Question For All The 20 and 30 Year Olds!

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Alright all you millennials! I have a question for you guys!

I am fairly active in my parish and frequent a mass that has a pretty large amount of adult Catholics in their 20s and 30s. A lot of these people come to mass and split right afterwards. I want to get some sort of social gathering together for my peers, so we can network and get to know each other.

Catholic Beer Club recently came to my town and the turnout was pretty impressive. That leads me to believe that there is a niche to be filled with Catholics in this age range. They want the opportunity to network and forge friendships with people of a common faith, but they either don’t know how, or the opportunity simply isn’t there. I want to create that opportunity within my parish.

The largest obstacle, and my question here is:
What can I do, or what incentive can I give, to get 20 and 30 year old Catholics to attend something like this. I know it can be difficult attending something where you don’t already have friends, or to open up to a room full of strangers that you only see once a week. What can I do to pull in that age range to some sort of Catholic social hour? What would work for you? Games? Beer? Snacks? Movies? What would make you feel comfortable enough to open a dialogue in a group of Catholic peers?

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut!

-Joshua
 
Theology on Tap is always fun. Should be at an English style pub that is quiet enough to facilitate conversation.
 
Maybe it would be easier if the focus was on something other than fellowship…maybe a project that has to do with social justice, or a seminar where people could learn and then discuss.
 
I should add…I think the fellowship would naturally come later. It’s just really tough to walk into a room and feel like you have to make friends right off the bat!
 
I should add that I discussed the idea with our pastor and he is wholly on board with the idea. We had talked about possibly having him there to discuss a few spiritual topics and how they relate to us socially.

I would agree that having something to do initially would be the best way to open people up a bit. That’s kind of where I thought games might come in. A few simple group games might ease the tension a little bit. It seems like that is something that is pretty accessibly to most people.
 
I would want something low key that I can bring my baby to. I’m basically shut out of all the young adult things because they are at bars in the evening. And all the other mothers in my church are quite a bit older than I am. I would appreciate more family friendly events.
 
AClaire11 said:
I would want something low key that I can bring my baby to. I’m basically shut out of all the young adult things because they are at bars in the evening. And all the other mothers in my church are quite a bit older than I am. I would appreciate more family friendly events.
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If you don’t mind me asking, because I’ve been curious how this will play with younger parents…

Are you married? If so, is your husband Catholic? Is this something you’d plan on attending together?

Thanks
-Joshua
 
Hi!

I’m in my early 30s and I’ve worked somewhat successfully over the past few years to organize young adults in my parish. What has worked for me:
  1. Personal invitation. WHAT you do doesn’t matter so much as making people feel welcome. People may show up if you just put up a bunch of posters and hope for the best, but nothing beats introducing yourself and being interested in the individual. Also, reminders are a big help, we are all busy, and things slip our mind.
  2. Service projects have always been a popular, as long as you have enough advanced notice, and don’t forget reminders. If you have a local habitat for humanity or shelter where you can make food, gather a group of friends, sign up, and then invite everyone out afterwards for fellowship. A lot of people WANT to volunteer, but may not know how to start. You could be that facilitator.
  3. There is a plethora of DVD study programs out there, and my friends at least have been very interested in them. They don’t take much organizing, as long as you can find a comfortable place with a TV and refreshments, they practically run themselves. A little socializing, a little catechizing, a little discussionizing, pray, done.
  4. We just had a game night, it was really fun and nice to break up our regular schedule (we’re currently studying Theology of the Body). I’ll probably make it a more regular thing in the future!
  5. Whatever you do, don’t forget to pray together, that’s what you’re there for right? You must make Jesus the center of your relationship, or else it will fail. Begin and end with a prayer. Have one ready, many people are shy to pray out loud at first, so plan on taking the lead with that, too.
  6. Get 2 or 3 other people to share the organizing duties with. It’s a lot of work, and you might get burned out if you go it alone.
Hope that wasn’t too much to read, and that it helps! Good luck!
 
Young adult ministry can be difficult. I would encourage any parish interested in this to focus on finding and developing those within the age group who want to lead in ministry.

YAM is much more effective as a peer led ministry assisted with resources from the parish and diocese – such as ability to tie in to parish website, use parish mailing/copy/meeting facilities, seed money, and training/guidance in navigating parish and diocesan waters. The diocese can bring in bigger name speakers/resources than an individual parish.

Check with your diocese office of YAM for opportunities and what the diocese is already doing and get in contact with NCYAMA.

Also read Sons and Daughers of Light: Pastoral Plan for Ministry with Young Adults.
 
AClaire11 said:
I would want something low key that I can bring my baby to. I’m basically shut out of all the young adult things because they are at bars in the evening. And all the other mothers in my church are quite a bit older than I am. I would appreciate more family friendly events.
Click to expand...
I think all YAMs struggle with single vs married vs married with kids. These tend to naturally break into 3 different ministries precisely because they are in different stages and have different social and spiritual needs.
 
joshvanrad said:
If you don’t mind me asking, because I’ve been curious how this will play with younger parents…

Are you married? If so, is your husband Catholic? Is this something you’d plan on attending together?

Thanks
-Joshua
Click to expand...
I am married. My husband is lapsed but would attend some of the time.
 
You’ve gotten great feedback already. I’ll just add that there isn’t going to be one magic program out-of-a-box that it going to pull in the young adults by the barrelful. It’s a broad age range representing people in very different places. Married or not married; has younger kids, has older kids, or has no kids. Theology on Tap will appeal to some. Moms and Tots will appeal to others. You just have to start with something and build from there.

As Stephen says said (sorry, just had to say it that way ;)), personal invitation really is key. There’s no shortcut. It takes work. And having help is essential, which you seem to recognize.
 
Millennial here. Games, definitely! But an environment friendly enough to bring our breastfeeding babies and toddlers. I think, based on my personal experience, people tend to be more open while moving or doing something than just when sitting to talk.
 
I’m seeing thoughtful replies, and I’m right on board with the games. 🙂

However, the needs of the young adults in your parish will be specific to your particular demographic – which includes educational and other aspects relating closely to your physical location. A broad survey of an international population such as this may not garner much specifically relevant data.

Have you considered running a poll in your church? Put a brief ad in the bulletin with a QR code that will take them right to the poll. Make it very simple, so it takes under 30 seconds to complete: list your ideas, make sure they can check all that interest them (not just one), and leave a box for other suggestions or comments.

Via the comments, you may find that there is a core group of people who are very excited about this idea, and that would be good. You could start out by meeting with them; their ideas would help the project take shape, and they would naturally pull in their own friends to the first activities, so you’d have a kernel of people to start with. Also, in the long run you definitely don’t want to be running something like this completely on your own. It just won’t work.

I’ve prayed for your endeavor – that Jesus will help you build up your church family, and that He will give you the new tools you need for every step of the venture as it develops and grows. I hope you have success. 🙂
 
Movies are a great start. When the members of your group start to feel a sense of friendship, you can move on to more service-based programs, like putting together meals for the homebound.
 
joshvanrad said:
Alright all you millennials! I have a question for you guys!

I am fairly active in my parish and frequent a mass that has a pretty large amount of adult Catholics in their 20s and 30s. A lot of these people come to mass and split right afterwards. I want to get some sort of social gathering together for my peers, so we can network and get to know each other.

Catholic Beer Club recently came to my town and the turnout was pretty impressive. That leads me to believe that there is a niche to be filled with Catholics in this age range. They want the opportunity to network and forge friendships with people of a common faith, but they either don’t know how, or the opportunity simply isn’t there. I want to create that opportunity within my parish.

The largest obstacle, and my question here is:
What can I do, or what incentive can I give, to get 20 and 30 year old Catholics to attend something like this. I know it can be difficult attending something where you don’t already have friends, or to open up to a room full of strangers that you only see once a week. What can I do to pull in that age range to some sort of Catholic social hour? What would work for you? Games? Beer? Snacks? Movies? What would make you feel comfortable enough to open a dialogue in a group of Catholic peers?

Thanks for any (name removed by moderator)ut!

-Joshua
Click to expand...
Number one:
Focus on helping them socialise with each other.
Young catholics these days generally don’t know anyone else their age who are catholics.

Fun events initially that help them all to get to know one another would be brilliant.

Normal socialising events but for catholics.
Bowling, go Karting, table quizzes, movie night, pilgrimage together somewhere, hiking, paint balling,…

Prayer group once a week, with adoration.

Music is the laughter of the soul (Shakespeare wrote),
There is a lot of new Christian and Catholic music that is beautiful and could be used for the prayer group or Catholic choir.

Catholic choir for a youth mass once a month is another option, get them all singing, and those who play instruments to learn instruments.
 
Speaking as a millennial who has desperately wanted to be part of something like this for the last 8 years I think a midweek evening would be best and I would try to find a convenient location. It should be properly advertised, word of mouth can be very cliquey and a contact email for anyone interested would be good.

As MrsAngelala suggests I would do a survey to get a feel for the kind of group you would be able to bring together before making too many decisions. I’m not sure how best to match the needs of millennials with families and without. I think if one group predominate it’s likely the ministry will end up catering to that group which could be tricky for the others. It may be better to consider sometimes splitting into 2 groups and other times doing things together.
 
Stephen_says said:
Hi!

I’m in my early 30s and I’ve worked somewhat successfully over the past few years to organize young adults in my parish. What has worked for me:
  1. Personal invitation. WHAT you do doesn’t matter so much as making people feel welcome. People may show up if you just put up a bunch of posters and hope for the best, but nothing beats introducing yourself and being interested in the individual. Also, reminders are a big help, we are all busy, and things slip our mind.
Click to expand...
Agreed, and if possible, an opportunity for follow up/ info about future events. Not in a pushy way, but many people find it hard to stay in touch especially if they are new.

What is done would depend on your target group. I think variation in events might help reach out to different groups. I like the idea of service projects and always look forward to Theology on Tap 🙂 Incorporating prayer is always a good idea. Maybe praise &worship nights, going to adoration together.
And encourage them to bring their friends too! It may not be feasible for every event but try to make it easy, at least for some events, to allow people to pass the invitation along.
 
joshvanrad said:
Alright all you millennials! I have a question for you guys!

I am fairly active in my parish and frequent a mass that has a pretty large amount of adult Catholics in their 20s and 30s. A lot of these people come to mass and split right afterwards. I want to get some sort of social gathering together for my peers, so we can network and get to know each other.
Click to expand...
I “split” as you say because the parish never really offers anything to me. The child abuse scandals hit my diocese hard. All the money the diocese had to pay and still has to pay has caused most expensive ministries, like anything that serves youth and young adults to cease to exist.
joshvanrad said:
Catholic Beer Club recently came to my town and the turnout was pretty impressive. That leads me to believe that there is a niche to be filled with Catholics in this age range. They want the opportunity to network and forge friendships with people of a common faith, but they either don’t know how, or the opportunity simply isn’t there. I want to create that opportunity within my parish.
Click to expand...
I feel with Catholics, the parish really only wants us around when it wants us to serve them. They being the clergy, the families and the elderly, always want us to give to them, but they never give back. They treat us like resource for their ministries instead a group at the most vulnerable time of their lives in desperate need for ministries. Sad that the groups with much more life experience and wisdom want us to volunteer for them but won’t volunteer for us.

I think the success of the Beer Club is because it is probably the first time in a VERY LONG time that young adults in your parish get to be participants instead of servers.
joshvanrad said:
The largest obstacle, and my question here is:
What can I do, or what incentive can I give, to get 20 and 30 year old Catholics to attend something like this. I know it can be difficult attending something where you don’t already have friends, or to open up to a room full of strangers that you only see once a week. What can I do to pull in that age range to some sort of Catholic social hour? What would work for you? Games? Beer? Snacks? Movies? What would make you feel comfortable enough to open a dialogue in a group of Catholic peers?
Click to expand...
I think it might be some help to head to your nearest Baptist, Mormon, Evangelical, and nondenominational Churches and see how they do these things. The saying always is " Go to the Catholic Church for the sacraments, Protestant churches for community and service". Protestants, especially the ones I’ve listed, do ministries and service to young adults exceptionally well. Do what they do. You’ll probably find some of your fellow Catholic parishioners at their socials and clubs because of how much better they are than Catholic socials.

One of the things I’ve noticed with the Mormons and Baptists I’ve been hanging out with is that they make people in the 20-30 age range a priority. The old and wise serve them, not the other way around. One specific example was their single groups were headed and ran by someone who was already married and whose children were already married. In a Catholic Parish it is expected that people who need the ministry make it, quite the opposite!
 
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