciption to ease the pain or to make saying the truth, risk-free.

Doing your duty more and more to please God and not yourself is how. You want to please your parents, like I, my superiors, too, but there is a desire to please self in this-I would not look to please others unless it first pleased me to do so, or made me feel good about myself, confirmed what I like to think of myself. Honor your parents says the Commandment, but we always strive to love God for God until our last breath where we accept to die for God.

We must do what is best for others even if it displeases them, as parents do for children, and sometimes, in your case, a child must do for parents. You must tell them the truth about what you feel, it is for their spiritual good and part of bearing witness to Jesus. If we blush before men because of His Name…remember what He says in the Gospel. If they hear it from someone else, it will hurt so much more.

To answer your question, my friend, I suggest practicing doing little acts of kindness, with disinterested, unconditional love, towards others. Be like a Cupid of Mary who goes about shooting for the heart with little random gestures of love, a kind word, a smile someone needs, a compliment or a thank you to turn a frown upside down. Then, go a step further and risk a little more so that your love costs you more self-more, and systematically empties you of self as a daily virtue. It is like doling out food or drink to starving people every day, like handing out money to the poor; at first, we are stingy and calculating, later, we pour ourselves out and keep filling ourselves up. Again, it is like going out into the battlefield more and more to treat the more seriously wounded, until you risk your life to save another. You will notice how much fear, grudges, self-preservation and haughtiness hold you back and make you feel ripped-off for the love you invested.

Naturally and supernaturally, with time, when the time is ripe, you will be more able to overcome your fears of letting the truth set you and, your parents, free. There will never be a perfect time where they will accept all you say or see things your way. You will be surprised at how they will follow your lead, your attitude more than you think. They will see that you are sincere and serious and take you at your word. They may feel a storm swell within them but they will see that you are speaking to them out of love, and, like the voice of Christ, your love and His grace will say: Be still!

It will come out from your heart and from the Heart of God at the appointed time. It worked for me. No matter what their reaction would be, I had decided, I will say this and unexpectedly, the subject was brought up…and I just said it like it is. For other members of the family, I brought it up myself, but I was ready and prepared more than I thought. God knew. The first time is the hardest. For those who love, there is no pain, only the pain of not loving enough. I thank Providence for this.

Fr. Dominic
 
Fr Dominic, thank you, that helps a lot 🙂 I think I have failed much in this because I have not been the best example of a Catholic at home especially early in my conversion. However now I am trying to and I hope God would use the efforts, and make them fruitful. I would really need His grace 🙂 I think that’s a great idea to do little acts of kindness. Thanks again!
 
Monica4316 said:
I was reading about St John Vianney and how he counselled some young people to marry, and others to enter religious life… one young lady came to him for advice, she really wanted to be a nun and had a strong attraction to religious life, yet her family wanted her to marry a young man who proposed to her, and she was a big help to the family business… St John Vianney told her she must marry, because this would give peace to her family and she would show her piety to the world. However another young woman, she also wanted to be a nun yet was afraid to leave her mother, who would be very upset… yet St John Vianney told her to enter the convent, and that her mother would get over it eventually. There was also a young man who wanted to be a religious but his father disagreed, but his father changed his mind during the same pilgrimage. St John Vianney could read souls and gave advice based on God’s will, not based on human wisdom…

I’m having a lot of trouble understanding… it seems that a person could have an attraction to the religious life, but that not be God’s will… my situation is similar to the girl in the first story, because sometimes I wonder, if God were to call me to a convent, how my parents would be taken care of when they’re older… it would also make them extremely upset and maybe even do harm, though I believe if it’s God’s will it wouldn’t do harm. Of course, I really don’t want there to be any harm… and I want to do what He wants. But - does all this mean that God’s will for me is definitely the same as that of the young woman in the first story?? I wondered, if I were to ask St John Vianney what to do, what would he tell me? A couple days ago I was very nervous about all this because to say the truth, I have a lot of difficulty with the idea of me having to marry. I really wanted to just belong to Christ. Yet I know I must do His will, I believe we must choose His will over ours even if it costs us everything we wanted, even if it costs us what we wanted to do for Him.

How do you understand those two stories? HOW do we discern what is God’s will? I don’t understand the discernment process… .because it seems someone could have an attraction to the religious life, but it not be God’s will for them. How come when I sometimes pray by the Blessed Sacrament, I want to be a nun again?

HOW do we know? :confused: Does anyone have any advice on the discernment process and how to…not go wrong? 😦
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Monica,

Discernment is a long process and often God’s will is not revealed to us at once. Attraction to religious life can be a sign of a vocation, but not always a sure sign of it. Following God’s will always demands taking risks. It is part of surrender, a leap of faith. There are no guarantees. But God does not deceive. As Romans 8:28 says: All things work for the good of those who love God.

Religious calling is mysterious. Remember the young man who wanted to follow Jesus in the Gospel story, and Jesus refused him and told him to go back to his family and tell them of what God has done for him? And what about the young man who out of the blue was caught by surprise when Jesus said “Follow me!” He came up with all sorts of excuse, “let me say goodbye to my parents” or “let me bury the dead” and other more excuses. It is a mystery why some are called who don’t want it, and some are not who desperately want it! A vocation is definitely a gift and God does the calling, not considering the worthiness of the person, but for His own purposes. All we can do is to respond.

My advice is to keep yourself open to the attraction, water it with prayers and contact with those who are living the religious life. A spiritual director can be of great help but it is hard to find one these days, I know. Ask God to increase your faith so that you will understand what God wants from you. Most all be at peace and do not allow the devil to agitate you. Be patient with yourself. Do not be afraid to follow what the Spirit prompts you to do and be open to take risks for the love of God.
 
Sister_Helena said:
Monica,

Discernment is a long process and often God’s will is not revealed to us at once. Attraction to religious life can be a sign of a vocation, but not always a sure sign of it. Following God’s will always demands taking risks. It is part of surrender, a leap of faith. There are no guarantees. But God does not deceive. As Romans 8:28 says: All things work for the good of those who love God.

Religious calling is mysterious. Remember the young man who wanted to follow Jesus in the Gospel story, and Jesus refused him and told him to go back to his family and tell them of what God has done for him? And what about the young man who out of the blue was caught by surprise when Jesus said “Follow me!” He came up with all sorts of excuse, “let me say goodbye to my parents” or “let me bury the dead” and other more excuses. It is a mystery why some are called who don’t want it, and some are not who desperately want it! A vocation is definitely a gift and God does the calling, not considering the worthiness of the person, but for His own purposes. All we can do is to respond.

My advice is to keep yourself open to the attraction, water it with prayers and contact with those who are living the religious life. A spiritual director can be of great help but it is hard to find one these days, I know. Ask God to increase your faith so that you will understand what God wants from you. Most all be at peace and do not allow the devil to agitate you. Be patient with yourself. Do not be afraid to follow what the Spirit prompts you to do and be open to take risks for the love of God.
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Thank you Sister Helena! 🙂 I think one of my biggest problems is worrying too much. I’ll try to be open to God and ask Him for faith. 🙂
 
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