Question about sin...

[dfp42]

I have a few questions about sin. I realize we are all sinners but wanted to know if anyone of these reasons could perhaps be justified against. Not that I am personally blaming anyone, but I tend to see a drift towards people having valid excuses. In the end God can and does forgive all sins of those who seek it.

If your parents tells you that the main reason(s) they didn’t go to mass and take you on Sundays and Holy Days of obligations when you were a kid was because they were too busy working making money trying to take care of you.

If your dad tells you he had a vasectomy because he didn’t want to have anymore kids and didn’t have the money.

Also, is it ever charity to say you’ve always been a great person and that you always do kind things out of your heart, but then complain about not being appreciated in the end?
Does anyone ever have a right to complain if they are doing charity from the heart? Even if it’s clearly seen that they got used or ripped off? Ie. If I give money to a homeless person out of my heart then find out that he’s a panhandler, do I have a right to complain about him and tell everyone I got used and I’m not appreciated because I give and don’t get what I wanted in return, praise for my good deeds?
I understand we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. I just find that some of these things seem like an excuse when they might not be.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

I have a few questions about sin. I realize we are all sinners but wanted to know if anyone of these reasons could perhaps be justified against. Not that I am personally blaming anyone, but I tend to see a drift towards people having valid excuses. In the end God can and does forgive all sins of those who seek it.

Sin is never acceptable, though being under serious pressure can reduce the guilt of sinning. Real ignorance of the Church’s teachings can also reduce or in some cases even eliminate guilt, because in these cases, the sinners are not willfully defying God. However, being ignorant is not a good state to be in, for if one doesn’t know what’s true, one can more easily fall into evil, including evil that through natural law one does know to be wrong.

If your parents tells you that the main reason(s) they didn’t go to mass and take you on Sundays and Holy Days of obligations when you were a kid was because they were too busy working making money trying to take care of you.

No sin is ever acceptable, but the Church does make allowances for people in very difficult circumstances not making it to Mass every Sunday, and does not teach that these people sin when they miss it. There are conditions in which the Church says missing Mass on Sunday is not a sin, such as the presence of a serious illness in the family. I’m not sure what the rules are concerning people under substantial financial pressure. Someone else here can undoubtedly tell you.

If your dad tells you he had a vasectomy because he didn’t want to have anymore kids and didn’t have the money.

The Church teaches that people in these circumstances can apply natural family planning, which involves abstaining from sexual relations during the weeks that the wife is fertile. Perhaps your father didn’t know that this is the avenue the Church offers for dealing with this situation. I am pretty sure that having a vasectomy for this reason would be considered a serious sin, like contraception. Though your father wouldn’t be fully culpable if he was ignorant of the Church’s teaching on the matter.

I understand we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. I just find that some of these things seem like an excuse when they might not be.

People can be more or less culpable for their faults depending on how much pressure they are under or how much knowledge they have of the Lord’s will. But no one ever has license to sin, and sin is always wrong, even when committed unknowingly.

 

[Lief_Erikson]

Also, is it ever charity to say you’ve always been a great person and that you always do kind things out of your heart, but then complain about not being appreciated in the end?

No, this is not acceptable for more than one reason. Firstly, desiring praise for our good deeds is prideful. We all have that tendency, but it is something to be fought, a battle that can take years, decades, or our whole lives. Over time as we fight it, Christ gives us grace and victories are won in this battle, and we become more humble. The canonized saints often had so complete a victory over pride that they never felt its inclinations anymore for years even during their lives on Earth.

Desiring praise is about glorifying ourselves rather than glorifying God. Genuinely glorifying God, on the other hand, is what produces in us humility, real love, and all the good that makes us happiest and most blessed. Glorifying God is good for us; glorifying ourselves is bad for us. Becoming completely self-abandoned is becoming completely joyful, for then nothing negative spoken or done against us can make the least difference to us because we do not care about ourselves but only about God. At the same time, God floods a self-abandoned soul with His love and produces in it virtues that create joy. If a self-abandoned soul experiences torments in the flesh or spiritual dryness, it accepts all of this without regret but with joy, because all it desires is that the will of God be done, and the will of God is permitting or causing these afflictions. Thus the self-abandoned soul lives in joy and total peace, in perfect relationship and union with God, and God creates in it every good virtue and blessing.

We all should aim for self-abandonment. Jesus said in Matthew 6:1-3, “Be careful not to do your ‘acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”

The rewards the Father gives are eternal, gifts of love, joy, peace, and union with Himself that does not fade but is a seed of what we will have completely in Heaven. We have to abandon ourselves so that Christ can have ourselves. We abandon ourselves to Christ, for Christ, in Christ. When we abandon ourselves in this way for Him, He receives us, and then we are His, and our life becomes His Life, a joyful and fulfilled life.

A second reason why it would be wrong to complain even in a situation such as the one you laid out is that complaining about unfair things we get in life is complaining about what God permits to happen to us for our own good. God allows all kinds of bad things to happen to us, and sometimes even causes bad things to happen to us, because when we don’t get our way or we are hurt, we have the opportunity more than ever to grow in His Life. For instance, how can we learn to show mercy if someone has not wronged us? How can we learn to live in faith in God if everything is always going well for us and we never have to trust anyone beyond ourselves and our own abilities? How can we learn to grow in wisdom if we always know all that we need to know? How can we learn to grow in love if we never are in a situation where it is difficult to love? And so on . . . Growth in God’s eternal virtues, which bring true happiness to the soul, comes through suffering. What we are called to do in Scripture is “give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thess. 5:18). Jesus knows what is best for us.

If we thank God even when we don’t like what He has given us, this is virtue. It is self-abandonment, humility before His superior wisdom, and it is faith. This attitude leads to joy. I always feel much better when I thank God for the bad things that come my way than I do when I complain about them.

The journey into self-abandonment is lifelong. We start with baby steps and sometimes souls get far enough in this life that they can take great leaps like the apostles who worked for the benefit of souls, were flogged for it, and rejoiced in their suffering. The apostles are the end of the road. Saying, “Thank-you, God,” (non-sarcastically ) when one ends up late for work and gets criticized by one’s manager, or when one is late getting home from work because of traffic, or when one’s beloved television show is canceled, is self-abandonment to God’s will in the smaller, more day to day things, and this is something difficult that we work our way into embracing completely. It’s part of St. Therese of Lisieux’s “Little Way” to perfection, embracing the small set-backs and being faithful in ordinary responsibilities and in the small things of life. If we become self-abandoned in the small things, we learn to become self-abandoned in the big things in life too. Then when a loved one dies or a paralyzing disease strikes someone in the family, we don’t become furious at God or lose our faith. We have become self-abandoned, so in these situations too, we have enough spiritual power to thank God through our tears and anguish of heart, and do whatever we can for the affected loved one or the sufferer’s family members. Then especially in these trials, one’s union with God grows. Then the soul becomes a deep vessel of God’s love for everyone afflicted by the tragedy, and becomes God’s living foundation for struggling souls all around it.

Anyway, I’ve talked too long on this subject now.

 

[Sue_Reedy]

Leif has put everything really beautifully, it’s hard to add anything but a thought did occur to me about the homeless person situation. I don’t think it could ever be a loving thing to do, complaining about being ripped off. The point of charity is not how much is given and where it is spent but the love that goes into it, and if someone has given in love then that in essence is all that matters. Having said that, it would perhaps be wiser to give food or some other kind of help rather than money (excuse my ignorance but what exactly is a panhandler? Presumably someone who uses money for less than legal purposes?).

I have a sponsored child, but before I sponsored her I tried to make sure that there was transparency in the sponsoring organisation, that there was no likelyhood of local corruption in the programme etc. Hopefully this was not an unloving thing to do, but simply a wise one as it was important to me that the money did go where it was intended.

 

[djeter]

Before he became embroiled in a dispute a few weeks back, Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa was better known as the Homilist to the Vatican Household and a popularizer (if that’s the right word) of the gospel, a prolific author of a number of texts.

I’ve excerpted one from his book *Life In Christ *which is about the spiritual messages contained in Paul’s letter to the Romans. He explores the main themes of St. Paul’s famous epistle in a manner that draws us closer to a more mature relationship with Jesus Christ. The rest of it is here.

The Existential Consequences Of Sin
But let us take a closer look at the existential consequences of sin. St. Paul affirms that “the wages of sin is death” (Romans 6:23). Sin leads to death; not so much to the “act” of dying – which lasts only a moment — as to the “state” of death, that is precisely to what has been called “mortal illness,” a state of chronic death. In this state the creature desperately tends to return to being nothing but without succeeding and lives therefore as if in an eternal agony. From this state comes damnation and the pains of hell; the creature is obliged by One stronger than himself to be what he does not consent to be, that is dependent on God, and his eternal torment is that he cannot get rid of either God or of himself. Kierkegaard rightly said that “the formula for all desperation is to desperately refuse to be what one is.” (S. Kierkegaard, The Sickness Unto Death I, A)

Satan embodies this state. In him sin has run its entire course and is shown in its extreme consequences. He is the prototype of those “who do know God (and how he knew him!) but do not give him the glory and thanks that belong to God.” It is not necessary to fall back on the imagination or on theological speculation to learn Satan’s feelings on this point because he himself shouts them into the hearts of those whom God still allows him to tempt today, as Jesus was tempted in the wilderness: “We are not free”, he shouts, “we are not free! Even if you kill yourself, your soul lives on, you cannot kill it, we cannot say no. We are obliged to exist forever. It’s all deceit! It’s not true that God created us free!”

Such thoughts make us shudder as it would seem that we are directly listening to the eternal argument between Satan and God. He, in fact, would wish to be left free to return to nothingness. Not because he doesn’t want to exist or to be God’s antagonist, but because he does not want to be what he is, dependent on God. He wants to exist, but not “through the grace of another.” As the Power above him is stronger than he is and obliges him to exist, this is the way to pure desperation

In choosing absolute autonomy from God, the creature is aware of the unhappiness and darkness involved but he is willing to pay this price. As St. Bernard said, “he prefers to he unhappy in his own sovereignty rather than be happy in submission.” The much talked about eternity of hell does not depend on God, who is always ready to forgive, but on the person who refuses to be forgiven and would accuse God of lacking respect for his freedom if God were to do so.

We have, today, the chance to actually verify through our own experience the results of sin by observing what is happening in our present society after the extreme consequences the refusal of God has led to in certain places. Nietzsche, for whom sin was nothing other than an ignoble “Jewish invention” and good and evil just simple “prejudices of God” (once again we are judging words and not intentions) said: “We have killed him; we are God’s assassins!”

But then, having perceived or personally experienced the evil results of this, the philosopher added: “What have we done by unlinking this earth of ours from the chain that links it to its sun? Where is it going now? Where are we going? Isn’t ours an eternal descent? Backwards, sideways, forward, from all sides? Aren’t we perhaps wandering as if through an infinite nothingness?” (F. Nietzsche, The Gay Science, nr. 125)To kill God is really the most horrific suicide. Death is really the wages of sin and the proof lies in present-day nihilism.

dj

 

[puzzleannie]

the questions about sin that I can answer are of two types, one, my personal sin, since I take my obligation seriously to educate myself in the faith, and to ask guidance of the priest in confession when necessary, I know when I am sinning and need continuing conversion and confession. The second is objective questions about whether a specific act or omission is immoral, if it is a mortal or venial sin, for that I refer to Church teaching and unbroken tradition and scripture. The question nobody can answer is about someone else’s personal sin. That includes most especially our own parents, family and friends. There is no way I am competent to conclude this or that person is subjectively guilty of sin, and to form a habit of making such judgments is a danger to my own spiritual health.

 

[JRKH]

I have a few questions about sin. I realize we are all sinners but wanted to know if anyone of these reasons could perhaps be justified against. Not that I am personally blaming anyone, but I tend to see a drift towards people having valid excuses. In the end God can and does forgive all sins of those who seek it.

I’m not sure what you mean by “a drift toward having valid excuses”. Sin is sin. there is no “valid excuse” for sin, there is only repentance, contrition and a firm commitment never to commit the sin again.

If your parents tells you that the main reason(s) they didn’t go to mass and take you on Sundays and Holy Days of obligations when you were a kid was because they were too busy working making money trying to take care of you.

What is valid about this? Christ tells us that we cannot serve two masters, God and mammon. (Mt 6:24
Even if their work requires weekend duty (police, fire, hospitals etc.)There are masses on Saturdays as well as on Sundays. They could probably make arrangements with friends or neighbors to get you to mass.

If your dad tells you he had a vasectomy because he didn’t want to have anymore kids and didn’t have the money.

And if he changed his mind and wanted more children and did have the money? Vasectomies are not always reversable.
The church’s teaching on this is clear. Trust God and Live a chast life.

Also, is it ever charity to say you’ve always been a great person and that you always do kind things out of your heart, but then complain about not being appreciated in the end?

No - First of all bragging is a sin of pride. Second of all, seeking earthly “appreciation” only reduces ones treasure in heaven and is a sin of greed (wanting appreciation now).

Does anyone ever have a right to complain if they are doing charity from the heart? Even if it’s clearly seen that they got used or ripped off? Ie. If I give money to a homeless person out of my heart then find out that he’s a panhandler, do I have a right to complain about him and tell everyone I got used and I’m not appreciated because I give and don’t get what I wanted in return, praise for my good deeds?
The fact that the person you gave to is unworthy does not reduce the charity in your giving. What does reduce the charity of your gift is if you “expect” some return from it. It isn’t what he is or does, it is what you are and do.

I understand we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. I just find that some of these things seem like an excuse when they might not be.

They are “excuses”, but not legitimate ones. Christ tells us that we must be perfect as our heavenly father is perfect. (Mt 5:48) That perfection is in Love. Love of God and Love of neighbor. (Mt 22:36-40) This then is the great commandment - To Love.

To Love God and wish never to offend Him in anything we say or do. Not out of fear of hell, but out of Love for Him who made us.

Peace
James

 

[Claire_from_DE]

I have a few questions about sin. I realize we are all sinners but wanted to know if anyone of these reasons could perhaps be justified against. Not that I am personally blaming anyone, but I tend to see a drift towards people having valid excuses. In the end God can and does forgive all sins of those who seek it.

If your parents tells you that the main reason(s) they didn’t go to mass and take you on Sundays and Holy Days of obligations when you were a kid was because they were too busy working making money trying to take care of you.

They may have thought this at the time. Don’t judge them, but you could ask if they think differently now. There’s no point in getting into an argument about this.

If your dad tells you he had a vasectomy because he didn’t want to have anymore kids and didn’t have the money.

If a friend told you that he was thinking about a vasectomy, you could talk to him about it and try to convince him that NFP is quite effective but also that marriage is better when you’re open to life.

If your father wants to have a discussion, don’t tell him that he should have done something differently. Tell him what you will try to do in your own life and why. Don’t argue. He can’t go back and change his decision. Assume that he made it when he didn’t have good information and he was in a difficult situation. Again, don’t judge him after the fact. You are responsible for your own actions, not his. Think of the commandment to honor your father.

Also, is it ever charity to say you’ve always been a great person and that you always do kind things out of your heart, but then complain about not being appreciated in the end?
Does anyone ever have a right to complain if they are doing charity from the heart? Even if it’s clearly seen that they got used or ripped off? Ie. If I give money to a homeless person out of my heart then find out that he’s a panhandler, do I have a right to complain about him and tell everyone I got used and I’m not appreciated because I give and don’t get what I wanted in return, praise for my good deeds?
I understand we all make mistakes in life, no one is perfect. I just find that some of these things seem like an excuse when they might not be.

You have to do what you believe God wants you to do. Real charity is doing something out of love for God and neighbor. It’s very disappointing to find out that someone has taken advantage of you. It’s better to quietly decide to be more prudent in the future. Offer it up and don’t complain.

If you are talking about someone else rather than yourself, just tell them that God saw their good intention and was pleased even if they were gypped. Encourage them not to let this experience make them less charitable. Don’t judge them or get down on them for complaining (after all, they did try to help the person). Don’t feed into their complaints. Change the subject.