Question for all you Catholic men out there...(or anyone who wants to answer)

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Wait, is that why my girlfriend* keeps smashing pianos?​

*my imaginary girlfriend for the purpose of this joke that is
 
Interesting range of answers.

Geezer here, married since the first Nixon administration, so I’ve been, umm, let’s say, out of the market for a long time. That said, I don’t see anything unnatural or unattractive with a woman’s making a clear tasteful expression of her interest in deepening the relationship. It has been correctly pointed out that in many cases, guys don’t get hints.

D
 
I’m all for encouraging guys to not sit around resting on their laurels waiting for the girl to make the first move. I’ve seen guys that take the general cultural shift towards equality as an excuse not to make the effort because now the girls can do it instead. No good!

That said, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman making her feelings known to a guy. I know for me, I can be pretty dense and clueless. Back in the day, I had several girls make their affection known to me. Had they not done so, I would have continued on totally oblivious. It never occurred to me that I’d think less of them or find them less attractive for their having done so.

Obviously, there are better and worse ways to go about it. 😜 But there is no Catholic teaching that would prevent a girl telling a guy she likes him.
 
Many trips around the sun for me. I’ve seen that men can be blind (?) to a woman’s feelings. He thinks they are friends, buddies, and she is totally in love! Women in general can turn a crush into more in their heads while the guy is oblivious.

Women making their feelings know can help avoid broken hearts and unreciprocated feelings.
 
What? Good Lord, no. The world is full of men who aren’t naturals at making the first move, or at articulating what they would like to express. And even among men who are good at taking the lead … well, let’s just say that if hearing a woman express her feelings is enough to turn a fellow off, you’ve probably dodged a bullet where that fellow’s concerned.
 
Does natural law require us to read minds? No, it doesn’t. So just tell me plainly.
 
It is not against natural law

It is only unattractive if the guy is not interested in the woman. If a guy wants woman and she tells him that she has feelings for him then I do not care how much you hear guys say that they would not like it, there is no way that they are going to reject that woman unless maybe they are playing some kind of weird mind game.
 
what if he used to like her but got over it? is that still unattractive?
 
There is no faith base answer to this as far as I know. It is more cultural or at least conventional, depend on where you come from, time and era.

I am probably not in this generation but perhaps a conventional person. In my time, as far as I can remember, it is the man who makes the first move. And oh boy, how I had wished it wasn’t so. A shy boy, I suffered in silence not being able to display my feeling and said it in word.

A girl would not do that at the risk of being seen as cheap or desperate. Societal norm is rather stifling.

I hope time is changing - what’s wrong it is to say your heart out? It saves the boy the dilemma to perform his duty.

Have a blessed day.
 
This woman should focus less on whether he will find it “attractive” and just straight out decide if she wants to take the risk or not by making her feelings known. There is no way anyone can give you a answer that will apply to “guys” in general. Too many variables.

If hes “over it” but whoever still has feelings for the guy, then obviously she has nothing to lose by making those feelings known to him. He is either gonna decide to give it another chance or reject her. Rejection hurts but it gives one a chance to move on. If the guy is “over it” then obviously he is not gonna make a move on the woman. She has two choices then… either let it go or make a move herself. If she decides not to because she thinks the guy should do it then she risks him NEVER making a move. Its not hard.
 
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You’re looking for a natural law explanation, I think CCC 2334 and 2335 would help in that they reference the equal dignity that men and women share, and they share by virtue of being created in the Image and Likeness of God. If they share that dignity at their creation, and share that dignity in marriage, they share it in all relationships (including prior to the start of one).

A woman may express her interest as legitimately as a man may express his. Just because a feminist perspective may espouse that women should take the lead doesn’t mean that any time a woman takes the lead in expressing feelings (or motivating anything else in a relationship) it is automatically rooted in feminism.
 
Unfortunately a lot of guys tend to be on the spectrum of so shy they take months to make a move or so overly confident they ask for a girls number after 5minutes
 
joyful said:
Maybe this question should also be in apologetics, but is it unattractive or against natural law if a woman tells a man she has feelings for him?
I hear a lot of mixed things either from the “feminist” perspective saying “wear the pants” or from people who say men should lead, or from personal experience where I’ve always seen a guy reject a girl and makes her feel really awkward after she admits her feelings for him.
Looking for a more faith-based answer
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Nothing to stop you; may God guide your life path; pray very much
 
cause I tend to side with more traditional roles of a man and women, the man pursues, courts, and dates a girl he’s interested. Biologically men and women are different and its been that way for hundreds of years.
 
wiggbuggie1 said:
cause I tend to side with more traditional roles of a man and women, the man pursues, courts, and dates a girl he’s interested. Biologically men and women are different and its been that way for hundreds of years.
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You would be surprised when you were really into history regarding this theme - until the 19th century, it was a widely accepted view that the women were the sex with more libido, more active seducing skills. The (romantically) passive role of women is not that old, and in no way able to be back upped by biology when you look at former times.
 
It’s honestly so empowering whether or not it goes as planned. As long as we know our worth in God there’s nothing wrong with telling someone you like them. It’s a lot better than letting yourself get strung along or infatuated by someone and instead have a reality check, which I’m sure God would want for us too so we can give our hearts to Him. Thanks for the advice girl! Glad it worked out for you!
 
wiggbuggie1 said:
cause I tend to side with more traditional roles of a man and women, the man pursues, courts, and dates a girl he’s interested. Biologically men and women are different and its been that way for hundreds of years.
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I think that elicits the question of why is it the “traditional” way? Why do the biological differences between men and women necessitate that men are the ones who “pursue”?
 
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