Question for catholic women

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ALLFORHIM

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Hi All,
I was wondering what the CC teaches about women submitting to their husbands. Im not sure if this is the right spot to post so I might get moved.

Based on the Scripture–Ephesians 5:22 --33

The world has made submission a dirty word and it is a command from God so I was wondering what you all thought:D I personally struggle with this.

Thanks in advance
 
ALLFORHIM said:
Hi All,
I was wondering what the CC teaches about women submitting to their husbands. Im not sure if this is the right spot to post so I might get moved.

Based on the Scripture–Ephesians 5:22 --33

The world has made submission a dirty word and it is a command from God so I was wondering what you all thought:D I personally struggle with this.

Thanks in advance
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I think you might find information on this if you look up someone like Johnette Bencovic on EWTN’s web site.

I’m not sure whether “E-5 Men” is a Catholic group or not but it addresses the role of a husband’s spiritiual leadership in the family, and I know that Catholic groups use their guidelines.

Steve Wood’s web site www.dads.org is also big on this. You will find that wives’ submission is the obverse of the husband’s spiritual leadership. When I have heard Catholics comment on this, they always remind the men that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church: namely, to the point of death.

Submission to a spiritual leader is a no-brainer if the man is really taking his duty seriously and is a mature and loving person. Any woman worth her salt would “submit” to that!
 
I’m a lay person, that is becoming more and more acquainted with the Catholic church in recent years.

I personally have no problem with the idea of submitting to a husband. But then, I would never have a husband that wasn’t submit-to-able.

(^o^)
 
Allforhim,
That particular passage was read at my wedding in the Catholic Church followed by a detailed explanation in the homily. It really made us feel like we were part of something bigger then just the marriage. Very fitting. Tim
 
Ok, here it is.

Men and women are called, in their marriages to serve one another. It’s phrased differently for each of us, but it ultimately boils down to a pretty equal relationship.

We are commanded in scripture to be submissive to our husbands as is fitting in the Lord.

I the same breath, men are commanded to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

I think we all remember to what extent Christ loves the Church. If not, we can Re-read the gospels. More visual learners may want to check out Mel Gibson’s Passion of the Christ.

Plus, also remember that Jesus told us that if a person wants to be first, they must make themselves the servant of all.

Men, therefore, as the head of the family are called to be servants to their family, and to make their life’s purpose the welfare of their wives and children. This should include decisions men make.

This is a pretty tall order, but some very very special men out there are willing to take a crack at it.

If a man, with the grace of God, does this, he will be the type of man that women should be able to comfortably submit to.
 
The challenge for us women is, I think as follows:
  1. Find a man worth that level of trust. Not easy, but doable if one is willing to take her time about it.
    2.)Overcome any natural tendencies to argue, whine, nag, etc. (if any of you know how to do this all the time, I’d love to know! :D) Actually, my husband is great, when I start getting this way he will (ever so gently) call me on it.
I myself am a very strong-willed person, and can get very indignant and argumentative, even with someone as reasonable as my husband usually is. I often make myself swallow my pride and just do what he asks me to do when I know he is asking me to do something that is best for our little family. I don’t always do the best job at that, though.😦

I was married on the Solemnity of the Nativity of St. John the Baptist, and so we chose to use the readings from that, rather than the usual wedding readings, but our priest was such a gifted homilist that he was able to make the connection between the readings about being called and annointed by God and about John’s life to married life. He pointed out that marriage is not only about mutual love and respect but it is also a vocation, and therefore about a lot of sacrifice on the part of each spouse as they face life (and possibly even suffering) together as one. It was pretty cool.
 
Wives are to submit to their husband… However Husband are to love their wives like Christ loved the church.

Christ loved the Church so much that he died for the Church. It’s not that hard to submit to someone that is willing to “die” for you.🙂

This doesn’t really answer your question directly, but it does give an Catholic View on Marriage. (Which might help give you a understanding from our point of view) It’s a long read… So only take the time to click on the link if you have time to read.

ewtn.com/devotionals/marriage/index.htm
 
It was only after listening to a talk by Christopher West www.nakedwithoutshame.com that I really understood submission. It’s not being a doormat; it’s not alway subjugating yourself and your needs; it’s not a bad thing. I feel like it means that we are to honor our husbands. By the same token the husband is called to love their wives as Christ loves the Church–a pretty tall order! Basically I think that a good marriage is one where there is complete love, trust, and devotion on the part of both spouses. I can “submit” to my husband because I know he would never ask me to do something that was immoral or would go against who I am.
 
aurora77 said:
I can “submit” to my husband because I know he would never ask me to do something that was immoral or would go against who I am.
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That reminds me of paragraph 2217 in the CCC. It talks about how children should obey their parents or teachers etc. However the paragraph ends with the statement: But if a child is convinced in conscience tht it would be morally wrong to obey a particular order, he must not do so.

Well the same is true with husbands and wives, or anybody that we come across. If they are asking us to do something that is morally wrong, then we don’t do it.
 
The other thing That just came to me EWTN had a mini series on called “MARRIAGE WORKS IN CHRIST”.

One of the the 30 minute segments had do with this passage. I wish I could remember what they said. However, I do know that you can buy a DVD of the series through ETWN: ewtnreligiouscatalogue.com/shop.axd/Default just type in the name of the show in the search field.

The co-host are founders of the “Alexander House”. Their web-page is thealexanderhouse.org/index.html
 
BBC has been doing this “Shakespeare Re-told” series of modernized re-makes of Shakespeare plays, including the Taming of the Shrew. (This version had Rufus Sewell) I watched it to see how they would handle the end, because I was concerned they would totally twist the plot to make modern day feminists feel good.

What they came up with was actually a pretty good message about the mutal nature of a married relationship. It actually came out critical of things like prenuptual agreements! and in favor of mutual trust and respect between spouses, even if it means giving up a little of what “I” want!

I won’t go into more detail about the end for anyone who hasn’t read the play or seen this adaptation yet

I don’t know if it’s out on DVD yet. It has a bit of secular nonsense in it too, but the overall message about how husbands and wives should relate to each other is remarkably wholesome. I recommend it for people with a good sense of humor and a love of shakespeare adaptations who want to see the modern culture grapple with the idea of wifely submission.
 
Our priest gave a great homily on that Scripture passage. He said, to paraphrase, “I like to call this reading the ‘wink-and-nudge’ reading, because at the beginning of it, you always have the guys winking and nudging their wives/girlfriends/girl friends in the pews. But it also says that the men should live their wives as Christ loved the Church. Jesus died for His Church! So women have to submit to their husbands, but guys, you’re supposed to die for your wives! Who’s winking and nudging now?”

My understanding though is that women are to submit to their husbands their every need, just as we do to Christ. A woman should be able to approach her husband and say “Honey, I need this” whether it be more attention in the home, help with the kids, a new car to replace a broken down one, whatever. And the husband should, with the good of the family in mind, attend to his wife’s needs, even as God answers our prayers according to His will. Husbands, at the same time, should do whatever it takes, “sacrificing their lives” for the love of their families.

And at the same time, because the husband is the spiritual leader and head of the family just like God is head of the Church, his wife should be able to submit herself to his decisions made for the good of the family. That’s not to say that only he gets to make decisions, but that the husband does have a place of primacy in decision making.I think its beautiful, and if I ever get married, I definately want that to be read at the Mass.
 
Sandtigress said:
Who’s winking and nudging now?"
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Also, our priest told us in our marriage prep sessions that in the society this was written to this was a REALLY big challenge for men, because in Ephesian society, wives were little more than property. The idea that men were supposed to love them in this way was COMPLETELY new. Hooray for Christianity, reminding us that men and women both have dignity!
 
mercygate said:
You will find that wives’ submission is the obverse of the husband’s spiritual leadership. When I have heard Catholics comment on this, they always remind the men that they are to love their wives as Christ loved the Church: namely, to the point of death.

Submission to a spiritual leader is a no-brainer if the man is really taking his duty seriously and is a mature and loving person. Any woman worth her salt would “submit” to that!
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Yea, but my husband’s brand of spirituality is to sit on the riding lawn mower all Sunday morning. If I “submitted” to his type of spiritual leadership, I’d be burning in you-know-where for eternity.:eek:
 
mommyof4 said:
Yea, but my husband’s brand of spirituality is to sit on the riding lawn mower all Sunday morning. If I “submitted” to his type of spiritual leadership, I’d be burning in you-know-where for eternity.:eek:
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Hi,
I agree with all of you, thank you.😃

Mommy,

I have a husband who does not go to church but he still allows me to go and I respect his wishes not to be nagged to go. If he didnt want me to go then I would have a problem and have to talk to my minister on how to handle it.:eek: Thank the GOOD LORD He has given me a husband that supports my faith even if he doesnt participate.😃
 
Hi,

I went through a fantastic sunday school class called Love and Respect by Emmerit something(dont know last name). Not only was he hysterical in his video he was right on with both male and female actions and reactions.👍 I highly reccomend this video series. There are no anti-catholic anything in it. He simply talks about Love and Respect in a marriage. I took it by myself but since I have been more respectful to my husband he has been more loving to me. He did not know I was taking the class so he simply noticed my change in behavior.😉

All newlyweds should watch it!!
 
**Mommy,

I have a husband who does not go to church but he still allows me to go and I respect his wishes not to be nagged to go. If he didnt want me to go then I would have a problem and have to talk to my minister on how to handle it.:eek: Thank the GOOD LORD He has given me a husband that supports my faith even if he doesnt participate.:D**

Yes, my husband usually does not give me a bad time about my faith. I try really hard not to nag him, because I think that if I did, he would just dig his heels in all the deeper. I just try to be loving, respectful, and supportive to the best of my abiltiy. And I pray A LOT for the Holy Spirit to move him to practise his faith.
 
mommyof4 said:
**Mommy,

I have a husband who does not go to church but he still allows me to go and I respect his wishes not to be nagged to go. If he didnt want me to go then I would have a problem and have to talk to my minister on how to handle it.:eek: Thank the GOOD LORD He has given me a husband that supports my faith even if he doesnt participate.:D**
Click to expand...
Yes, my husband usually does not give me a bad time about my faith. I try really hard not to nag him, because I think that if I did, he would just dig his heels in all the deeper. I just try to be loving, respectful, and supportive to the best of my abiltiy. And I pray A LOT for the Holy Spirit to move him to practise his faith.

Hi,
Yes I pray and my whole church prays as well. I do see little changes in him.😃 Corporate pray is a wonderful thing.😃
 
I wouldn’t know what to do with a wife who submitted herself to me in love! ha! I’d probably cry my eyes out every night and love her to death not knowing how, knowing that I’m most unworthy of such love (even from a human creature). 🙂 I don’t know how that sounds to you, but it’s quite an inexplicable feeling. Also, what seems natural to me would be exactly what Paul in the name of Our Lord says to me, to love my wife as Christ loves His Church. How does He love Mother Church? He holds her close, clothes her, feeds her, kisses her with graces; He is her support, and would even die that she might live. The last thing I would want to be is oppressive or abusive, as I can’t begin to imagine Christ treating us as such.

Reading what you lovely ladies have said has awakened an anxiousness from within me that’s been laying dormant for too long. Pray for us men, that we might be as worthy of you as Jesus is of His Holy Church!
 
mommyof4 said:
Yea, but my husband’s brand of spirituality is to sit on the riding lawn mower all Sunday morning. If I “submitted” to his type of spiritual leadership, I’d be burning in you-know-where for eternity.:eek:
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And my husband’s idea of spirituality is watching ESPN all morning, afternoon and early Sunday evening w/my 20 year old son.
It’s obvious St. Paul never anticipated CABLE! 😉

Submitting to that would be worse than Purgartory. :eek:

God Bless!
 
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